Toilet Paper 1: The Creation (3/5/07 - 3/14/07)


Chapter 1: Evil Toilet Paper

The nameless mad scientist in Hollywood lived behind that Hollywood sign. Because of this, the few people who knew about him called this mad scientist Woody.

Woddy was concocting a potion to bring inanimate objects to life. He usually failed at making potions, or at least he made something different than what he wanted. Like when he made his turn-into-a-spider potion, he put in the Black Widow venom, but then the potion ended up becoming a potion for being evil.

With the bring-stuff-to-life potion, Woody put in the first ingredient: toad skin. These days, with all those save the animals groups, he had to use fake toad skin. There wasn't much of a difference really.

The second ingredient was the most alive creature alive: a ventriloquist's dummy. Putting one of those in, Woody prepared the third ingredient: a dancing frog. It would have to be still dancing as he put it in the mix.

But suddenly Woody had that sudden urge to go number two. Except Woody was out of toilet paper. Woody hated going into public places like a store, but he hated using leaves as toilet paper too. So Woody went to a store.

Although Woody didn't know, he actually had toilet paper. He must have forgotten that he put them under his cauldron to lift it up a bit. Ooh... stinks for him.

Also, Woody had made one big mistake. He forgot to put the dancing frog in the cauldron. The frog danced its way over to the cauldron singing, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch." Then the frog tipped the cauldron over. Then the frog tried to steal some toilet paper and get out of there - toilet paper is hard to come by these days.

The frog then looked for an exit. The only exit was blocked by the spilled potion, which the frog knew if he touched, the potion would go into effect. The frog didn't care though. He danced his way over to the potion, carrying toilet paper, singing, "I am an idiot!"

The frog touched the potion and disappeared immediately. He dropped the toilet paper. The toilet paper then began to shake and rumble, and then it grew a face, then arms, then legs. "Oh boy!" said the toilet paper. "I'm a real boy!"

The toilet paper then began to run around the room. The toilet paper then crashed into a table. A table that contained the evil potion. That potion spilled on the toilet paper, turning it evil. The toilet paper then grew fangs and said, "Time to kill."


Chapter 2: Building an Army

Woody entered the toilet paper aisle. He grabbed some toilet paper and then walked to the line to pay. Then Woody saw a mutant toilet paper walk into the store. He thought nothing of it, though. Woody didn't know toilet paper didn't ever walk around.

But then suddenly the toilet paper leaped onto the toilet paper Woody was holding. Then the toilet paper bit down into the toilet paper Woody was holding. Those toilet paper then grew a head, then arms, then legs, and then finally fangs.

Woody ran. Somehow Woody knew these toilet paper were his creation. He must have accidentally spilled the potion! Ha! His potion actually worked this time!

Meanwhile, the toilet paper leader, who had named himself Payper, made his way to the toilet paper aisle. There he would build his army.

Payper bit toilet papers in the aisle, turning them living and evil. "Go now!" yelled Payper to his new toilet papers. "Build up the army! Bite all the toilet papers you see!" So this is how Payper built up his army. Soon, they would be ready to attack.

Woody was hurrying up the hill to get to the Hollywood sign. He had to hide! If anyone found out he made these creatures, he'd be arrested! So Woody got to the sign and hid in his lab.

"What!?!" he shouted. "My lab has been trashed!"

On the floor were tons of smashed potions on the ground. His work was destroyed. And he knew who did this.

"I'll get you toilet paper!" he yelled to nothing.

Woody decided to walk outside and look down at Hollywood. He did, and he saw absolute terror. Hollywood was on fire. And Woody saw police officers coming up the hill. "You're under arrest!" said one.

"I didn't do anything wrong," responded Woody.

"You unleashed evil toilet papers to the city, which amendment fifty-three says is illegal. Ahem... 'Evil toilet paper creating, no matter how small, is illegal.'"

"You have no proof, though, so ha!" cried Woody.

