Cleff! in the Battle for Atlantis (1/18/07 - 1/25/07)


Cleff was flying around one day when he saw a shark in some water. Cleff, wanting to save the world, pulled out a sword. But just before it was about to hit the shark, the shark jumped up from the water, and it revealed it wasn't a shark. The thing floated above water, and Cleff was impressed by this strange being.

"I am a Sharkman," said the being. "And now you shall die!"

A cyclone started to form behind the Sharkman and the being dove into it. Cleff followed. Soon, Cleff was underwater, and that was when he saw it: Atlantis. But nobody could get in or out. Atlantis was locked.

Cleff swam through the water to get to the cage around Atlantis. Cleff poofed himself inside Atlantis.

Atlantis was awesome! Cleff explored the city, and the people were so nice. But then the hobos of Atlantis told Cleff about Sharkmen.

"Sharkmen are evil!" told the hobo. "Sharkmen eat Atlantians and humans! That's why our king locked Atlantis up. But now there's a food shortage! Atlantis needs to unlock or die! And plus...  Sharkmen are preying on regular humans now!"

Cleff thought about what the hobo said. Cleff replied, "That stinks."

Cleff suddenly awoke from his dream. Cleff looked around. He was on top of the antenna that was on top of the Empire State Building. That was where he had fallen asleep last night. Everything was normal.

It had already been one month since stopping P. Killerman, and three months since stopping Blood, so he hadn't seen Frankie and Freddy for three months. Cleff decided to pay them a visit. Cleff jumped off the antenna.

Cleff was soon over at Freddy's house, where Freddy, Frankie, and surprisingly Fredrick, who Frankie used to hate, were playing video games. Wii Sports Tennis, to be exact.

Cleff entered the house as silent as a thief. So silent, in fact, that as Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick played like zombies that played tennis, they didn't notice Cleff at all. In fact, Fredrick swung at the virtual ball so hard that he hit Cleff right in the...

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" cried Cleff.

Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick then finally noticed Cleff.

"Ouch," said Freddy, seeing what happened. "That must have hurt."

"Nope," said Cleff. "I just like saying 'Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!'"

"Oh," said Fredrick. "Good."

"So...um..." started Frankie. "We haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, I just wanted to check up on you guys," said Cleff. "I had a weird dream last night about Atlantis and Sharkmen."

"Atlantis?" questioned Fredrick. "Um...that doesn't exist."

"Do superpowers exist?" Frankie asked Fredrick.

"Listen, it does seem a bit too far-fetched," said Freddy.

"So now you're taking his side!" cried Frankie.

"Guys!" yelled Cleff. "I can prove Atlantis is real! Just let me show you!" Cleff grabbed the three boys.

Cleff then went to the place in his dream. He saw no Sharkmen, but whatever. Cleff sunk into the water with the boys and saw Atlantis. Cleff poofed them into its walls.

"Woah!" said Freddy. "It does exist!"

Freddy and Frankie and Fredrick went to see an Atlantian movie. Cleff went to see the king.

"So you're saying that we should keep the cage around Atlantis locked so everyone will starve?" asked the king to Cleff.

"Yep!" exclaimed Cleff. "Everyone will starve!"

"I'm unlocking the cage," said the king.

"But the Sharkmen!" cried Cleff.

"Unlock the cage!" shouted the king.

"Nuts!" cried Cleff.

And Cleff was right. When the cage unlocked, the Sharkmen attacked. And the Atlantians weren't prepared for battle.

"Idiot," said Cleff.

Cleff ran over to the opening, where the Sharkmen were entering. A Sharkman zoomed right by Cleff and swiped a hit at Cleff's face.

"Ow," said Cleff.

Cleff looked at how many Sharkmen entered. They were so numerous. The Atlantians were outnumbered.

Cleff heard the king shout, "Get the swords! They're attacking!"

Many, many Atlantians came out of their homes with swords. They defended their own life and Atlantis' fate.

Then Cleff saw a few Sharkmen go into the movie theatre. "No!" Cleff cried. Cleff flew after them. Cleff walked into the movie theatre and all Cleff's troubles drifted away. The movie was a great one. But then Cleff remembered the life of Freddy, Fredrick, and Frankie was being brutally torn out of them. Cleff looked for them and saw them. Freddy and Fredrick were fleeing, but Frankie was being tortured.

"Noo!" cried Cleff. Cleff jumped over to Frankie and started to beat up all of the mean ol' sharks.

"You saved me!" exclaimed Frankie. Then Frankie saw Freddy and Fredrick get attacked by a Sharkman. "Save them!" cried Frankie.

