The Legend of Cleff: Macarena Time (1/25/08 - 2/27/08)


Now, you might think Cleff, or Tim Jones, was born in New York City. That isn't true. Cleff was actually born in a region called Myrules and lived in a place within known as Mokiri Forest. He lived there until he was eleven, at which time he would embark on the fifth biggest journey of his life.


Chapter 1: The Fat Haiku Tree

Tim awoke one morning in his treehouse home to see that there was a fairy in his room. All the other kids had fairies since they were born, but not him. So why was there a fairy in his room?

"Who the heck are you?" asked Tim.

"I'm Compass," said [not Navi] the fairy. "I'm gonna be your fairy!"

Tim felt his hands being magically tugged into the air around Compass as a trumpet fanfare played and a message appeared onscreen saying, "You acquired Compass!"

"All right, the Fat Haiku Tree wants to see you. And you need a sword and a shield," said Compass.

Tim walked outside and down his ladder, where his best...er...only friend...er...acquaintance greet him. "Hello!" exclaimed Saria in an annoying voice. "I heard you need a sword and a shield!" She paused as the player pressed (A). "Anyways, here's a sword." She gave Tim a sword. "I was gonna use it to kill Waldo, but meh."

"Tanks, Saria!" said Tim.

Tim then journeyed to the store, ignoring the person on the roof telling him to look up. And...the wooden shield costered forty rupees!

"WAH!" shouted Tim. "I've been here my entire life and I only have six!" Tim only had one option. He had to rob the store.

Tim pointed his Mokiri Sword at the guy working at the store. "Gimme dat shield," ordered Tim in a gangsta-like voice. The worker took out a bow and arrow and shot Tim. After that, Tim decided he should get the rupees in the more honest way.

Tim robbed Waldo of his one hundred rupees. Unfortunately, his wallet could only hold nintety-nine. Then he bought a shield.

"To the tree!" shouted Tim, and he was off to the tree.

The Fat Haiku Tree wasn't well. His trunk was a gray, sickly color, and it needed to blow its nose. "I have a disease," it said. "I believe you're the only one who can save me." He paused as the player pressed (A). "Why? Because I said so." And at that, the Fat Haiku Tree opened its mouth wide.

Tim entered the tree.

*****

The first thing Tim noticed was that there was a big spiderweb across the floor. "You gots to jump on it from above," hinted Compass.

Tim began to climb up the vines to get to the third floor. Along the way, he was attacked by a spider with skulls for faces that were as big as his head. He killed them with just a punch though, unlike some wimpy kid who wore a green hat and had to use a slingshot.

When Tim got up to the top, he looked straight down. Certainly he'd break the web, but he wasn't sure if he'd survive the fall.

"If you die, I'll laugh," said Compass.

Tim prepared to jump. He ran toward the edge of his platform and... he was blocked by a giant skull spider that came down from the ceiling.

Tim just cut the string it was hanging on, unlike some wimpy kid who'd have to wait until it turned around. Then... he jumped.

For a few seconds he fell, but then he landed on the web. And he just bounced right back up as if it were a trampoline. Hitting the ceiling, gravity allowed him to come back down and break the web, making him fall down, down, down to the sub-basement floor.

Landing in a conveniently placed pool of water, Tim survived! "Thank Glaux for that conveniently placed pool of water!" shouted Tim.

"Yeah," said Compass. "That's great."

Tim walked out of the pool and stared straight at a large, barred door. Suddenly, three weird wooden creatures (that looked like shrubs with gun barrels for mouths) popped out of the ground and started shooting pellets at Tim. Tim tried reflecting the shots back at them with his shield, but the only one who got knocked out was the middle one, and when he reflected one at another, that guy got right back up!

"Twenty-three is number one," said Compass.

"What?" said Tim. "Stop saying gibberish!"

"It's not gibberish!" said Compass. It tells you how to win the puzzle!"

"I don't think knowing the number 23 is number 1 is gonna help me," said Tim.

"Oh, let me do it," said Compass, and he grabbed Tim's shield and reflected shots at the middle, the right, then the left.

The bars fell off the door. Tim entered through the door to fight Queen Oma.

Tim walked toward the center of a large, dark room and looked around. And there, on the ceiling, was a huge yellow eye staring down at him. Now if he only took the time to get that slingshot...

