A Bird Day (10/15/03)


I screamed, "Help, help!!!" My voice grew smaller and smaller until all I heard was chirp, chirp. There was now blue hair all over my body. I could fly because now I had wings instead of hands.

I flew out an open window. I flew into a tree and onto a fall yellow leaf. It started to fall to the ground. I flew off of it. Soon I saw a flock of birds flying south. I did not want to join them, but my new bird brain was winning. I was traveling slow, but I was following the birds.

Inside my mind was like a World War III. The cannonballs were my very own brain cells! My mind was disappearing. I tried to scream, but all that came was "Chiiiirrrrppp."

There had to have been something I could do. Then I thought, how about falling asleep. I rushed down to the nearest land, thinking that my brain would disappear too early.

Trying to sleep in the light was hard compared to sleeping in the night. Actually, I thought it was impossible. Even if I did fall asleep, I would wake up in the night.

Soon I thought, *why can't I find a dark place to fall asleep in? How about a hole!* My mind raced to a tree. I investigated it. I could not find a hole.

But what is even worse is that my bird brain was following the birds.

I thought, *no, I do not want to be a bird*, "Help!!!!!" I could actually scream. My blue jay body was disappearing. *Oh no! I am in the air!*

I started to fall.


The Fall (10/24/03 - 10/27/03)

I was falling and I was not a bird now. I was human. But one thing was, I kept falling. I do not know how. It was weird. I do not know how I did it. It was magic.

I looked down. There was not much more to go. I gulped and whispered, "Five, four, three, two late." I went straight through the ground, and dirt was hitting me in the face. How would this end? Then it got colder. Soon, it was steaming flames. I was heading for the core of the Earth.

"Please no, please no," I whispered.

I started to rise.

I was glad that was over. I was soon back safely on Earth. The hole was not there. I also felt my skin having feathers growing. They were blue feathers. *Not again.*


Blue Jay Hunting (10/27/03 - 10/30/03)

Now that I was back to a bird, I would have a problem trusting my brain. The good news, my brain was normal. Bad news, I saw a hunter with a fur coat and a rifle. I was scared to death.

The hunter spotted me. "Herp," I chirped. This had to be the end. The hunter shot. The world changed to slow motion. I escaped easily.

"How did that bird...whatever."

I flew around, the world in slow motion. This was the life. The hunter shot another bullet, then another. But then he shot all his bullets at the same time.

I could not escape. I would disappear any moment now. And then I did. But this was not a good thing. I was a person again.

But the hunter did spot me. "Shoot him!" he yelled.


Human Hunting (10/30/03)

I ran away from that evil person. I tried to avoid him. "Wait," the hunter said, "wait, just a minute. That bird is like a vampire. Do not shoot him." His men put their weapons down. "Capture him!"

*They mean put me in a cage?* I got angry, and I actually turned into a bird. Not again. 

"Shoot the bird," yelled the hunter. Bullets fired, but I never got hit because of my slow motion.

*I wonder how I turn back into a human?* And the next thing I did was turn back into a human.

"Capture him! Now!" The men got out their nets. "Bigger nets, you fools," screamed the hunter. Instead they got a cage.

I ran, and the man took out what looked like a totally-kill bullet. He shot it. I turned into a bird. "Get him!" yelled the angry, evil man. The bullet chased after me.

I soon got a plan. I turned back into a human. I landed on the hunter. He was on the ground. The bullet came charging down. I rolled off the man. The bullet changed direction.

I ran back over to the just-getting-up hunter. Once he was about up, I changed into a bird. The bullet hit the evil hunter.


Human Bird (10/30/03 - 10/31/03)

After I knew I could change into a bird, I ran and flew everywhere. Also, I learned that I could talk to other birds. But most of the birds had flown south. I never would fly south. Just about everyday, I would practice flying fast. I sometimes raced cars to places, but the cars would usually win. 

So, on a nice day I saw those hunters in the woods. They were only taking orders from themselves because their leader was gone. They were shooting every bird they saw. If I stayed as a bird, I would go away for sure. 

Right behind me came a bird. "Fly, fly away," he said. I flew with the bird.

The hunters saw us flying away. "Get them," he muttered. The bullets were firing at me like crazy. I turned into a human. "Hey, he's the person who got our boss," a man said. They fired at me!

I turned into a bird and flew away. I hid in a tree and watched the hunters. "Did you get the human bird?" said the man who I thought was gone. "Wait, before you answer, I lived because that bullet only makes something fall asleep for three days."

"No, but that human bird is around here somewhere," said the men.

*Yeah, I like that. Human bird.*


The Race (10/31/03)

The leader was alive, and for some reason, he had an evil grin on his face. 

But I had my own problems. I had promised a bird that I would race in the annual bird race at three o'clock. I turned into a human again and looked at my watch. *Only five minutes!*

The next thing I knew, I saw a bird say, "Going to the annual bird race."

I went over to the bird and said, "I'll race you there. Ready, set, go!" 

I started to race, and I was fast! But I could see that the other bird was speeding. I tried hard to speed up, but my speed was not growing. I would not give up. *If this is difficult, imagine the annual race.* 

I looked at the bird I was racing. I noticed that his legs and wings were moving in a certain motion. I tried the motion. I moved faster and faster and faster and boom! A jet rocket speed. I beat the bird to the annual bird race.


The Annual Race (11/3/03 - 11/6/03)

I would say it was one minute until the race would start. I saw the bird I raced and said, "Ready to rumble again?"

"No."

Then I saw bad news and only bad news. I saw the hunters coming toward all the birds and I. "There's a mother load," said a hunter.

"Get them," muttered the leader.

This was bad. I knew those hunters would fire any moment now. I could imagine it. All those birds would be gone. I would think maybe two or three would get away, but I would think I was doomed.

"Go!" chirped a bird. So they went flying through the air like bullets. 

Speaking of bullets, the hunters had a car. "Hold the gas pedal," an evil man said. "I will get the weapons we need."

I zoomed up to try to warn the other birds, but they just gained more speed, because this is a race, right? The car was gaining speed to all the birds. Then I yelled to the closest bird, "There are hunters behind us." The bird looked back.

"Hey look," the leader said, "it's the bird who ruined our plans. Get him." The leader stuck his tongue out.

The hunters shot me. All the birds looked. I was not a bird anymore. I was a human falling a long distance. I turned back into a bird. 

"What happened?" a bird asked.

"Talk later, lose them now," I said.

The bullets fired at all the birds. *These are the predators of birds; what are the predators of humans?* 

"Well, I think I am," I whispered to myself. I barged into the leader's arm. I still had to save all the birds. I flew into all the bullets. Then, I was changing from human to bird to human to bird. The birds were saved. The hunter's car drove away.

I could not move because of all the bullets. A police car arrived. I heard them have a long conversation, and the hunters were arrested. The case was closed!