Cleff ran over to the Freds. He did a double backflip handstand headbutt. Cleff saved Freddy and Fredrick.

"You're not safe here!" said Cleff.

"Where do we go?" asked Freddy.

"Ummmm...well... I'll clone myself," said Cleff. He did.

"I'll protect them well," said Cleff Clone.

Cleff flew away. "Hmm...how to save Atlantis?" he thought. "I know! I'll defeat their leader!" It was a clever plan, but would it work???????????

Cleff decided that he would stick with his plan. But where was the leader? Was he the tall, dark, and handsome one, or was he the one wearing a Burger King crown? Or was the leader of the Sharkmen battling the king?

Cleff beat up a few Sharkmen, and then he went to see the king. Cleff was about to talk when he realized the king didn't see him. In fact, the king was too caught up in a conversation with the Sharkman king!

"I can't believe I pulled it off," said the Atlantian king.

"Me neither," said the Sharkman king. They laughed. "But, you kind of betrayed your people."

"I hate them!" said the Atlantian king. "Ever since I was born I wanted to leave this place. But the last king locked this place up. But who would have guessed that there's a secret way in and out of Atlantis!"

"There is?" asked the Sharkman king.

"Yeah...how do you think I got out and met you?"

The Sharkman king then left. Cleff came into the room.

"Hello, Cleff," said the Atlantian king. "What troubles you?"

"You!" shouted Cleff.

"What do you mean?" said the king nervously.

"I overheard you and the Sharkman king talking," said Cleff.

"Look, you have to understand..." said the king.

"Oh, I understand," said Cleff obnoxiously. Cleff punched the king in the nose.

"Ow!" he said. "You could have given me a nosebleed!"

"Oh, I was trying to do that," said Cleff.

"Well then, it's on!" shouted the king. The king knocked a blow at Cleff's jaw. Cleff fell into unconsciousness. "Idiot doesn't even know about jaw punches," muttered the king. The king left.

A little while later, Cleff awoke in a cage, suspended above lava. Also suspended above lava in different cages were Frankie, Freddy, Fredrick, and Cleff Clone. Cleff looked down from his cage to see that the Atlantian king manned the controls to drop them into lava.

"Hello, my guests," said the king.

"You evil little traitor," yelled Cleff.

"I'm a good one, aren't I?" said the king. "So, I will drop each of you into the lava one vy one. I'll start with Cleff."

"But how do you know which Cleff is which?" asked Cleff Clone.

"I don't," said the king. "That's the fun of it!"

"Um...right...yeah...how do you find randomly choosing a Cleff to drop in lava fun?" asked Frankie.

"It's a villain thing," said the Atlantian king. And with that he pressed a button and a Cleff fell into the lava.

"Now the other one!" shouted the king.

"Cleff! Think!" said Freddy desperately. "Even if you're not the real Cleff, you can do anything! Like turn lava into ground, or break the controls, or break the bars off and then fly around and save everyone!"

The Cleff above lava was thinking. "Am I Cleff or Cleff Clone?" he asked himself. "But does it matter?" He had made up his mind. Cleff built up a humongous fart, and then he farted. The fart caused all the bars to break, and Cleff was free.

"What!?" cried the king. "Erg, one false move and I'll...I'll...drop your friends in the lava!"

Cleff made a fist, and then he quickly flew at the king. He punched him right in the jaw! The king fell unconscious.

Cleff freed his friends. "Now I want you to stay in here," said Cleff. "That way, I'll know where to find you."

"Umm...right..." said Fredrick.

"Well, it is safe," said Frankie. "This place is obviously secret. And we'll just chuck the king into the lava. It's probably pit lava or dream lava anyways. I mean, like, nothing ever dangerous anymore."

Cleff left and hunted for the Sharkman king. Cleff asked the locals where they thought he could be.

"He's probably attacking the rich part of Atlantis," said some local. So Cleff went to the rich part of Atlantis.

Meanwhile, Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick picked up the unconscious Atlantian king. "Should we chuck him?" asked Freddy.

"I guess," said Fredrick.

Just then, the king's eyes opened. "Let me go!" he ordered. He tried to break free from the kids' grasp, but it was no use. The king could not move. "That's dream lava," said the king. "So what if you throw me in there?"

Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick threw him in there. "So that's that," said Fredrick.

"I wonder what Cleff is doing?" asked Freddy.

Cleff was currently fighting his way into the rich guy's mansion, which was now where King Sharkman was. He had already conquered it, and now he was eating the rich guy's contents of his refrigerator. The king had guards posted at the entrances of the mansion.