At that moment, Queen Oma jumped down from the ceiling and tried to land on Tim, but Tim just jumped out of the way. Tim ran over to Queen Oma's eye and tried to hit it with his sword, but it moved too fast and climbed back up the wall and onto the ceiling.

"I have a retarded idea!" shouted Tim. "Compass! Fly into Queen Oma's eye!"

"Uh...no wai," said Compass.

"Fine then," said Tim. He chucked the Mokiri Sword up into the air, straight towards Queen Oma's eye. Hitting it, Queen Oma fell down to the floor, hitting it with a thud, and disintegrated. After picking up his sword again, Tim saw a blue lighted section of the floor.

"Crud! He's still alive in his final form!" said Tim.

"No he's dead," said Compass. "Now walk into the blue light. I swear if you die, I WILL eat you."

Tim walked into the light, and he somehow appeared outside the tree. "Thank you," said the tree, seeing Tim. "But I'm afraid I'll die anyway."

"Wait... I did all that for nothing!" said Tim angrily.

"Yes," said the Fat Haiku Tree. "The person who did this to me was a skilled assassin. His name was... Cannondork."

"Ha!" exclaimed Tim. "CANNON-BANNED!"

"I don't have the time to explain. Take this. He wanted it. Protect it form him. Go to Myrules Castle. Go, Tim," said the Fat Haiku Tree, and as an emerald fell from the branches of the tree, which Tim caught, the tree shriveled up and turned even more gray, and died.

"Well, no sense in caring about the past," said Compass. "Let's go to Myrules Castle!"

Tim left the Fat Haiku Tree to die, and then went through the tunnel to leave Mokiri Forest. Saria, however, chased after him.

"Don't go!" cried Saria.

"I have to," said Tim. "That Fat Tree said I do."

"But you'll die when you leave the forest," said Saria. "The Mokiri are not allowed to leave!"

"But I must," said Tim. "I must for all the idiots, retards, and Mokiris. And I must for all the smart people, scientists, and Mylians too."

"All right, but before you go, let me show you how to dance the Macarena," said Saria. And she danced. "It'll be very important to you."

Tim stared at her for a second, then ran away as fast as he could. He didn't die when he exited the forest.

It was at that moment when Saria realized Tim just dissed the Mokiris.


Chapter 2: Dodongo Cavern

Tim was now in the glorious Myrules Field. So large, so little time to cross it! Tim began to run across the field, seeing a ranch, a mailman, a wall, killer spiders, homicidal maniacs, flying ebil animals with claws sharper than knives, and much more! Everything seemed normal!

Tim had now made it all the way across the field and to the castle now, but the sun was setting quick. Right as he was walking onto the drawbridge, it got real dark and the bridge went up, making Tim fall back onto the ground. It wouldn't go down again until morning.

"Oh great," said Tim. "What do I do until then?"

Suddenly, skeletons came up out of the ground. "Holy frog!" shouted Tim. "Why are people buried under the ground in a place like this?"

The skeletons moved closer and closer, and Compass flew farther and farther away. Tim charged into the pack of them, and right before he was about to kill one, the sun came back up. The skeletons retreated back into the ground and the drawbridge opened.

"That was quick," said Tim.

Tim walked across the drawbridge and entered the market town. Ignoring all the people dancing and running, Tim kept a low profile and sneaked out behind the town and followed the trail to Myrules' Main Castle.

There were guards making sure no intruders came in, though. Tim needed to avoid these, so he walked right in front of the guards and they all thought they were hallucinating.

Tim made it to the Main Castle easily. And the front door was unlocked too. Tim entered, and there were even more guards. "These guards look like they have an IQ of 35," said Tim, worried. "I'll never get past them. What should I do?"

"Um...say I'm most definitely a guard while walking?" suggested Compass.

"Great idea!" exclaimed Tim, and he did just that. Tim walked and yelled this all the way to the courtyard, where Princess Selda was looking through a window. She turned around and saw Tim.

"Hello," she said, completely unaware Tim just sneaked past all the guards that were supposed to be protecting her. "What's your name?" She paused as the player pressed (A). "Tim...giggle...are you sure?"

"What the crow," said Tim, realizing this was basically a one-way conversation.

"All right, well, I was looking through this window," said Selda, "And I saw this ebil man getting knighted. I saw him in my dreams and I overheard the guards saying his name was Canondork."