Woody got arrested anyway. He got Judge Trudy at trial so he got treated unfairly. Then he was thrown in jail.

"This is bad!" Woody moaned. "Them toilet papers, they are very, very bad!"


Chapter 3: John

John was watching the news one day, while eating a John's Best Pizza, while talking on his Johnny cell phone. The news was being really retarded lately. They were talking about Toilet Paper attacking Hollywood. Right...

John was currently in Los Angeles, in a pizzeria. John looked out the window just to make sure toilet papers weren't running loose. He didn't see any, so he resumed eating his pizza.

Then someone shouted "FIRE!" John looked over at the person and saw a fire. And then he saw it. Toilet paper were coming out of the restaurant's kitchen.

"It's true!" cried John. "There really are living toilet papers!"

John ran out the building and then from outside, he watched the building burn to the ground. John then turned around to go back to his home, but blocking his path were dozens of toilet papers, ready to bite.

"Attack him!" shouted one. The toilet papers jumped on John and bit him. John fell unconscious.

John woke up in a lab. It was messy and potions were smashed all around the room. A toilet paper wearing a crown walked over to John. The toilet paper, named Payper, said, "This shall be our first kill!"

John just realized he was tied to a chair. He looked around to see hundreds of toilet papers staring at Payper, waiting for him to make the kill.

"And I, Payper, shall bite our prisoner's head!" exclaimed Payper.

"No," said John. "Don't bite me!"

"Oh I will!" said Payper.

"Okay, fine." said John, submitting. "But can you answer something for me? I want to know...why me?"

"Because....I cannot tell you. Some questions need not be answered," said Payper.

And then Payper leaped up into the air and landed on John's head. John wiggled and shook his head, trying to throw Payper off. Then John launched his head forward, launching Payper across the room.

"That's it!" cried Payper. Payper pounced all the way across the room, fangs sticking out of its mouth. John jumped into the air on his chair, and Payper's fangs sunk into the rope that tied John to the chair. The rope broke, and John was free.

"Get him!" cried Payper.

John looked around for the exit. Seeing it, he hurried over to it. But Payper blocked his path. "You're not leaving," Payper said.

John kicked Payper but Payper's fangs caught onto John's shoe. John was quick thinker though, so he hit his foot at the wall repeatedly. "Stop!" cried Payper.

"Why?" asked John, still kicking Payper into the wall.

"Because I have a huge army," said Payper.

John stopped for a moment.

"Now listen to me," said Payper. "I'm going to give you an offer."

"What?" asked John. "You're gonna wipe my butt?"

"No," said Payper. "I'm going to ask you... Do you want to roll with us?"

"Umm..." said John.

"It's a yes or no question, foo!" shouted Payper.

John was thinking if he joined their side, he could get in on their plans. He could stop them!

"Yes, I'll join," said John. "So... where do I sleep?"

John was taken down a hallway the size of a gorilla, but that gorilla was pretty big. Well, at least the sign said, "This hallway's as long as a gorilla." John entered a room with a small bed and hundreds of beds small enough for toilet papers.

John got in his bed, but didn't fall asleep. Not that he took a half a dozen "Don't fall asleep" pills this morning, or not that he was thinking about stuff. No, the real reason he didn't fall asleep was because one toilet paper talked, farted, and snored in its sleep. At the same time!

John did eventually fall asleep, and he dreamed of baked beans. Exploded, the baked beans did. Then out of one came a toilet paper. Then the toilet paper lit other baked beans on fire, and then the toilet paper morphed into John. John lit himself on fire.

John then realized he was on fire. "Ahhh!" he yelled. "I'm an idiot! I lit myself on fire! How stupidly retarded am I!"

John awoke from his dream. It was now morning. Payper came in the room and said to John, "It's time for your first mission!"


Chapter 4: Evil John

John had to go to Las Vegas and burn down five casinos. But first, John and his four toilet paper partners would need transportation to get there.

