Cleff! in the Punctuationinatorkillerman (1/2/07 - 1/9/07)


Cleff was watching TV one day in his newly rented out apartment. He watched one of the eight channels he received from his horrible not Plasma screen. His TV was more like a Cosmic Death Ray.

Cleff was cooking something in the kitchen at the moment, but had forgotten about it. Anydangway, the phone rang. Cleff answered it and somebody started to talk.

"Cleff! Come down to the museum of expensive things quick!" said la persona en el telefono.

Cleff went to the museum. Some guy named Manager of Museum led Cleff to a room where a glass was broken and a gem was stolen.

"I think you did it!" yelled the manager.

"Why?" said Cleff.

"Because!" bounced the manager.

"Oh... now I gots it!" said Cleff understandingly.

"So... you're under arrest!" shouted the manager.

"But I didn't steal no gem!" yelled Cleff. "That's blasphemy! I don't deserve to be arrested!"

"Well, who stole the gem then?" asked the manager.

Cleff looked around the crime scene. He found a sledgehammer on the ground in another display room. He was about to grab it when the manager said, "Stop! That sledgehammer can be used for fingerprinting! Don't get your prints on it!"

"Right..." said Cleff, picking it up.

"Cleff!" yelled the manager.

"Hey look!" exclaimed Cleff. "There are punctuation marks on this sledgehammer!"

"Is it handwritten?" asked the manager.

"I don't know!?" Cleff said angrily. "Erg! You take it!" Cleff chucked the sledgehammer backward, and it hit the manager's head. There was a slight crack when it hit the manager's head, but he lived on. The manager notified the police that he wanted to speak with the Punctuationinatorkillerman.

P. Killerman came to some interrogation, which was held by the manager and Cleff.

"Where were you last night!?" asked the manager.

"I was watching TV," said Cleff.

"Ugg!" said the manager. "Not you. I was talking to Punctuationinatorkillerman!"

"Oh, sheesh! You don't need to be so rude about that," replied Cleff.

"I was playing video games," said P. Killerman.

"Which one?" questioned the manager.

"Um...Star Legend Heroes," said P. Killerman.

"Never heard of it," said Cleff. "Someone must have made it up."

"Okay! I can't take it anymore. I stole -"

Cleff interrupted P. Killerman. He had a full mouth of donut when he said, "Mmm...no wonder why police goof off!"

"So would you just write on that piece of paper I, comma, P. Killerman, comma, am innocent, exclamation point."

P. Killerman wrote down on paper, "I, P. Killerman, am innocent!"

The manager dismissed P. Killerman, scanend his handwriting into the computer, compared it, and found a match. "Get him!" shouted the manager to Cleff. "He stole the cookie - I mean gem!"

Cleff ran after P. Killerman. P. Killerman ran. "So they found me out!" he yelled. He took out a rocket laser. He fired it at a wall. The wall disintegrated. P. Killerman ran out of the building. Cleff followed.

P. Killerman ran into the forest, Cleff following him. P. Killerman used his exclamation point springs to launch himself quickly up into a tree. He took out a sniper laser.

Cleff looked around the forest ground. He didn't see P. Killerman anywhere. Cleff continued to look for P. Killerman, unaware that there was a red dot on his head.

Up in the tree, P. Killerman was aiming his sniper laser at Cleff. Cleff was so helpless, it would be so easy. But as P. Killerman was about to pull the trigger, a monkey jumped on Punctuationinatorkillerman's head.

"Aaah!" shouted P. Killerman, revealing his position. "What's a monkey doing here!"

"P. Killerman?" said Cleff. "Hey, what are you doing there?"

"Uh...sniping you," replied P. Killerman.

"Nice..." responded Cleff. "Monkey! Come down here! I need to get you back to the zoo!"

The monkey, whose name was Mike, leaped onto Cleff's arm. Cleff then retreated out of the woods.

Rhinos, giraffes, and elephants were rampaging the streets. Word on the street was they were escapees from the zoo. Cleff used his superpowers to fly over the animals and across the street. "Stupid zoologists," muttered Cleff.

But then Cleff remembered that P. Killerman still had the gem. Cleff dropped Mike the monkey into the stampede of animals. Cleff then flew back to the woods, unaware he was about to be lasered by the sniper laser that P. Killerman was holding.

Cleff then was blinded by a red dot. He knew the red dot was coming from a sniper laser. So Cleff dodged it and poofed himself next to P. Killerman.

"How did you get here?" asked P. Killerman.

"That's what you think!" responded Cleff.

"What?" wondered P. Killerman.

"Exact-itact-alact-achact-atactly," replied Cleff.

"Uh...right," said P. Killerman.

"I need that gem...now...or...sooner," said Cleff dramatically.

"No way!" responded P. Killerman. "I mean - I stole it!"

"Give me it!" cried Cleff.

"No!" bellowed P. Killerman. "Besides... I don't have it!"

"Then where is it?" questioned Cleff.

"I don't know," admitted P. Killerman.