"Canondork?" said Tim. "But he's ebil!"

"I know!" agreed Selda. "He's ebiller than Donald Trump! And Zac Efron!" Selda just noticed Tim had something green and glowy in his pocket. "Is that...the Mokiri Emerald?"

"Yes," said Tim. "Want to trade it for a dollar?"

Suddenly, a crackling noise sounded. Selda jumped up, then grabbed a crossbow and aimed it at the entrance to the courtyard. There was a kind, loving, person wearing a blue, full-body suit. Selda fired the arrow at her as the blue person played a lullaby.

"Tim! Go to Moron Mountain and ask for the Moron Ruby!" Selda shouted, before falling asleep.

Tim ran for life, trying to climb unnecessary walls, attack unnecessarily, and fly by grabbing onto Compass. When all these methods unfortunately failed, Tim ran out the front door and all the way to Myrules Field. He didn't stop running until he made it to Makariko Village, a village right below Moron Trail, which led to Moron Mountain and Moron City, where all the Morons resided.

Tim walked up to the gate that led to Moron Trail. A guard was blocking the paht through it, so Tim talked to him. "Can I get through?" asked Tim.

"No!" said the guard. "It's too dangerous for a kid like you. Unless... do you have a letter from Selda, who's a kid and obviously doesn't know how dangerous it actually is?"

"Uh...no...but she said I had to go up here," explained Tim.

"Well, good enough," said the guard, and he let Tim through. "And take this Mylian Shield, too," he said, giving Tim a silver and gold shield that was very heavy and *almost* impeded Tim's walking.

Tim began walking up Moron Trail and saw that there really weren't too many dangers on the trail at all... besides Morons rolling down the mountain. "That guard was overprotective and retarded," suggested Compass.

They didn't find out until later that the guard actually was overprotective and retarded.

Soon, Tim and Compass had made it to the end of Moron Trail. They entered a cave, and inside this cave was Moron City.

Tim jumped off the cliff to get to the bottom floor quicker and rolled to stop the fall from hurting less, but really, if you jump three stories and land on hard rock, it's gonna hurt, even if you break into a roll.

Anyway, after healing all his broken bones by magic (he ate a fairy's head off), Tim walked into a room with a big, fat Moron in it. Oh, and to clear things up, Morons are yellow, rock-hard, things-that-can-turn-into-spheres-and-roll-around creatures.

"Hello?" asked Tim. "Can I have the Moron Ruby??"

"Me no talk," said the Moron leader. "Me like dancing."

"Right," said Tim. "Like I'm gonna play you a song."

"Me no talk," said the Moron leader again. "Me like dancing."

Tim realized there was only one solution to this puzzle of the Morons: Do the Macarena.

As Tim danced, music magically came out of no where. This music made that fat Moron leader dance too, and dance he did. He knew all the moves, like rocking back and forth, moving your arms, jumping into the air, telling the camera guy to zoom in on the sweat on your head... oh wait... He even still danced long after the magical music stopped playing.

"All right, I danced. Now give up the Moron Ruby," said Tim.

"Me only give ruby to sworn brother," said the Moron. "You not sworn brother."

"I want the ruby, foo!" shouted Tim, pointing his sword at the Moron's neck.

"You become sworn brother if you kill King Dodongo in Dodongo Cavern," said the Moron.

"Fine," said Tim, and he left.

After Tim left, the Moron said to himself, "That worked."

*****

Tim entered Dodongo Cavern, located halfway up Moron Trail. Immediately as he entered, he saw quite possibly the biggest skull he had ever seen... and it was a Dodongo's.

"They kill their own people?" wondered Tim.

"Well, yeah," said Compass. "What you think a Moron's or human's or human moron's head is gonna be that big?"

Tim walked deeper into the room now, noticing tiny creatures with bodies that were unmoving statues and had eyes that spun around its body. Tim stared straight into the eye and...

"OW! What the heck, man! Why'd you shoot me with a laser?" yelled Tim in pain, before running away from the homicidal eyeball guy who uses cheap attacks.

He ran all the way to a room that led to the upstairs of the cavern, but there were no stairs... there just were a bunch of plants that looked like bombs.

"What are these things?" wondered Tim.

"Bombplants," stated Compass. "You use them to bomb the..."

Tim interrupted, "No, no, I'll figure out the puzzle myself."