Jealous (11/6/03 - 11/10/03)

I finally began to move! I was in the air, and I was in the annual bird race. My regular hand was just about a bird hand now. I was back to a bird, and I got back into the race with only one bird in front of me. I saw the finish line coming up. I gained speed and passed the first place bird. I won the race.

"And this year," I heard a loud bird say, "there is a new champion." I got a trophy for winning. It was golden and on it said "First Place for Annual Bird Race".

After that, there was a huge party that I enjoyed. No one from the annual bird race (except for the winner) was allowed. 

After the party, the second place winner came in with a trophy that was small and silver. "You see this trophy?" he said. "It is horrible." He threw the silver trophy. "Do you want to know what happens when someone beats me?"

I shook my head. The angry bird showed his teeth. "I know you're jealous," I said, "but why can't you stop?"

"I am not jealous!" he responded. "I am too jealous!"

I flew away. "I will rematch you!" the jealous bird cried.

*What will happen? I know he has got to have something better than a rematch.* I flew back to my house and changed back to a human.

I looked out the window. I saw the jealous bird. When running outside, I changed into a bird. I flew over to the not-champion-anymore bird. "I followed you," he said.

"When is the rematch?"

"Annual bird race. Get ready for your doom." The bird grinned an evil grin and flew away.

*The clues: he said, "Get ready for your doom." The second clue: his evil grin. What is this bird going to do?*

I showed up, and I was wrong. "I got the whole race to race again," the bird said; still he had a grin.

"Go!!!" The race was wild! This time, the race was harder to keep up.

I saw the bird who challenged me. He said, "Pass those birds, and they will eat you. Hahahahaha!!! Those birds are trained to fly fast. They bite everything. I would have become one if it wasn't for you." I flew past the bird.

Soon, I came close with the first harmful bird. It was simple to pass. It showed its teeth, but I did not care. I saw the bird who wanted a rematch ride a jetpack toward me. "Two to go, he said. I ignored the bird and kept flying.

I realized that the first and second place birds were close together. I flew past the bird in second. My wing went into the bird's mouth! I brought it out just in time!

The bird in first was a bit tougher. When I passed the killer bird, it dropped its jaw right next to my head! The monster's jaw was rising at the speed of light. *What do I do now?* I had no time to pull my head out. Actually, it was stuck. Instead, I brought my full body in. I waited until the evil bird opened its mouth again. It happened about a minute later. I escaped! I charged away from the bird. It kept on my tail.

Flying, I saw the jealous bird. "No, you can't win!" The finish line was straight ahead. "Nooooooooooooooo!" the jealous bird yelled.

I won the race! A voice screamed, "Winner!" I was happy.

The jealous bird questioned me, "How could you win? Well, I do not care how you won. I am going to destroy you right now!"

"Fellow bird," I said. "You should not hurt me. You can do anything if you put your heart to it."

"I will attack you if you say another one of your comments."

"You will be accomplishing nothing," I said. "Hey, jealous bird - what is *that*?"

"Where?"

I had my escape. I flew away, and when the coast was clear, I turned into a human.

I wondered if I would ever see that jealous bird again. I wished I would not, but anything could happen.


He's Back (11/10/03 - 12/3/03)

I learned there were many bird competitions. I now decided to enter a water one.

"We will now start to learn the basics. Swim across the bird bath, and the winner will have congrats."

Then I heard a bird in the crowd say, "What a breathtaker. Don't you get it?"

"No, I don't," said the main bird. "You are off the team. Go swim now, you birds!"

Every single bird had a rapid swim that went super fast. I knew there was no way I could win. I could not believe it. I was losing the race. Before I knew it, I lost the race. I got a "Loser" medal for losing.

I started flying around, and I encountered an old foe. "We meet again," the enemy smiled. "I see that you understand how I felt when I lost to you. You know, I could help you gain the skills to victory. By the way, my name is Jake."

With that, the bird grabbed my wing and flew away. The bird brought me to a place that looked like a lab. "Lay down right here," Jake said. "Anyhow, well...I am wanting to know what your name-" 

"Joey," I interrupted. 

I got onto the tiny experiment bed. "Now, before he gets up!!!" Blue lightning fell down on me. "Silly human," said an experiment bird, "we have now made you a permanent bird with a big body, so you can't win races."

I started to fight to get off the table, but I was held down. I then thought because I was huge, I could not lift myself up, but maybe I could fly. My strength flew away as I broke through the robot hand. I flew away.

The bird was calling, "Fly away, you are useless." I knew these were just mean comments.

Although I knew I could not turn back into a human, I tried anyway. What I got was a terrible mess. I fell to the ground. My eyes started to pop out. The next thing I knew, I was an out-of-control-huge bird.

I started to fly higher up, and I popped into a smaller bird that was the same as after I went to the bird lab. 

I went back to the water. I moved slower than ever. I grew a huge body. I started to try to fly fast. Pow! I struck lightning on this. When I stopped, I was back to normal.

Well, not exactly normal. I still could not turn into a human. I tried again, and I turned into a monster. I could not control myself. I headed toward a bird. I got closer and closer until...surprise! I bursted out of my beast bird and flew away. I turned back into a human. 

Time for payback. I went back to the bird lab and saw Jake.

"You did break bodies," he said. "It is time to take it up a notch."

I said, "Bring it on."

Jake grabbed me and put me in a machine. He turned on the machine. I turned into a human, and the machine gave me muscles. I broke the machine.

"Now I am mad," I said. I lifted Jake up and threw him. The other birds were shivering with fear. "Who's next?" I said.

Jake looked up and said, "I'm sorry, I have to do this." Jake pressed a button on the lab wall. Everything went black.

What was happening? I was scared. I closed my eyes. Darkness was taking over. Then, the darkness cleared up. Was that a success for my enemies?

"No, a failure," I heard an experiment bird cry out.

I was alive. I picked up Jake again. "You're going to pay," I said.

I threw Jake at a potion. Blue stuff flew from him. "My potions!" screamed a bird.

"So what, I do not care," I said. "You know what you did to me. Now I want to say, it's payback time." I picked up Jake again. "What's your real name?"

Jake yelled, "Okay, it's experiment bird fifteen thousand, one-hundred sixty-eight! But you know what, I am going to destroy you!"

The experiment bird became a huge bird. "Time for you doom," it said. The bird looked different because its fur was not straight, and it had spikes on its wing.

"You know, I think this whole place is voice-active," I said. "So if I say, self-destruct in ten seconds, well, here's my ride."

I rode myself out of the lab. It exploded. I won. *Yes! Finally I have gotten rid of that evil bird!*


How I Became a Human Bird (12/5/03 - 12/11/03) [Prequel]

I was climbing up a tree, and when I got to the top, I saw a bird's nest. I saw four birds in the tree and three eggs. I saw a bird leave the tree. I assumed it was the mother bird.