Cleff angrily knocked P. Killerman's weapon out of his hands and took him down to the police station. The police were currently busy, though. They had arrested many rhinos, giraffes, and elephants. But then the police saw P. Killerman and arrested him. He was charged for robbery and attempted murder, yet the police search P. Killerman, P. Killerman's crib, and even his car, but they couldn't find the gem. They even searched P. Killerman's secret base.

Night fell, and Cleff went home. Cleff looked up at his apartment building, and it was on fire!

"Oh my frog!" shouted Cleff. "Me house is on fire!"

Cleff turned his hands into fire extinguishers, but he was too late. The fire department got there first. Cleff had to pay back the $100,000 of damage. How could he possibly get the money?

Cleff slept in the zoo that night. He slept in the monkey cage because all the other animals were too wild.

Cleff fell asleep, and didn't wake up until morning. When he awoke, the zookeeper was checking the cages. The zookeeper came over to the monkey cage.

"Hey Cleff," said the zookeeper.

The zookeeper came into the cage and looked around. Under some loose dirt he saw something. "What's that?" he wondered. He grabbed it and saw that it was the gem!

Cleff was taken to the police station to be interrogated. In the interrogation room, the manager of the museum asked, "How did you do it?"

"I didn't do anything!" cried Cleff. "The gem just showed up in the cage!"

"Well then, did you hear anything in the night?" questioned the manager.

"No...well, there were the annoying monkeys," responded Cleff.

"Hmm...I see..." said the manager.

Suddenly, P. Killerman came bursting into the room. Yep, he'd already been released. Yeah, in court, he used the "I get hyper when I eat sugar" excuse.

"I know what happened," said Punctuationinatorkillerman.

"What?" asked Cleff and the manager in unison.

"Tell me the location of the gem first," said P. Killerman.

"No," said the manager. "Tell us what happened first."

"Fine," said P. Killerman. "Well, it all started when I drank too much soda and ate too much candy. And that made me do awful things."

"You took candy from a baby!" interrupted Cleff.

"No," said P. Killerman. "But I did grab a sledgehammer, walked into some museum, and stole the gem. I ran out of there with the gem and got a sniper laser, ran up into a tree, and a monkey jumped on top of me while I was lasering Cleff. That monkey, whose name was Mike, took the gem from me. Later the monkey, named Mike, hid the gem in his cage."

"Aha!" exclaimed Cleff. "I knew it all along!"

"No you didn't," said the manager.

"Now...tell me where the gem is," said P. Killerman.

"It's..." started Cleff, but the manager shut his mouth.

"It's a deal..." Cleff barely said.

"Well he shouldn't know the location of the game," whispered the manager.

Cleff back-punched the manager and said, "It's being inspected for cavities by the dentist."

P. Killerman rushed out of the room. "After him!" shouted the manager. Cleff ran out the room. The manager slowly followed. He whispered to himself, "Wow, he's a complete idiot."

The dentist's place was located above Cleff's burned apartment. The dentist's place took little damage, except there was a hole in the floor of the bathroom. P. Killerman would arrive soon. Cleff afterward.

P. Killerman kicked down the door of the apartment. He rushed over to the dentist, who was holding the gem, and stole the gem. But suddenly Cleff lurched into the room and tackled P. Killerman. They rolled into the bathroom. P. Killerman kicked Cleff off of him.

Cleff hit his head on the toilet and then fell in it. Cleff climbed out of it and punched P. Killerman into the hole which led to Cleff's apartment.

Cleff jumped down into his burned apartment, and just as he did, P. Killerman managed to hit Cleff in the face with a pounding blow. Cleff gathered his strength, getting ready to do the ultimate move! Cleff tripped P. Killerman.

P. Killerman kicked Cleff (while still on the floor) over to the stove. The stove exploded, setting everything on fire again! Cleff went flying over to the other side of the room. P. Killerman, just getting up, was surrounded by fire!

Cleff walked through the fire to get to P. Killerman. It hurt. "Give up?" Cleff asked P. Killerman.

P. Killerman looked up at Cleff. The fire was closing in on them. P. Killerman grabbed Cleff's neck. "No!" he yelled. P. Killerman did a horrible imitation of a laugh. Cleff, trying to break free, kicked the ground. The floor began to collapse, and P. Killerman and Cleff fell through the floor.

Cleff and P. Killerman continued their fight in some lazy-guy-watching-TV's house. Cleff then made a knockout punch!

While P. Killerman was unconscious, Cleff got the gem!

Cleff flew down to the road, where the manager was waiting. Cleff gave the gem to the manager.

"You did it!" he cried. "I think that's worth a dollar." Manager of Museum gave Cleff a dollar.

"YAY!" exclaimed Cleff. "YES! AWESOME! A DOLLAR!"

Cleff used that dollar to gamble his way to $100,000. Then he used that money to pay for the damage caused from the fire.

Cleff had a little leftover money, which he used to buy a better security system for the gem.

So when P. Killerman went to steal it again...well, that's another story.


THE END