Tim picked up a bomb, and after a few seconds, it exploded in his hand.

"Hey!" shouted Compass. Tim ignored the loud, annoying shout, and he picked up the bomb from the plant again, which grew back. It exploded in his hands again.

"Hey!" shouted Compass again.

"All right, what do you want?" asked Tim, annoyed by how annoying that annoying voice was annoying him.

"Maybe putting the bomb near the stairs might do something," said Compass.

"What stairs?" wondered Tim, picking up another bomb and walking toward the wall that stuck out of the cave wall in the room. "All I see is this wall sticking out of the wall."

At that moment, the bomb exploded, causing Tim to fly backward and lose a heart and the wall sticking out of the wall to turn into stairs. "Err...that was drastically different than last time," said Tim.

Tim climbed up the stairs and walked through a few rooms until he came to one where a half dozen or so large, hexagonal platforms floated close together in mid-air. Tim jumped onto one, and two Lizalfoos came down from the ceiling. For those who don't know, they're six-foot tall lizards who stand on their feet and carry swords.

"We're gonna kill you, foo!" shouted a Lizalfoo.

Tim drew his sword as Compass said, "You probably will."

Tim tried to hit a Lizalfoo, but it dodged his sword, then tried to *vertically* slice Tim in half. Tim attempted to block it with his Mylian Shield, but it was too big and heavy and he couldn't see over it, so he just ducked down, using the shield to cover his back. Luckily, this tactic worked, and when the Lizalfoo struck the shield, it created a knockback. Tim used this to his advantage and swung his sword at the standing-up-lizard. The lizard fell back and off the platform.

"Take dat, Liza-Foo!" yelled Tim in a gangsta-like voice. Immediately after, the other Lizalfoo came out of no where and *almost* sliced Tim in half. Well, actually, he missed the platform and fell into the lava below.

Tim heard a chime play a jingle, and a chest fell from the ceiling and hit his head. "What the crow?" He tried to open the chest, but it was locked. So he lockpicked it. The chest came open and Tim reached inside. He couldn't actually see what was inside at first though, since there was some weird glowing bright light coming out of the chest for some reason.

Tim pulled out a bomb bag, and a message popped up onscreen saying, "You got a bomb bag! Now you can carry bombs! Make sure you bomb *anything* suspicious!"

Tim continued on through the dungeon and came to a bridge that at one point came very close to the giant Dodongo skull in the main room. That gave Tim and idea...

Tim jumped off the bridge and onto the skull. "The message said to bomb everything suspicious, so..." he dropped a bomb in each of the skull's eyes. A few seconds later, they blew up, and the mouth of the Dodongo skull dropped open, revealing a secret hallway to King Dodongo.

"Hey, why do you need a bomb bag to carry bombs, anyway?" asked Compass.

"Uh...duh, liek they'll bl0w up, OMG," answered Tim arrogantly.

"You didn't need a bomb bag in Link's Awakening and A Link to the Past," mumbled Compass.

Tim jumped off the skull's head, then looked inside the open mouth. There was a rug in a hallway in its mouth leading to a hole.

"What did that guy eat!?" said Tim.

"Well, whatever he did, it looked like it killed him," replied Compass.

Tim walked inside the mouth, across the rug, and stared down into the hole. He could see nothing. Tim dropped a bomb to see how far deep it went down. He didn't see it explode.

"Well, it must be safe," said Compass, and it flew into the hole. Tim followed without hesitating.

Tim landed in some sort of arena. There was flat land around a large pool of lava. Tim took one step forward and... KING DODONGO APPEARED!

He came down from the ceiling in a rolling position, apparently trying to squish Tim. He rolled over to him...slowly, and Tim ran.

After around a minute, the dodongo realized he couldn't hit Tim, and he stood in the normal, four-leg-stand-up position. Then he opened his mouth and sucked in.

"Wait, he had a pretty good attack and now he's substituting it with one that could kill him?" said Tim.

"Well, all bosses have RBS," said Compass.

"What's that?" asked Tim.

"Retard Boss Syndrome," replied Compass.

Anyway, Tim chucked a bomb in King Dodongo's mouth. For a few seconds, nothing happened, but then, King Dodongo complete exploded, as if he were made of pieces of paper. And the pieces of Dodongo paper landed in the lava, making it freeze for some reason.