I looked at the eggs. One was cracked. Then, all of a sudden, suddenly a bird's foot came out of the egg, grabbed the worms the mother bird left, and went back into its egg. *What just happened?* Then I heard the mother bird's chirp. I leaped five feet.

Once the mother bird left, I climbed back up the tree and picked up the cracked egg. The top of the egg popped off. Then the mother bird returned to the tree. I put the egg down. I was about to jump, when - too late. The bird hit me in the arm. I fell four inches and four feet. I grabbed onto a branch, and it broke. I fell another inch.

The mother bird returned to the tree. Suddenly, it just fell out. I climbed the tree. The last thing I remembered was the eyes of the bird. I had fallen out the tree.


Out of Bird (12/11/03 - 1/21/04)

I was flying around, and all of a sudden, I saw the experiment bird! It said, "I am the ghost of Jake."

My wing went right through the bird. I said, "Ha!"

The bird said, "I am glad you don't like birds."

Then I turned into a human. *What is happening? That ghost bird will pay!* I yelled, "You're just air!" I let wind come out of my mouth. The bird disappeared.

I was human, and I could not turn into a bird. I was normal again. A regular human. I was out of bird. I had to do something. But what was there to do?

There was no time to think. The hunters bursted from the trees. "We come in peace," said the leader. "All we want to see is you become a bird."

I responded, "I can't."

The leader questioned, "Why not?"

I answered, "Because a ghost bird named Jake did something to me that caused me to have no way of becoming a bird. Face it, I'm out of bird."

The leader said, "Likely story." He caged me. He caged me for telling the truth. "Turn into a bird, and maybe you can go free," the leader repeated.

I could not turn back into a bird. I stuck a finger through a hole in the cage. I curled it. I took the same finger from the other hand and stuck it through a hole in the cage.

"What are you doing?" said the leader. He opened the cage, and I raced out.

I started to run. There was a puddle on the ground. I looked at my reflection. I looked like a monster. Then I actually turned into one! I looked like a fierce pig.

I saw the hunters come toward me. I rammed into them.

*I need to find that ghost bird.* I started to run, and all of a sudden, everything went black. But then, I saw a light. I started to crawl toward it.

*What is this gooey stuff?* I figured it out when the pig monster spit me out! *That was sick!*

I saw the ghost bird appear again. He exclaimed, "Yes! Yes! You were right on schedule."

I yelled at him, "Did you read the end?"

"No," said the spirit bird.

I yelled, "You should! The end will be your end." I jumped and grabbed the ghost.

"Silly human," it said, "equals nasty little brat."

I carried the bird back to the pig monster. I said, "I'll challenge you to a third race, or else fierce pig will have a good lunch."

The bird said, "In what? Flying? You can't fly. I'm not changing you back. It's impossible."

"Why not?" I muttered, holding the bird closer to the pig.

I let the bird go. "You're a fool," yelled the bird.

"I thought you were a ghost," I said. "It wouldn't matter. You could have escaped from my hand easily. You're a ghost, right?"

The bird said, "Not when I'm captured."

I snatched the spirit bird. "Fine," it said, "I'll have a third race. But if I win, you need to change me back to a regular bird."

"Be at the spot where the annual bird race took place," I said. I left the bird stranded in the woods.

The next day, I arrived at the place where the annual bird race took place. The spirit bird was there. He said, "I've been waiting since twelve o'clock. You did not tell me what time."

The spirit bird changed me into a bird. "If you lose," the ghost bird said, "you will never be human again. You will be out of bird changing."

I yelled to the bird, "One...two...three go." I was flying through the air again. I kept in the race. I could not lose. If I lost, I would have to change the ghost bird back to a regular bird. Plus, I would never be human again. I could imagine it. It was horrible.

I saw the spirit bird to my right, but it disappeared! A cheater! If the bird cheated, it would be very unlikely for me to win. I had a ten percent chance. *At least it's not one percent.*

I could imagine him crossing the finish line. I would be watching him win while I lost. I could imagine being only a bird forever. So I yelled, "I forfeit!" I fell to the ground as a human.

The spirit bird appeared right in front of me and said, "You think I'm just gonna let you be free as a human bird while I am spirit? I did not want to use this, but I am afraid I have no choice." The spirit changed me into a human.

The ghost said, "You are a human bird. Change me into a regular bird by midnight and you will be free. If not, you will have a curse forever."

"Wait," I said, "is there a bird library on this?"

The bird responded, "Biggest tree in your backyard. First hole from bottom to top."

I knew where that was. But I could not believe it was in my backyard! I flew to the tree that was the biggest. *Wait! Backyard. Not front yard.* I flew to the backyard. I saw a pretty big tree...with a hole! I flew inside, and sure enough, there was a library.

"Welcome," said a voice.

I said back, "Do you have a book of spells?" A book fell in front of me. It was called "Bird Spells".

I looked through the book. When I came to a page that said, "Spirit to Regular", I stopped. I read it. It said to say, "Spirits, switch my soul around with (name)."

*What was his name? Not Jake. Yes! It was experiment bird fifteen thousand, one-hundred sixty-eight.* I started reading the book. "Spirits, switch my soul around with experiment bird fifteen thousand, one-hundred sixty-eight, A.K.A. Jake." I saw the experiment bird come into the library as a regular bird.


Magical Bird (1/22/04) [Prequel]

I fell out of a tree...and slept for an hour. When I woke up, a bird was in front of me. "I am a magical bird," it said. "Do not follow me."

*He's saying that because he does not want me to follow him. But I will figure out what he's hiding.*

I got up and started to follow the bird. I followed it to a cave. Inside the cave, I saw a leader bird. It said to the bird I followed, "Good work. Who did you give the powers to?"

The bird I followed said, "Some kid named Joey Muller." *That was my name.* 

I had no time to think because then the leader bird saw me. He said, "Do not worry. I am taking you to your house."

As he put me in my bed, the leader said, "Now you are a bird."


Spirit (1/23/04 - 3/5/04)

The experiment bird said to me, "Ha, you are now a spirit!" I was tricked. I read farther. It said a spirit cannot make a spell.

I threw the book at the bird. "Owwwwwwwwww!!!!!!" he screamed. "You will pay! You will pay. Now I will find my cell phone."

*Birds have a cell phone too. Is it a new invention? Or was it invented back in the eighteenth century?* That was not important. I looked at myself. I was hard. But was that important? *No way! That is way not important! Why am I writing about this anyway?*

Oh yeah, I disappeared after that. But where was I found? Not in the living world. I was in the living-dead world.

I saw one guy with a floating head. He had an ear and a hand chopped off too. I saw another guy with two hooks and was split in half until his neck ended. Well, a little bit farther. Then, I saw a guy with a floating body with an axe in his head. A floating body, get it? It was scary.

I just could not believe it. This place was true horror. *How do I get out of here?*

I walked up to the guy with a floating head. I asked him, "How do I get out of here?"