John and the toilet papers journeyed to a gas station. A car pulled up and a man got out. John sneaked up behind the guy and said, "Boo!" The man completely freaked out, spilling gas on his car, and running away. John and the toilet paper stole his car.

A little while later, they stopped at another gas station. John got out to fill up the gas tank, and a gas station worker walked out of the gas station mart.

"I think I'm the only one left in this town," said gas man. "Those toilet papers are biggest weasels."

John had a choice to make here. Hurt the guy or join the guy. Or he could ask the guy to join him.

"Listen, would you like to come with me to Las Vegas?" asked John.

"That sounds nice," said the gas man. "My name's Matt."

Matt got in the car.

"Toilet paper!" he shouted.

"You're coming with us!" said John.

"What's going on?" asked Matt.

"Your mom's going on!" cried John.

"What?" questioned Matt.

"It's true," said John.

"Nooooooo!" exclaimed Matt.

They made it to Las Vegas, and John said, "Stay in da car, foo, or else, sucka."

Matt didn't dare to leave the car. John got out with the toilet papers, and he watched as John lit a match. But Matt was surprised that instead of throwing the match at a casino, he threw it at the toilet paper. The toilet paper hardened into a baked bean shape. John didn't notice; he just ran.

The fire quickly spread to some grass parked near the car. John remembered there was gasoline all over it and screamed, "Out of the car!"

Matt jumped out of the car right before it exploded.

"I don't get you," said Matt. "First you're working for the toilet papers, but then you go an attack them?"

"Look," said John. "We need to get back to Los Angeles as quickly as possible."

So, they hitchhiked. As easy as that.


Chapter 5: Visiting Woody

"See ya, Mr. Evil!" goodbyed John. "And make sure that dog don't ever kill that cat!" Mr. Evil drove off.

"We have to find Woody!" said John to Matt. John and Matt went to prison. Then they went to the visitor's place.

"Get me out of here!" moaned Woody.

"Um...we'll try..." said John. "But we need something from you first."

"What?" asked Woody.

"We need to know how to defeat toilet paper," said John.

"Well," said Woody, "You can wipe your butt them, and that'll kill them."

"Yeah... I don't think that's what I mean," said John.

"Well you should know what you mean, because I know what I know. Because I'm smarter than you!" said Woody.

"No you're not!" said John. "E=MC²! A² + B² = C²! Mona Lisa is a man!"

"Mona Lisa's a man?" asked Matt.

"I don't care if you know a bunch of formulas or the first one-hundred digits of pi," said Woody. "That's not intelligence."

"Pie?" said Matt. "I like pie!"

"Pi, P-I," said Woody. "Not pie, P-I-E."

"Yeah, are you like, retarded or something?" asked John.

"Yes," said Matt.

"Okay, well, back to business," said John. "Is there any other way to defeat toilet paper?"

"Well, you could unroll them, but that wouldn't defeat them," said Woody. "Although that would make them vulnerable to fire and stuff like that."

"Thanks!" thanked John.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" asked Woody.

"No, I don't think we forgot..." started John.

Woody interrupted, "You dimwits forgot to bust me out of here!"

"That's illegal!" said John.

"You think I care?" said Woody.

"But I could get arrested," said John.

"Okay, whatever, I'm going to kill some toilet papers. If you wanna come, I'll leave the door open," said John.

"Stop with the health class stuff!" said Woody. "There's TNT in the dumpster across the street. Go get it."

John and Matt journeyed out of the visitor's room and now had to do something no man should ever have to do: jaywalk. So, they jaywalked across the street and got to the dumpster. Inside the dumpster were TNT and matches.

"Free matches!" shouted Matt and John. They took all the matches their pockets could hold. Then John lit a TNT.

"Now what?" asked John.

"Well, we either wait, or plant it in Woody's cell," said Matt. "I suggest we wait."

"Are you retarded?" asked John.