"All right...so... how do we get out of here?" wondered Tim.

"Oh I'll just fly out, leaving you here to die," said Compass. But before Compass could leave, that glowing blue light appeared on the frozen lava.

"Is that...er... safe to walk on?" asked Tim.

"No," said Compass.

Tim stepped onto the solid lava, and it didn't crack. He took another step forward, and... a loud crack broke throughout all the lava-ice, parts breaking away, red magma seeping through. Tim immediately dashed for the blue light. Standing in it, he floated away.

Tim appeared at the entrance of the cave, where that Moron leader was waiting. "Thank you," said dat moron. "You become sworn brother. I give Moron Ruby."

The Moron gave Tim the Moron Ruby.


Chapter 3: Lava Lava

Coming down Moron Trail and leaving Makariko Village, Tim ran into that blue person who had an ocarina. "I'm Sheipah," she said.

"Sheepah?" questioned Tim.

"No. Shut up. Sheipah," said Sheipah. "Anyway, Selda told me to tell you that she told me to tell you that she wanted to tell you to journey up Sora River and ask for the Sora Saphire."

"Right," said Tim, and he followed the Sora River to go up a path that went somewhere. Along the way, he met a guy selling magical beans.

"Yo kid, wanna buys some beans," said some fat kid who was leaning against a fence, looking like he was sleeping.

As the magical song played in his head, Tim said, "Heck yes!"

Tim paid the small fee of ten rupees, but he couldn't have just one bean. He HAD to have more!

"20 rupees," said the fat kid.

Tim was angry. "It was just ten!" he yelled.

"Fine," said the kid. "Don't buy it."

"NO!" cried Tim. "I needs them!"

Tim paid again, and the next price was thirty rupees. He paid, but Tim only had thirty-nine rupees when the fat kid asked for forty. "It's okay," said the fat kid. "Just come back later."

As Tim walked away, he muttered, "Stupid wallet...holds only 99 rupees...laws of physics."

Tim walked up the river until he came to a waterfall. Tim noticed there was a pathway behind the waterfall and that it was the only way forward. However, the force the waterfall was exerting was too strong to - er, nevermind. Tim jumped right through it. Tim walked down the pathway behind the waterfall to enter Sora Domain.

Tim walked straight upstairs to the king-so-fat-couldn't-move. "Where's the Sora Saphire, Mr Keyblade King?" wondered the Timster.

"Ruto...Princess Ruto," squeaked the king.

"Naruto?" questioned Tim.

"No...Ruto...Lava Lava...belly," squeaked the king again. Then, millimeter by millimeter, the fat king moved to the left, revealing another pathway. Of course, it took nine sarcastic years for him to do so.

Then, when the king had moved all the way over, Tim walked past him and down a small hallway to exit Sora Domain. He came to a lake with a whale who looked half-dead, leaning over to land.

"Hmm... I'll bet anything that this fat whale ate Naruto," said Tim.

Tim took out some chicken wings and began to eat them. "Adventuring makes me hungry," said Tim.

Out of nowhere, the fat whale named Lava Lava gobbled up Tim and his wings. His tasty wings!

*****

Tim stood up in the belly of the whale Lava Lava. Ruto had to be in the enormously oversized belly somewhere.

Tim walked into a...room...that had holes in the...floors. Tim walked over to one to see how far it went down, and he accidentally fell in it. And there...was Ruto, standing completely still.

Tim looked around. He was apparently on the basement floor of the whale. "Um...hello? I'm right here!" shouted Ruto, spraying spit in Tim's ear.

"I know said Tim," said Tim. "That fat king sent me to save you so I could get the Sora Saphire."

"Liek, OMG! I've liek totally got one of thems!" said Ruto. She held it out. Tim snatched it and ran.

"Liek, omigosh, liek what're you doing?" said a confused Ruto, whose simple mind couldn't handle something complicated like stealing. Ruto chased after the shiny saphire (because it was shiny) until Tim got in the elevator and excluded Ruto.

"Why is there an elevator in a whale?" questioned Compass.

"Shut up, I'm trying to listen to the elevator music said Tim," said Tim.

Tim got out of the elevator, and he was in a room with a chest in it. Tim opened it and took out... a boomerang!

Tim wanted to test it out, so, seeing an octorock, Tim chucked his boomerang at it. It killed it, but... the boomerang didn't fly back into his hand.