"This place?" he wondered. "I don't think you can." His head shifted to the left and fell to the ground. "Oops, dropped it." As he dropped to the ground to pick it up, I quickly sprinted away. *That guy is freaky.*

I raced over to the two hooks guy with his head split open. Opening both halves at the same time, the two hooks man said, "Back off, I've got hooks." He swung one at me. Fortunately, I was a spirit so the hook went right through me.

At that very moment, an earthquake started up. A cold voice echoed back. "Welcome. First I need to ask of your name."

The hook man asked, "Why?"

The cold voice yelled, "Silence!! Throw him into the pit."

A loud roar echoed up first. Then, fire burst through the hole like lava coming out of a volcano. The fire was actually a hand. The hand had six fingers with smoke on top of each one.

The cold voice asked, "Anyone else?"

The man with the floating head replied, "No."

The earth closed in on the hand. The whole hand fell back except for one finger. It revealed a face. The mouth opened and said, "I'll be waiting." The hand disappeared in the earthquake. The earthquake disappeared.

The man with the floating head ran up to me. "That was scary," he said. "I just realized something. How did you just talk to me?"

For the first time, I realized I could talk to humans while in my bird form. I also realized I could talk to birds while I was human.

"Are you really dead?" the floating guy asked.

"No," I answered. "Even though I am a spirit, it was put on me by a spell. I put it on myself by accident."

I looked down to realize the floating head guy had his legs cut off. I realized he was floating. Then a shark with two hooks coming out on each side appeared. Inside the shark's mouth was a split open head. The guy with the split open head burst out. "Since I can't hurt you," he said, "I'll help you."

I asked, "How do I get out of here?"

He replied, "Easily. All you have to do is make someone alive come here and pull you out, and you're free to come and go as you please."

"How do I make someone come here?"

The two hook man replied, "Scream a name."

I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Experiment bird fifteen-thousand one-hundred sixty-eight!"

The bird appeared right in front of me. "So you figured it out," he said. "I should have never told you my name. I should have been J-A-K-E. Jammed and kept endangered.

"Okay," I said, "you got me out of here, so I'll give you..." I thought hard. "A camera."

I watched the other bird wonder, "A camera? I want you to - yes, now give me it."

Above my head, a camera formed. The experiment bird grabbed it. He took a picture of me.

As he started to walk away from me, he cried, "Exit!!!" The spirit world started to shake. Then an exit door appeared. I zipped through it. Finally, I was out in the world again.

"Okay," I said to the bird, "now what?"

The bird said, "My friend will take care of you. Experiment bird fifteen thousand, one-hundred sixty-seven, get here quick!!!!!" He screamed again, "Get here quick!!! Or else!!! Ooorrrr else!!!"

A bird came about in front of me. "Hey, Jake, what's happened to your leg?"

Jake replied, "That bird, Joey, well... sort of... well... he got away."

I said, "I am a spirit now. He's the one who got away."

Jake said, "Mike, listen, you take care of him."

Mike took me toward the sky. I dropped down seconds later. He whispered, "I'm not going to be mean to you. He's always mean. Actually, I'm the only nice experiment bird. But if I say that, I'll be doomed."

I asked, "Then why are you good friends with that bird?"

"Oh yeah, about that. He forced me to," said the bird.

The bird grabbed my wing. I felt like I could not hold on anymore. The wind was pushing my hand back. No, I was getting held back. I changed into a human. I fell from the wing. The fall was as if I was floating in space. I did not hit the ground. Little did I realize, I was floating.

How? I don't know. When did I fall? About a minute later. How long did I fall for? Half a second. Where did I land? Owwwwwww!!! Dust was all around me. I made a two foot deep hole. 

I changed into a bird and flew out. Mike stood in front of the hole. I said to him, "What would your friend do?"

The bird grabbed me. Somehow - about a minute later - I was dangling atop a can with acid in it. There was only one thing I could do. Escape.

I turned my head. The machine holding me read "Spirit Toucher". That explained something. I lifted my legs as a bird. I could not reach a loose section of the Spirit Toucher. I urged to try again. I squirmed my body far back. 

*Wait, legs are longer when one is human. It is a risk, but it is my only hope.* I changed to human. Lifting my legs back, I touched the weak spot. The machine started to collapse. I was surprised. The element of surprise had hit me. I changed into a bird as fast as a car going at its top speed. I flew away, avoiding the Spirit Toucher's parts.

Finally, I was free. I was still a spirit, but I was free. Then all of a sudden, suddenly, the element of surprise hit me. It was a good thing. It was magic. It was what changed me into a spirit. Now it was going to change me back. As it passed, it said, "Now that you have proven yourself worthy, you are not a spirit anymore. You are you."

Still, I had worries about Jake, the evil experiment bird.


Experiment Birds (3/5/04 - 3/23/04)

Bird Center of Evil:

"We shall take over the world!" Bird Leader the Sixth exclaimed. "This will be a triumphic moment for us birds. We shall finally be recognized! We will be invincible! Unstoppable! We will have triumph!"

Jake rushed into the building. "Wait! This bird is in the way. This bird is Joey." He held the photo up so everyone could see.

"Get him!" yelled the bird leader. The birds scurried off.

"Well then Jake," he said, "tell me if you know where this bird is."

Jake replied, "He was just a spirit. With my locator, I can find Joey Muller. Aha! I mean, uh-oh. This is bad. He's in the library. He has just picked up the book 'Bird Spells'."

*****

The Library:

"Well," I said. "Here's my revenge. It says... what the." It said a strange language. "R to upside down. Squished J to J. Big J."

At that moment, a force field of light emerged from the book. "Say name of cursed guy that you want to be spirit," a cold voice said.

I answered, "Experiment birds... uh..."

The voice replied, "Okay. All experiment birds."

"Wait!" I yelled. "I only wanted experiment bird fifteen thousand, one-hundred sixty-eight."

"Oh, whatever," the voice called. "I'll just get the leader."

And like that, the thing left. Actually, the thing is crazy. It couldn't fly by itself, so it grabbed me and took off. While I was flying, I felt like I would explode. At the end of the flight, I did. 

The thing started to glide down to a slide, then crashed into the bird leader. The bird screamed, "You crazy bird! I will... I will... I say I will get you! Wait. What do I have here?" The leader looked over to my broken up body. "It looks like that bird took a spill," the bird laughed.

The leader took out a radio. "Calling all birds," he reported. "Hurry, get to the Center of Evil. The bird we're looking for has been spotted."

At that moment, a huge crowd blasted through the door. After that, magic piled around the place, searching for something to heal.

"Mad in kept endangered," the leader cried, "what would your friend do?"

I was feeling magic touch me. I healed. Mike grabbed me. I threw him off my hand and out the door.