"Yes," said Matt.

John and Matt walked back across the street and went behind the jail. Seeing a barred window with salsa on the bars, John went up to it.

"Woody? Is this your cell?" asked John.

"Yes," said Woody, looking out the bars.

"Why is there salsa on your bars?" asked John.

"Because the warden let me have salsa, and salsa melts prison bars," said Woody. "I also tricked the warden into giving me a radio so now I have DC and salsa. I'm teh bestest, I know!"

"Well, here's some TNT," said John, chucking the TNT through the bars.

"TNT!" cried Woody. "You idiots! You're not supposed to give this to me! You're supposed to plant it outside the cell!"

The TNT exploded. When the smoke cleared, the wall that separated Woody from the outside world was gone. Woody's glasses, unfortunately, had broken.

"I'm free!" cried Woody. He walked out onto the grass. "Except... I can hardly see a thing."

"Stinks for you," said Matt.

"No, it doesn't just stink for him. It stinks for us too," said John. "We need to take Woody to a glasses store."

So the three went to a glasses store.

"Fix them?" asked the guy working there. "But why not buy a brand new pair for $399.99!"

"Yeah, but how much would it cost to fix them?" asked Woody.

"Three bucks," said the guy.

"Yeah, I guess I'll do that," said Woody. Woody got his glasses fixed.


Chapter 6: Elevator Action

Payper sat on his throne. His messenger walked up to him.

"What do you want?" asked Payper.

"I have an important message," said the messenger.

"Tell me," said Payper.

"Five bucks," said messenger.

"Do you really want me to unroll you?" said Payper.

"No sir, I just want to make money," said messenger.

"Go make money off of the other toilet papers!" shouted Payper.

"But you stole all the money of the other toilet papers," said messenger.

"Oh yeah," said Payper. "So...the message?"

"John, the human, betrayed us," said the messenger.

"Ha! I knew it!" exclaimed Payper. "Prepare the swords! We're going to war with the humans!"

Meanwhile, John and Matt were playing the card game War in John's house. "Seriously, this game goes on forever," said John.

"What if your name is Freddy Luck and your opponent's name is Frankie Strands?" said Matt.

"Well then shut up," said John.

Woody ran in the room. "They're coming!" he cried. "Run for your lives!"

John and Matt looked out the window. They saw toilet papers, carrying swords, marching down the street.

"We're not running," said John.

"What?" said Woody. "You must be more retarded than Matt!"

"Hey!" said Matt.

"Listen, I have a plan to defeat them toilet papers once and for all!" said John. "But we'll need swords."

"Oh, I know where some are!" said Matt. "I used to film for Hollywood, but then I got a great offer at the gas station! But anyway, there's a stash of swords on this rooftop. Follow me!"

They quickly made their way to the place Matt was talking about, undetected by the toilet papers. Those hippie disguises had worked!

The three then entered the building. They then went into the elevator. "The elevator does move kind of slow though," said Matt.

A little while back, the toilet papers saw three hippies on the street. "It's Woody, Matt, and John," said Payper. "But don't attack them. We need to see where they are going."

The toilet papers followed the three until they got into the elevator. "Ha!" laughed Payper. "This will be an easy kill!"

Payper instructed the toilet papers to go into the vent and climb above the elevator in the elevator shaft. Then he said to cut the rope.

So, the toilet papers climbed above the elevator. It was pretty dang slow for an elevator. "The idiots should've just took the stairs," said a toilet paper.

A toilet paper then jumped from the shaft wall to the rope. The toilet paper was about to cut the rope with its sword, when it dropped its sword. The sword fell, and with the sword's tip pointed down, it cut through the ceiling of the elevator.

Inside the elevator, a sword suddenly came out of no where from the ceiling, almost hitting Woody. "What the heck was that?" he asked.

"It looks like a sword," said John.

"But where did it come from?" asked Woody.

"I think I know," said John. "Toilet paper are in this elevator shaft."