Cleff came through the front because he felt like it. Apparently, though, the most guards were posted at the front, but Cleff fought his way through. He grabbed mouths, pulled noses, punched stomachs, and pinched random skin. But besides all this eww eww touchy touchy madness, Cleff was pretty much beating the Sharkmen up. And he did.

Cleff then got to the kitchen, where the Sharkman king was eating everything. The king saw Cleff. "Who the crow are you?" asked the Sharkman king.

"Cleff," said Cleff. "And I've come to take back Atlantis."

King Sharkman jumped onto a table. "You dare fight me!" he said. He jumped on top of Cleff and started to bite through his neck. Cleff threw the Sharkman off him and at a wall. The king jumped back up and launched himself at Cleff. Cleff ducked, and the Sharkman king slammed into another wall.

Cleff then began to punch King Sharkman ferociously. The king was losing his grip on consciousness. "I want you to never return to Atlantis," said Cleff. "And I want you to tell your people to leave right now."

"Fine," said the Sharkman king.

The king came out of the mansion and told the Sharkman that they were leaving, but when they were about to exit the place, Atlantis locked itself up.

"What?" wondered Cleff.

Freddy, Frankie, and Fredrick were running up to Cleff. "The Atlantian King...he...cloned himself."

Cleff, Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick were rushing to the control peasant's room. This was where you could open a cage. This was also where a certain clone resided. "Can't you just poof us all there?" asked Fredrick.

"I don't feel like it," said Cleff. "So um...we're sketchy on the details, but we know he must have cloned himself before you chucked him in lava, right?"

"Yeaaah..." said Freddy and Frankie in unison.

They arrived in the room, and the clone was there. The king's clone said, "Why hello there. I want to destroy you."

The king clone took out a laser. He aimed it at Cleff's head and fired. Cleff started to boogie down as the king's clone kept trying to hit him. Cleff was actually able to dance over to the king clone, where he tripped him. Cleff then punched the guy unconscious.

Cleff looked out the window of the room and saw something bad. The Sharkmen were fighting the Atlantians again! So Cleff opened the city and poofed himself outside, leaving Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick to the king clone.

"Well, I have a hunch that we can get rid of this clone by putting him back into the clone machine," said Frankie.

And so they did, and the clone disappeared. Although what Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick didn't know was that when Cleff was dancing earlier, he pulled an important wire, and now the whole castle was about to collapse. The three rushed to the stairs.

Cleff had already gotten the Sharkmen to leave. It was easy. So Cleff turned around so he could get Frankie, Freddy, and Fredrick. But the castle was collapsing! Cleff didn't do a thing though. "Those kids need to toughen up," he said to himself.

As the stairs collapsed and the walls collapsed, the three were pretty much falling. They raced down the stairs, and when they got to the ground floor, they used a door to get into the main hallway. The ceiling was collapsing there, too. They were trapped. But just as a rock of the ceiling was about to crush their heads, the rock floated in the air, and then flew upward. Cleff was there to save them.

Cleff grew a third arm and grabbed the three. They flew away from Atlantis. "Are they gonna attack humans now?" asked Fredrick.

"No, no," said Cleff. "They're gonna attack Atlanta, Georgia."

"What!?" cried Frankie. "Fly, Cleff, fly!"

So Cleff flew there. And sure enough, there were more Sharkmen. Cleff put the three down and started to hurt more Sharkmen.

"Wouldn't it just be smarter to tell the Sharkmen to go eat fish?" asked Freddy.

A Sharkman overheard that. The King Sharkman. So King Sharkman then made a speech to his people. "What are we doing? Trying to eat humans and the Atlantians? This is bad. I mean, one of you might eat a Homestar, but that's not the point. I suggest we change out eating habits, and eat some fish!"

And the Sharkmen listened to their king and left Atlanta. Sharkmen were made for the ocean.

"So what do we do now?" asked Fredrick.

"We eat some food!" yelled Cleff in a victory pose.

So they all went to the Fishy-Fish diner. There, Cleff had a plan to save money.

"I'd like a fishburger with cheese," said Cleff.

"So you'd like a cheeseburger?" asked the intelligent waiter.

"No!" responded Cleff. "I want a fishburger with cheese!"

"That's a cheeseburger," said the waiter.

"I want a fishburger with cheese!" yelled Cleff.

The waiter wrote down cheeseburger in his order book. "How would you like that cooked?" asked the waiter.

"With cheese," said Cleff.

After they ate dinner, Cleff brought the three home. Cleff then retreated to his bed: atop the antenna that's on top of the Empire State Building. Cleff fell sleep. And snored.


The End