The leader said, "Fifteen thousand, one-hundred sixty-seven to go." *How was I going to defeat all those birds?*

"You are crazy," laughed a bird. "You think you can beat all of us? Right. I bet you can't even beat our leader. Wait. I can't beat him either. Uhhhhhhhhhhh! You sick person!"

I turned to the leader, who said, "You, bird, you're in big trouble. Plus, you are done for."

I flew into the air. I said, "You are wrong." I changed to a human. I dropped next to a bird. "You almost forgot, I'm a human bird," I announced. I took on bird and threw him on another bird, and that bird toppled down, toppling everyone down like dominoes.

The leader cried, "Noooooo!!! You bird, you're done for."

"Human bird," I corrected.

The leader charged at me. It did not care that it stepped on all the birds. I had just remembered the leader was a spirit. The bird sprouted electrical sparks. He said, "You forgot powers of spirits."

*****

The Library:

The "Bird Spells" book at the library was jumping up and down. Out came a blue thing. "To get the human bird," it said. "A.K.A. Joey. A.K.A. Jammed on endangered yogurt." It took off.

Flying high, flying low, it made it to the Bird Center of Evil. It broke through the door. The leader was about to strike me with the sparks. The blue thing turned me into a spirit. It was time to defend.

I searched for the strength in my body to find sparks. Sure enough, sparks flew from me. I defended me. I turned into a bird. I started to fly. 

I stopped defending. A spark flew from the leader. It went right through me. "Weird," I muttered. "That must mean I defended for nothing."

I flew out the door.

*****

Spirit World:

The birds were all lined up in the spirit world. "Bird leader!!!" the birds called, but nothing happened.

One screamed, "Human bird, A.K.A. Joey A.K.A. Jammed on endangered yogurt." I appeared there, with blue sparks coming out of me.

Blue sparks hit a bird. "I'm alive," it screamed. "Exit!" An exit appeared. The birds rushed out. I followed them.

One bird had blue sparks too. They fell on every bird. They turned to regular. They all took off. I followed.

A bird looked back. "It's Jammed on endangered yogurt," he screamed. "A.K.A. he's not frozen yogurt."

I turned into a human. "Uh-oh," I said. I was falling long. I kept falling... and falling... and Kaboom! A huge dust storm was happening. I had to have sunk about twenty feet into the ground. I had to at least have sunken twenty feet into the ground. The dust ended.

I looked up. Sunlight was far away. "Oh-no," my voice echoed. I stomped my foot. The ground filled with cracks. Dust appeared again. *Oh no. No way. Not again.* I fell through the ground. It started to get more hot. *At this rate, I'll never stop.* And I never did. The end.

Notttttttttttt!

I landed flat to the ground. Cracks sprouted. I grabbed a... well... a wall. The dirt fell under my feet. They disappeared into... into... into the... the... the core of the Earth! Mohohahahahaaaa!

I was sweating. How was I going to get away? *The only way I can get away is by flying! Wait a minute, I can fly.*

I turned into a bird and flew up. And out. *Yes! I am saved!* That was not much of a problem.

Then, I flew toward the Bird Center of Evil.

*****

Bird Center of Evil:

The experiment birds just returned to the Center of Evil. "Get Jammed on endangered yogurt!" they screamed. One bird yelled, "A.K.A. he's no frozen!"

I rushed through the doors. "I would like to have a face-off with the bird leader."

The leader of the pack nodded his head. "Make a hallway." They all flew away. "That's better," the bird leader said.

I remembered something in the "Bird Spells" book. "H.b. a dog on hot. Beat the chicken on the cot." The "Bird Spells" book appeared behind me where I did not see it.

Then I said, "Come back, experiments." They came back. "I bite." I opened my mouth.

A bird said, "You don't have teeth." I turned to human with my mouth open. The same bird said, "A human with a beak." Sure enough, I had a beak. I turned back to a bird.

Now I realized "Birds Spells" was in front of me. I took the book. I flipped the pages. It was no use. It was no use until I saw page fifteen-thousand, stop looking in the book, you are obviously never going to find your spell. The book was wrong.

On the page was "disappear the people in groups" spell. I took a good look at it. "'Failures in the bathtub'," I read, "'are going to have a rub. Twelve buildings equal a sequel. So drop to the ground and look around because it was old and cold so beat the cheat and keeping sweeping.' I do not want the bird leader and the experiment birds."

They somehow just disappeared. The room went up with smoke. Then I disappeared.

*****

Some magical cave:

"Joey," a voice said. "Wake up."

I looked at the voice. "Hey," I said. "You have the same voice as the guy who changed me into a human bird."

"I'm the king!" he yelled. "And you are getting stupid. You have to give up your powers."

"Fine," I snickered. "I'll do as you tell me to."

The thing grabbed thin air and pulled. I felt a pain realizing he was pulling me apart. As I found I was back together as a human, the thing said, "Leave and never come back."

I had to obey. I always remembered how he took my powers away... or at least he thought he did.

"It's only a matter of time now," I said. That was the problem.


The World is Taken: Part Two of Human Bird (3/24/04)

I walked out of a cave. Do you want to know who I am? I was a human bird. But the powers were just taken from me. They are crazy. Why do they do this? I do not know. But I set off.

A few days later, I took a look outside my home. "What the? It's all gone!" The whole thing was gone. I ran outside. "Who did this?"

Then, in the sky I saw something. It came closer, until it was in front of me. It had to be a nightmare. Standing in front of me was my enemy, experiment bird fifteen thousand, one-hundred sixty-eight.

"Jake, you did this?" I looked around at the burnt trees, homes on fire, and the rest of the dark world.

"Did it in a night's work," said Jake. "After I disappeared, I went to a magical cave. They said they were going to turn one bird into a human, but it did not work, or at least, now I know I am a human bird. You know, I learned another fact." The bird turned into a human to finish his words. "You are experiment bird fifteen thousand one-hundred sixty-nine. Jammed on endangered yogurt! He's not frozen yogurt! So please, join us."

I took no time to hesitate. "Join you, I want to destroy you! Never!"

The bird turned into a... bird. "I'll destroy you first!" he yelled. "First we tortured Earth, then we destroy it!" He laughed. "Earth is gone. Mohohahahahahahaaaaa!"

I said back to him, "Not if I can help it!"

The bird flew away. I had not only listened to him, but I listened to him closely. He said, 'They said they would turn me human, but it did not work.'

I turned into a bird. Easy. "Now it's time to save the world," I said. But I sat back in the world.


The Leader of the Pack (3/26/04 - 4/30/04)

Setting off, I found some bad sights. Earthquakes were starting. They would sink everything, including houses, people, trees, gardens, animals, grass, and much more. I thought maybe Jake got swallowed by an earthquake, but I already knew birds fly and stay in the air.  But what if he somehow fell into the pit? I could picture him falling forever, helplessly chirping. But I knew that could never happen.

Nor is he stupid. I would be surprised if he did blow up the Earth. He has the power to do it, but I will stop him.