Back in the elevator shaft, a toilet paper on the shaft wall said to the toilet paper on the rope, "You're an idiot! Let me cut the rope!"

The toilet paper attempted to jump to the rope, but it missed the rope and slammed into the elevator.

Inside the elevator, John, Woody, and Matt heard a thud on the ceiling. Then, the ceiling began to collapse, and a toilet paper fell into the elevator. John picked him up and unrolled him. Once he was down to that little roll, John stuck the sword from the ceiling into the toilet roll.

Now there was only one toilet paper left on the shaft wall. It jumped over to the rope and joined the other toilet paper on the rope. This toilet paper readied his sword. It was about to cut the rope.

John climbed through the hole in the ceiling, and looked up at the toilet paper about to cut the rope. He grabbed a sword that a toilet paper had dropped. Then John began to climb the rope. It was only a few seconds before John climbed to the toilet paper's position, and then John swung the sword at the two toilet papers that were on the rope.

The two toilet papers fell on top of the elevator; John jumped down there too. "You beings are evil," said John. John unrolled the two and stuck a sword in them. Then John grabbed their swords and went back in the elevator.

"Yeah, I defeated 'em," said John.

Suddenly, John, Woody, and Matt heard a ding. A computer voice said, "You have made it to the second floor. Would you like to get off?"

"What?" cried Woody. "We're only on the second floor!"

"Told y'all it moves slow," said Matt.

"Well I've got swords," said John. "All three of the toilet papers had them."

So Matt pressed a button and they exited the elevator. They took the stairs down.


Chapter 7: Fast Food

Exiting the building, tons of toilet papers attacked John, Woody, and Matt. John stuck his sword in the top layer of toilet paper, then spun the toilet paper around his head, unrolling him. Then John defeated the toilet paper roll with his sword.

Matt had some sword fights with the toilet papers. Never unrolled any, though. Woody though, created a potion to automatically unroll the toilet papers and put some fluid in his sword. Woody was able to defeat the papers super rapidly. It wasn't long before all the toilet papers were defeated.

"Ha!" said John. "We defeated them all!"

"There are still more," said Woody. "Their base is probably in my lab. So...let's go."

"Now?" asked Matt.

"If not now, when?" said Woody.

"Then," answered Matt.

"Okay then," said Woody. "We leave at then time today."

"Wait...what?" said John.

"Okay, so unless my clock is lying, it's then... so let's go!" said Woody.

And they did go. Although they stopped at a fast food restaurant along the way. Woody went up to the counter and asked, "How many calories do your chicken tenders have?"

"1,299," said the guy.

"Woah, that's way too much for me," said Woody. "What about the salad?"

"Well, we smother it with dressing, so the calorie count comes to 850," said the guy.

"Ooh! Dressing," said Matt. "Can I have a salad with extra extra EXTRA dressing?"

"Well... it'll cost you extra extra EXTRA money," said the guy.

"How much?" asked Matt.

"Well, the regular price is $1.95, so I add on some dressing and get..." said the guy. He got out a calculator. "One nine five plus one equals... ahh! Your grand total is $1.96."

So then they left to go to the lab.


Chatper 8: Ambushed

They all entered the lab, but it appeared to be deserted. And right when Woody put his sword down on a table, the toilet papers jumped down from the ceiling and attacked.

Woody dodged snapping fangs and ran over to his cauldron. "Guys! I have a plan, so protect me while I make a potion!" yelled Woody. Woody then began to add ingredients left and right into the cauldron.

John and Matt smacked toilet papers away from the cauldron and Woody with their swords. It didn't defeat them, but John and Matt didn't have time for that.

Payper then ordered to his troops, "This is like a great big puzzle. Instead of attacking Woody, or trying to attack him at least, attack those two bozos protecting him!"

The toilet papers thought this was great logic, so they tried to bite John instead. Pretty much every toilet paper thought Matt was a worthless idiot to go after.