Tim picked up the boomerang and chucked it at another octorock, and this time, the boomerang came back... "Yay!" shouted Tim... and it hit Tim in the face.

After eating his octorocks, Ruto arrived out of the elevator. "Liek, you totally stole my saphire. Om hy gosh!" she yelled.

"YeahI'mGonnaGoNow," said Tim, fleeing to another room. Ruto pursued.

"Liek aren't you gonna give it back?" asked Ruto. "Liek, I'll totally marry you if you do."

Tim ran behind a mound of [not earth] hardened whale gum and whispered to Compass, "She's crazy said Tim."

Tim heard heavy breathing and smelled smelly breath to his right. He turned his head slowly and saw... A HUGE OCTOROCK!

Tim ran, and the huge octorock chased round and round the mound of hardened whale gum. Eventually Tim figured out that he had a sword. "I have a sword!" shouted Tim. He stabbed the octorock, making it run the other way. Now Tim had the upper hand. He was chasing the octorock now!

Tim took out the boomerang while running and suddenly came to a halt. He put it away and chased after the octorock agian, then when he was close, took out his boomerang, coming to a halt again. "Why can't I throw while running?" wondered Tim. He chucked it at the octorock anyway.

The octorock was very vulnerable to the boomerang, and died. Tim caught his boomerang in a dramatic way, doing a backflip in the process.

"Wow! Liek, you totally saved me!" said Ruto, coming out of no where. "Now, liek, can I have that saphawhatever back, oh my gosh?"

Tim punched her and ran.

*****

After escaping the mouth when the whale was eating Wario, it was necessary for Tim to make his way through Sora Domain.

"You save Ruto?" asked the king as he passed.

"No, she got eaten," replied Tim.

Tim immediately left the king and journeyed out of Sora Domain. However, when he tried jumping into Sora River to easily flow down to Myrules Field, an octorock blocked the path. And this octorock was wearing boomerang-resistant armor.

The octorock shot a large ball of...stuff at Tim. Tim dodged it and tried considering his options. He had a sword and a shield. Hmm...

The octorock shot another ball of...stuff at him. Tim quickly took out his shield and reflected the ball of...stuff back at the octorock. It hit the octorock, making the octorock shrivel up and die and the ball to explode. You don't want to know what was inside that ball. Trust me.

Tim jumped in the river and floated down it all the way back to right next to Myrules Castle Town. He entered.

"Hmm... what do I do now?" wondered Tim.

"Hey!" shouted Compass. "You should sell mask!"

"Sell masks?" considered Tim. "Hahahano."

"Hey, Tim!" came a voice from behind. "I escaped from my stupid guards. But..."

Tim turned around to see Selda was suddenly grabbed by a guy who was riding a horse around Castle Town. The horse's path was clearly marked by trampled people.

"I'll spare you kid for now," said Canondork. "But later..."

"Tim, go to the Temple of Time!" shouted Selda.

Canondork covered Selda's mouth, and him and his horse trotted away.

Tim walked over to the temple in the background of the screen and entered it. Immediately, everything turned all white and Selda appeared out of it, which didn't make any sense since Canondork had kidnapped her.

"Dance the song of time," said Selda, and she played right (A), down right (A), down on the ocarina.

"Right," said Tim. The world suddenly appeared normal again and Tim was in a large hall with a big altar at the end. Tim walked up to it and the three special relics floated magically out of his pockets. "But...but... I don't believe in magic!" shouted Tim.

Now Tim only had to do one thing: dance the Song of Time.

Tim, however, danced the Macarena. Er...the door opened anyway.

Tim walked inside to see the Master Sword sitting in a pedastal.

"WAH!" shouted Tim. "Where's the Triforce! I want it!"

He settled with the sword anyway. Tim pulled the sword from the pedastal and disappeared into a blue light. And right after, a hatch came out of the Master Sword pedastal and the Triforce came out of it.

And unfortunately, Canondork came in the room at that moment. "Selda!" he called. "Where are you? I captured you and you ran away? And... oh my frog, the Triforce!"

Canondork walked over to the pedastal and stared at the Triforce.

"With this kind of power, I will be invincible!" yelled Canondork. "Hahahahhahahahaha!" Then he farted as he touched the Triforce. It split. He got the Power Triforce.


To be continued...