So, when I arrived at the Bird Center of Evil, I did not see Jake. Instead I saw the leader. It was the leader of the pack. I approached him from the back, and I was close to defeating the leader of the pack. What happened? He grabbed me and threw me toward the ceiling. I blasted through it. Then, everything went black.

Then, after two or three, or four, or five, or six, or seven or eight, or nine, or ten, or eleven, or... fifteen seconds, I woke up. "A little less conversation, a little bit more action. A little less conversation, a little more action." I was in my bed. That was the sound of my alarm clock. I turned it off. It was seven o'clock.

The only thing missing was...me! I was a bird! *Wait, that's a good thing.* The bad thing was that when I looked outside, the world was filled with a purple gas. It was a trap. I would be poisoned if I went out the window. So I opened the door to my room to find fire! What was going to happen next?

I soon found out. My room started to collapse. I would be stuck if everything else collapsed too. I changed to a human. *I know exactly what to do! I once saw a guy run through fire.* I charged for the fire. A few seconds later, I ended up in the spirit world. 

I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Center of EVIL!!!!!!!!!" That is where I made a huge mistake, yet so tiny. It worked, so I disappeared. All I did was forget the word "Bird".

Then, I heard a voice. "Sixty-nine, so glad you could join me to destroy the world." It was the leader. "I am the leader of the pack. Too bad you ended up in the Center of Evil."


Center of Evil (5/6/04 - 5/18/04)

Suddenly, I dropped. Adead of me were the hunters. "Not you again," the leader hunter muttered. "My name is Cutter. My boys' names are Yo-Dog, Dog-Dog, Dog-Yo, Yo-Yo, Yo, and just plain Dog."

"So Cutter," I said, "back from jail al-"

"None of your jewels...I mean beeswax. Now if you excuse me, I have a world to conquer. Mohohahahaha!"

I grabbed Cutter. "Where am I?"

He said back, "Center of Evil; where else?"

Then, out of nowhere, I asked, "Where are the jewels?"

Cutter nearly exploded. "Jewels! Ha! You'll never find 'em! Never! And if I see you with my loot, you'll be sorry! Come boys, I know a huge bank."

*Jewels, that must be how they will manage to conquer the world.* I thought back from Crash Bandicoot. He collected crystals before the bad guys did. I knew I had to get crystals, um, jewels.

But first, to get out of this place. Then I thought, *I need to find the jewels in here, first.* Still, I need one more thing. *How many jewels is enough to conquer?*

I started searching for some kind of machine. That is when I found the mother load. "Ow!" I exclaimed. I hit my head on a bag. I looked inside it. Nothing was inside it...except jewels. That must have been why there was a big J on the bag. 

I counted the jewels. "Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty." I groaned and put my head on the bag. "Ow! That's sharp!"

I got up and started looking around again. On the floor, I noticed a booklet. It said "Jewels" and had a picture of a jewel on it. I opened the booklet. I decided I had to read it. I skipped the table of contents and went straight to the introduction:

"Jewels have a great value. But one crime puzzled us all. Who stole fifty jewels from the Jewel Center? One claimed his name as Cutter, but that must have been his nickname. The mystery still has not been solved. Luckily, they cannot conquer the world yet. They still need fifty more jewels."

I knew what they were up to. I had to stop them. I ran back to the bag. A machine with fifty jewels in it was there instead of the bag. I could not take them out. My adventure would start soon. But first, I had to get out of here. 

I kicked the sand. A hole formed, and a cyclops came out. "Get out of here. Fast." That was all he said. He dove back into the hole. Ceiling broke loose and covered it. I kicked the hole again. The cyclops said, "Come in. Fast." I went inside.

As soon as I went in, I had to get out. Too bad the hole was covered. I saw another door. I opened it. I was out. "Thank you," the door said.


Journey for Jewels (5/19/04 - 5/20/04)

Where to start? The question was scary. Lucky for me, I was smart. Also, they did not take the hovercraft. They took the car!

I got inside the hovercraft. I followed the car tracks. They led to a small village. I looked down. The car tracks suddenly came to a stop. I noticed cracks in the ground. I touched one. The ground fell in. I was sucked into the whole hole.

"How do I stop this?" I wondered. Then I stopped. In front of me was an underground railroad! Then I jumped out of my hovercraft. It started to fall farther down. I jumped down with it. I climbed on it.

Suddenly, the railroad appeared again. But this time, there was a train! The driver was headless and armless. I flew the hovercraft up. The train track flew up too. I jumped out of the vehicle. The hovercraft started to fall. "Aaaaaaaah!" I screamed as I fell too.

Nails stuck out of the walls. The walls got narrower and narrower. *No! No! Please!* The hovercraft followed the path perfectly. I watched as it hovered between the nails. I spotted an opening at the bottom of the nail pit. I grabbed hold of a nail. "Ow!" I said as I let go. 

I glided through the tunnel. It was easy. Then it got harder. At the end were twists and turns. It was hard, but finally I was in. I was in a huge room with closing walls. I grabbed the hovercraft. A long nail stuck out of the wall. I landed on it. There was a door. I opened it. A huge nail shot out. I leaped away. 

The driver of the train came out, headless and all. There was a big lump in his chest. A faint sound came from it. "Your second challenge." He created arms from his chest. "Defeat me!"

I thought for a second. *This guy would be in the spirit world, unless...* I grabbed the shirt. The headless man pushed me back. "Never will you get your hands on me," he said. The headless man started walking. I grabbed his legs. He tripped. I pulled off the shirt. Under it was a regular... I mean, Cutter! He disappeared.

A door appeared. It said, "Go through me toward challenge three." I opened the door. I was expecting a train to charge toward me, but a train did not. It was a broomstick! 

A man grabbed the hovercraft. He yelled into a microphone, "Our seeker for Quidditch today is Joey Muller!" *How did they know my name?*

I started to fly. *Simple.* The quaffle flew in the air, and I took off on the broomstick. It was so slow. I spied the snitch. It was a foot away! I read the engraving in the broomstick. "Slow 04". No help there. I jumped off the broomstick. If the bludger did not push me away, I would have caught the snitch. I held onto the bludger. It was heading toward the other team's seeker. The seeker almost had the snitch. I jumped off the bludger and grabbed the snitch!

I started falling. If I changed into a bird, I would lose the snitch. Then I started to fly. I was sitting in the hovercraft. The snitch was not in my hand anymore! I was alive!

The hovercraft came to a stop. In front of me was Cutter. "This is the center of the world," he announced. "And I am your worst nightmare." 

He grabbed his chin. He started to pull his face off. Under it was a red chin. A long red chin. Those of you who said it was the Crimson Chin, you are wrong. The red things were not his chin. They outstretched farther, higher to his head. It was not the antennas. It was the horns. His whole face was red. He was the devil! 