So now John had a hoarde of toilet papers trying to bite into his neck or his brain. John did the whole shake your head and wiggle your body, and he even tried the stop-drop-and-roll method to get them toilet papers off, but nothing would get them off. So John yelled, "Help! Matt! Help!"

Matt came over and began to walk around John in circles. "Interesting," he said.

"Stop doing nothing!" said John. "Help me!"

"But don't you want to know what's interesting?" asked Matt.

"Not really," said John. "Now get 'em off. Off, I say. Off!"

"Okay," said Matt. He slashed John in the back.

"Ow!" cried John. "Erg...THAT HURT!" John grew angry. He shook as he walked up to Matt, then started to try to hit Matt. Then John tried to tackle Matt. He moved his arms furiously trying to punch Matt.

"Stop," said Matt. "They are off."

John then realized this was true. John had made such quick movements when he was angry that all the toilet papers had fallen off of him. "Where's that special sword Woody had that unrolled toilet paper?" asked John.

"Payper took it," said Matt.

John looked around and saw Payper holding Woody's sword. "Yeah... how do we get it from him?" asked John.

Matt walked up to Payper. "Can I please have your sword?" he asked. Payper struck Matt with the sword. Matt then walked back over to John and said, "Well that's all I got. And I saw please!"

John walked over and said, "May I pretty please have your sword?" Payper swung the sword at John, and John grabbed the sword. Then John took it from Payper. John then swung the sword at Payper, but Payper ran like a coward away from John.

John then swung at every toilet paper in sight. He protected Woody excellently, but something slipped through the cracks of his guard...or watch. Or whatever. Payper climbed onto Woody's head.

"Get it off!" shouted Woody. He brought his head back and launched it forward, causing Payper to go in his cauldron. "Ooh," said Woody. "That's not good."

The cauldron began to bubble, and Woody prayed that his potion wouldn't work, like most of the other ones he made. He was supposed to use the potion, not a toilet paper. The cauldron began to bubble more fiercely now, and wisps of smoke floated up from the cauldron like the first steam coming out of a kettle.

Then there was dead silence. Woody, John, and Matt stared at the cauldron. The only thing that would break the silence would be if the cauldron started bubbling again, for all the toilet papers had been defeated. But that's not what happened at all. The silence was broken in a much different way.

Woody, strucken with fear, walked silently closer to the cauldron. Then, when Woody was a foot away from it, the cauldron exploded, and behind the steam you could clearly see a gigantic Payper, about twice the size of a human.

Woody flew backward from the explosion, but he quickly got up and yelled, "RUNN!!"

John, Woody, and Matt ran quickly away from this large paper. Twas not good. Twas not good atall.


Chapter 9: Payper Attacks

Back in some shelter somewhere, John asked Woody, "Can you make Payper small again?"

"I'd need some time to do that," said Woody. "Look, he's not that dangerous as long as he doesn't bite any other toilet paper."

"And if he does?" asked Matt.

"Well, the toilet papers would come alive, become evil, then grow really big," said Woody. "I'm gonna work on a reverse potion for toilet paper." Woody left.

Payper, meanwhile, was sitting in the lab. He couldn't believe it. Everyone besides him was destroyed. And now he was big.

Payper looked at the ground and saw Woody's sword. "Ha!" cried Payper. He picked it up and snapped it in two.

Payper then went out into the streets with another sword.

Out in the streets, John and Matt were buying some donuts. "Mmm... those powdered donuts look sooooo good," said Matt. "But I don't have enough money for them."

"You're as broke as 50¢?" questioned John.

"I'm not as broke as Fiddy Cent!" stated Matt.

Then John and Matt heard a thud coming from outside. Looking out the window, they saw Payper. John and Matt rushed outside.

"Give me some toilet paper!" he commanded. He swung his sword at John. John barely dodged it. "You can't beat me!" he yelled.