Behind him were the jewels. Time to run!


Escape from Satin (5/20/04 - 5/26/04)

I had to make a run for the jewels. Cutter's men took off their masks. Demons. I kept running. Then fire appeared around the jewels. Then I thought, *If I destroy a jewel, they cannot conquer.*

I turned into a bird. I flew straight through the fire! I was on fire! It was all part of my plan (even though the pain as melting me). I flew onto a crystal. It started to have flame inside it. "What the?" I said. The crystal started to melt.

"Stop him before it's too late," ordered Cutter, who was really Satin, or the devil. The demons soared into the fire. I held the almost liquid crystal in my beak. I either had to wait for it to change to a gas or gulp it down. The demons were getting closer. I had to choose fast. There was only one thing to do. Drink. 

Or... I spit the crystal through the fire right at Satin. It bounced off his stomach. "Ow!" cried Cutter. It was coming right back at me. I dodged it, barely.

It hit the other crystals. They all started to burn. "No," cried Satin. I started to fly over the fire. Then I flew straight up. Satin got out his pitchfork. "No way," he said.

Then a big wind started to suck me back. I would not go. Then it got my bird soul. I turned into a human. I started to fall. I landed in the hovercraft. 

"Hurry," the devil ordered. "Take care of the crystals." He paused. "I'll take care of him." He pointed the pitchfork at me. The demons disappeared. 

I started up the hovercraft. "You're not going anywhere," Cutter whispered. He popped the hovercraft with his pitchfork. "You're staying with me."

I grabbed the pitchfork. "You may have popped the hovercraft, but you will never pop me." I rose the pitchfork up high. Suddenly, the hovercraft reconstructed itself. It was like special effects in a movie, but this was real! I dropped the pitchfork. "Sa' long."

I flew the hovercraft up, up, and away. I flew through test one. "Ow!" I panicked as I hit a nail. I propelled higher and higher. 

Then Cutter appeared. "You can't escape me!" He popped the hovercraft. "Never!"

I started to fall. Then I stopped. I was somehow floating! I opened my eyes. I wasn't floating. I was hanging from a nail!

Satin threw his pitchfork at the hovercraft. It was flaming fire. I jumped off the hovercraft. When I was about to take my hand off, the pitchfork hit. I felt a spark jump through my body. Something strange was going on. I never took my hand off. I lifted myself back into the hovercraft. It unleashed itself to go down.

Even though the hovercraft went down, I did not. I was a bird. I started flying up. I was not going to stop. When I was out of test one, I kept flying up.

I was up to the train tracks. The headless man was in it. But that could not be Cutter. I flew up to him. It had the lump. But the lump was a disconnected head and two disconnected arms! The arms began to move. It put on its head! He had a black line across his head, his hair was a horn, and his eyes were on the top and the bottom of his head. His head looked like ice cream.

I flew higher and higher. No, this is fantasy. It has to be. "I've got you now!" said a voice. *This is a dream.* Everything went black. 

"Wake up, bonehead," muttered a voice. I opened my eyes. I was tied to a chair! This was the end of the line. I saw the train coming closer and closer and closer. I was done for. 

Why? Why? *Hey, my feet touch the ground.* I got up and started running. Little did I know, the chair would save my life. I turned into a bird. I was still locked to the chair. I kept flying up until I saw cracks. I flew up, and I was out. I turned into a human. Immediately, the rope burst. 

Satin appeared. "You're not getting away." He pointed the pitchfork at me. Fire was coming toward me. I urgently took a quick search of what to block with. The chair! I stomped my foot on it. It flung into the air, and I caught it. I put the chair in front of me. The fire hit it. Creakkkkackk! The chair flung forward and hit Satin. The chair burst into pieces. Satin was stuck under them. 

"You will not get away with this!" he yelled. I started running because... earthquake! Satin was swallowed in the first second. "No!!!" Satin screamed. He was all swallowed. I took off, knowing there were more important things than him.


Time To Save (5/27/04 - 6/4/04)

I broke into the Center of Evil. "Conquering the world in ten seconds," said a computer voice. I saw the box with crystals in it closing. I jumped in. "Zero," the voice finished.

A red light turned on. I picked up a crystal and chucked it at the red light. "Self destruct in twenty... min...utes," a computer voice announced. "Make... that... an... hour... period." It would be easy to get out of this place in an hour. I really hope.

I ventured deeper and deeper. The place was huge. Then I entered a huge room. Even the floor was lower. There were creatures in the room. They started to charge toward me. One was exactly like a bat. The other was an animal almost exactly like a dog. They came closer and closer. I dodged them. Then I saw more of them. All coming toward me.

I saw another ladder. I sprinted forward. I finally got to the ladder about a minute later. I had a few cuts and scrapes. The ladder was not very long. But at the top was more trouble.

I met up with two more creatures. One was like two e's put together with uneven wings, the other was two arrows stuck together. I started to run from them, but they followed. Then the bat grabbed me. "In the pit," they yelled.

I was stuck to the almost-dog's teeth. "Wolfdog, let go. Arrowheads, shut all doors. S-boys, open all jails," said the bat.

They all said, "Yes, Dracula."

I started to fall. I knew there was something I could do. (Duh!) I was going bird! (Duh!) I flew up higher and higher. I saw no exit. Then I saw a tiny hole. I went in, and the door behind me shut.

"Fifty minutes," a computer voice said. 

I looked around. There was also a chair and a chainsaw. Then I got an idea. I picked up the chainsaw and sawed the chair in half. I put the halves together to make a whole. Hey, wait a minute. *Where is the hole?* I did all that for nothing. I threw the chainsaw at the wall. It started to slide down with a curve. Then it went up. It made a complete circle, uh, hole. I dived through the hole.

I was in a room with security cameras and alarms that were sounding. Security cameras! Alarms that were sounding! Let me try that again. SECURITY CAMERAS!! ALARMS THAT WERE SOUNDING!! OH NO!!! Security people came in.  They sprayed something at me.

When I woke up, I was falling. Again. I woke up by the computer, who said, "Five minutes until conquer." I had to hurry. I turned into a bird and flew up. I almost immediately found an opening. I flew in. A man with a cape shut the opening. I changed back into a bird then. 

Dracula. He said, "I vant to suck your blood."

It was time for a one on one duel. He tried to grab me. I dodged him every time. I pushed him back. He hit the wall, and it broke. Dracula fell and fell until he was as small as a bat. I turned away.

"Three minutes," the computer voice announced. I did not have time to watch Dracula fall. I only had three minutes. I kicked the wall. It fell apart. I leapt through the hole. "Two minutes."

I rushed to the control panel (which was in the room, of course). I scanned buttons after buttons. But that was not the problem. As soon as I found the self-destruct button, Wolfdog tackled me. He threw me to the other side of the room. To complete my mission, I had to get through him. To make matters worse, arrowheads and S-boys joined.