Payper walked over to the donut shop they were just in and destroyed it with his sword. "More buildings like this will be destroyed if you don't give me toilet paper!" Payper began to walk closer to the city, but John ran after him.

John grabbed Payper's paper, and then tried to unwind him. And even after dodging a few sword swings, Payper managed to rip his toilet paper and escape from John.

So John ran toward the shelter place where Woody was. This was their chance of winning. Matt followed.

Bob Bob had been a cop for a while now. He had just gotten a call of a gigantic toilet paper attacking the city. He didn't believe this for a second, but he drove to the spot where he was told to go.

"There really is a giant toilet paper!" he shouted in disbelief. Bob exited the vehicle, and walked up to Payper.

"You're under arrest!" stated Bob. Payper looked at the cop.

"What'd you say to me?" asked Payper, picking Bob up.

Bob tried to reach for his taser gun, but Payper was holding him too tight. "You're mean," said Bob.

Payper chucked Bob into the air and didn't catch him. Things broke. Specifically bones.

"I finished the potion," said Woody to John and Matt in the shelter. "I'll put it in your swords." Woody did and then said, "Where's my sword?"

"Right here," said Payper, breaking through the wall. He was holding Woody's sword, broken in two.

"Runnnnnnnn!!!" cried Woody, and he ran out of sight.

John and Matt didn't run though. They picked up their swords. "You're going down foo," he said.

Payper took out a sword and furiously swung at Matt and John. "DIE!" he yelled. This pushed the two back to a fence, so John and Matt were at a dead end. Matt said to John, "Climb over the fence!"

"I'm not leaving without you!" said John.

"Oh shut up, you drama king's son's father!" said Matt.

So that convinced John to go over the fence, and John hid like a baby on the top of one of those bars at a construction site. There John saw Matt and Payper having an awesome sword fight, but then Payper swung at Matt real hard, and Matt got hurt.

Payper didn't care to finish him off; he'd rather watch him squirm in pain. Payper then jumped over the fence and climbed up to where John was, like an ape kidnapping a lady.

"Hello John," said Payper.

"Hello Payper View," said John.

"What was that?" asked Payper. "How do you know my full name?"

"Because I just do," said John, and he swung his sword at Payper. Payper defended himself with his sword and then began to swing his sword furiously again. This caused John to get driven back to the end of the construction bar. Now John was really at a dead end.

"There's no escaping me!" shouted Payper.

John tried to make one last swing at Payper, but Payper dodged it and swung at John. John fell back and fell off the bar, but he managed to grab hold of it again with his hand. John was now hanging on the bar.

Payper looked down at John and started to chant, "I won, I won! You lose, you die!"

"You haven't won yet," said John.

"Well who's gonna stop me, huh?" asked Payper.

Suddenly, a sword went straight through Payper. Payper then began to shrink back to his normal size, and behind Payper was Matt.

Matt picked Payper up, and then helped John climb back onto the bar. "Do you want to unroll him?" asked Matt.

"Sure thing," said John. He took Payper, held him over the edge, grabbed onto the first layer of paper, and then let gravity unroll him. Payper hit the ground hard.


Chapter 10: Aftermath

It had only been thirty minutes since that battle. And yet, between this and then, a lot happened. Like, they picked up Payper's remains, got in a hearse, drove to a morgue, got out of the hearse, walked inside the morgue, and put Payper's body away. Little did they know that Payper wasn't truly dead yet...

John and Matt then went to Woody's lab, where Woody got a TV and was watching the news. "I'm never making another potion again!" he said.

"But you make such great things!" exclaimed John.

"Stop trying to make me not feel bad for making toilet paper."

"Okay," said John.

"Yeah," said Matt. "You stink."

Meanwhile, Payper woke up from being unconscious. How could he have lost? He had lost everything, including his paper. He was just a roll now. But he would get revenge one day. One day, Payper hoped, he would get out of this morgue and take over the world.


To be continued...