I charged into the battle. Wolfdog attacked. Arrowheads tried to pluck me. S-boys protected Wolfdog. About ten seconds after I entered the battle, I heard, "One minute." I kept fighting the battle. All the arrowheads and S-boys were down. "Thirty seconds." I roared to the controls. Wolfdog started to attack. I pushed him toward the wall. He sprang back on me.

This time I pushed him at the seld-destruct button. "One minute until self-destruct," a computer voice said. "Conquer world in ten, nine." I broke the wall. "Eight, seven." I looked down and saw a pink river. "Six, five." I jumped over the river. "Four, three." I ran for the sake of the world. "Two, one." I noticed machinery. "Zero."

I was too late. The machine started moving, and a pink liquid was flowing at my feet. I could still do this. I slid under the machine. The crystals were moving across a conveyor belt! So was I! Wait. SO WAS I!! OH NO!! IF I DID NOT GET OFF IT, I WAS TOAST! I mean, liquid. I mean, LIQUID!!

I hurried across the belt. I totally ignored the voice saying, "Thirty seconds." I got up, grabbed a crystal, and ran off the belt. I kicked the wall. I saw a ladder and climbed up.

Cutter's demons greeted me. Yo-Dog took the crystal. "No no no." He jumped into the hole. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." Kaboom! I mean, KABOOM!!!! Yo-Dog came flying out. The hole exploded. Everything started to collapse.

I ran out of the Center of Evil. It collapsed. There was no way Cutter's demons could get out. Or was there? 

Meanwhile, somewhere in the center of the world, Satin met Dracula. Wait. Good. Satin met Dracula! One more time. SATIN MET DRACULA!! They are alive!

"I'll get that bird," said Dracula. 

"I'll get that human," said Satin. 

They joined each other. Scary, huh? Nah! If you want to hear scary, I'll tell you a Ahhhhhhhhh!! 

Sorry. I am Satin. I have finally captured the human bird. Now I am happy! I will drop him, I mean, lower him into lava! Is this exciting? Anyways, Dracula will take over now.

Hello! I, I mean we, have finally captured the human bird. It is fantastic! The best part is, he will be lowered into lava! I am happy again. But first, we have to tell the story. 

"Why not create a team," I said. 

Satin said, "Sure!" 

Then we put our heads together. We created a plan. Satin will tell you it. 

So our plan went like this. "We need to catch him by surprise," I said. Dracula agreed. "How 'bout when he's writin' stories," I suggested. 

"Then we lower him in lava," said Dracula. 

"Yeah!" I said. 

So that is how it happened.


Satin's and Dracula's Revenge (6/4/04 - 10/10/04)

I am Satin. You know that already. So we took Joey to our underground lair. We tied him to a rope. He could not break free. We had him now. There were no loose spots. He was almost dead.

But then he climbed the rope, jumped on the machine, and the lava broke the rope! He slid out of the rope ring! I grabbed him.

Dracula said, "How 'bout we suck his bird powers out and then throw him in lava?" So that is what we did.

I held my pitchfork up to him. I drained his bird self. Then we threw him in the lava. Somehow, he survived. Somehow, he got the bird powers back.

I checked my pitchfork. His bird soul was there. No wait! His bird self was there! And his human self. Joey must be a spirit now! He disappeared.

"That takes care of him," I said. We won.

Now let me tell my story. I was born mad. I had no food. So I started to hunt birds. Then I met Joey. That person could have killed me. After revealing my secret, all I wanted was revenge. But I failed. Now I have it. I am happy!

Hello! Dracula here. My story is this. I was not always a vampire. But right after I was bit by a werewolf and bat, I was. I got a job at the Center of Evil. Then I met Joey. After he defeated me, I got revenge. I am happy! I am very very MOMMY!!!

"Yes," she said. 

Joey here. A.K.A. human bird. It is time to take revenge on Satin. Back to the story. 

Satin was ahead of me. He took out his pitchfork. I grabbed it. A spark hit me. Something was going through my lungs and kidneys. Then it got to my brain. As that happened, an immediate reaction made Satin fly backwards into the pool of lava.

I was a bird. Up in the air, I met Dracula. He bit me. Everything went black. Many milliseconds later, the blackness disappeared. I had blinked. But that blink took me to the spirit world.

Guess who was there. Satin was there. With one look at me, he picked me up and threw me. *This means war!* I ran up to him and pushed him over.

I looked around. The same three guys were there. "Two-hook, a little help here." He used one of his hooks to rip through Cutter/Satin/the devil. Well, look who is cutting now! 

"My back," screamed Satin. He pointed his pitchfork at me. "I will destroy you! Yes I will. Yes I will."

"Did you make one?" I asked. 

"Make what?" Satin replied. "There already is a Yankees Entertainment Station. Oh, I have not written a will yet. What about you?" 

He was charging something on his pitchfork. It was just a red light. Pretty soon, it was huge. Cutter/the devil/Satin said, "Fire!" I had a feeling this would destroy me.

But wait. I felt alive. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Bird Center of Evil." I blinked. I was in the Bird Center of Evil.

To my right was a lever. Jake was pulling it. "Stop!" I screamed. I wrestled him down.

"What just happened?" Jaked asked.

"I tackled you," I said. "You are doing evil, and please stop. Maybe you can join me to save the world!"

"Never!" yelled Jake. "Now to get back to - the lever's gone. Why? Wait, I can just pull the rest of the lever." He was just about to, when I wrestled him down. 

"Stop!" I told Jake. "You have a huge army of experiment birds. Don't you think you should use the birds for good? If you agree, blow that switch up." 

KABOOM! 

Jake agreed. It was actually possible. Jake had actually agreed.

I got off the bird, then Jake spread the message. It soon appeared on the REALLY LOUD speaker. "We have decided to turn good!" it said. "It is all thanks to our good friend, Joey." 

I had to meet everyone. It was hard, but I finally had met everyone. "Phew," I said, relieved. I almost fainted. It was such tiring work. But I had to soon get through a battle that should last three full, big, good, hardcore pages. 

*****

Dracula's Hideout: 

"My partner left. He hates the surface," said Dracula. 

"Yeah, how come you never sucked anyone's blood?" I asked. 

"Those tales are whack," responded Dracula. "I eat things just as regular humans do. They're just afraid of me because they're afraid of bats. And they think bats are cuckoo."

"We've still got three pages left," I interrupted. "What do we do?"

"Draw worthless pictures blocking our way," said Dracula.

"Hey," I said, "Why is there a large cactus?"

"I don't know," said Dracula. "The moving guys put it there."

Then they each gave each other a best-friends-forever-I-think-not-very-well ring. Then the cleanup began.

They went to Wishing Co. and got one wand for the discount price of $0.00 in cash. They wished the world was a better place again, and that everything was fixed. The only things were that experiment birds and Dracula weren't bad. It worked. 


The End