Very Evil's Plot by JeRM


Prologue

Wicked Evil was Very Evil's father. Very hated his name too much. But his father beat him and beat him and beat him until he could not take it anymore. "I won't be evil," he said every time his father beat him. One day his father slapped him so hard he hit him back. They got into punches and kicks. Scary as can be, Very beat up his dad (okay, it is not scary; unless you are evil). He did not take his dad to the hospital. He just waited.

Sorry to interrupt, but I want to tell you just to skip the prologue and go to chapter one. I mean it. Stop thinking in your mind you will keep reading. I told you to stop. Fine, you can read. But do not say I did not warn you.

Wicked's right eye opened first. Then the left. He got up from the ground. His horrible expression on his face was really freaky. He just walked up to Very and picked him up by the neck. "You better listen up," he yelled. "Something is wrong with your mind. You have to be evil. You have to fit your family name. YOU HAVE TO!!!"

Snap! There was a sound in the bushes. "They know we're here," panicked Wicked. "You have to run...out the back door. I'lI hold them off...hurry...RUN!"

Very ran out the back door and for the first time he realized something. His father cared. He actually cared. Very could not believe it. Maybe he should turn evil. Maybe he should follow his dad's footsteps. Maybe not, he could be of help to the world. But his dad could have been right to be evil. Then Very got to the point: IT IS WRONG. But if something is wrong does that mean you should not do it? He kept running, thinking.

Every time his dad hit him he would say he was not evil. Maybe he was wrong Maybe there was always that sensation to become evil inside of him. Maybe not. Then he remembered something. In every good there is evil, and inside every evil is good.

He could not stop thinking. He had to make his decision. Was he good or bad? He had to make his decision NOW. Evil was actually feeling great for the first time. But...

"You are under arrest," yelled a policeman. He put the handcuffs on him and took him to jail.

Very thought in jail. He needed to figure out a way to get back at those guys. No. All he needed to do was get revenge. He did not do anything. "I have to become evil," he thought. "They'll pay."


Chapter 1 - Very Evil's Plot

"Burn! Burn!" Very screamed. He was using his magnifying glass he stole from one of the guards to burn a newspaper. He was getting crazy. It was his last year in prison after twenty years. He got arrested for nothing. Nothing. And he spent two thirds of his life so far in prison.

About the fire; Very was trying to make it burn for two reasons: (a) he wanted to demonstrate his plan to take over the world, and (b) he wanted to escape from prison - it was not worth the wait. His plan to breakout probably would not work. They would probably just bring him to another cell. But he had to
try.

About the demonstration; he shaped the newspaper like a globe and his magnifying glass was supposed to be the laser beam he was going to create. He lay in his pile of newspapers holding the glass out in front of him. His actual plot would have a mirror on the Moon and the mirror would make the rays brighter and hotter. It should burn cities.

Finally, the paper started to burn. Soon the flames rose high. A guard saw and opened the cage. Very threw it on him. The fire caught on to him. Very grabbed the globe and threw it in the pile of papers he was just in. "That should keep it burning," he said.

He ran farther away from his cell. Farther and farther. He was almost to the exit. Only one flaw...

"That's two more years for you," said a guard. Very could not take it. He punched the policeman. But someone grabbed Very from behind. He snapped the handcuffs on him and threw him back in an empty cell.

"Two more years," he whispered. "Two more years."

He waited and waited. He could not risk another breakout. He would get more years on his jail time. No, he could not risk it. But maybe - no he could not. "It's too risky," he said every time he came up with a plan. But maybe he should escape. If he kept trying and trying until he got out the years would be no more. But if he kept failing then he could spend his life in the big house.

"What I need is henchmen," he thought. "And an evil laugh. Ha ha ha ha ha. No I hate that. I don't want an evil laugh. Not yet."

He wondered how he would get henchmen. I need one of those cell phones. Like a really weird coincidence a cop left a cell phone next to his cell that day. He grabbed it and hid it. Too bad he could not remember any numbers. He kept naming numbers in his head but he could not remember any numbers at all. Then after being sick of not knowing any phone numbers he just picked up the phone and dialed a bunch of numbers.

"Hello," said the person on the other line. "Good or evil," asked Very. "Who is this?" the person on the other line asked. "I'm scared." And she hung up.

Every day he would keep calling and calling but no one seemed to be evil. Maybe if he just waited they would not be after him anymore once he got out. But that was in two years. He should not have tried that breakout plan at all. It would be a miracle if he found someone evil.

"Are you good or evil," he said to the phone. "You are? Well I'm in jail. Can you bust me out? You will! What am I in for? I don't really know. They just threw me in the slammer because I'm Wicked Evil's son."

The man on the other line gasped. "You're his son?" the guy asked. "You can't be. I know it. I heard his son was killed."

"What's the big idea?" questioned Very. "And when can you bust me out of here?"

"One at a time. I mean I didn't even introduce myself," the guy said.

"Make it quick," commanded Very.

"Okay," said the guy. "My name is Really Bad."

"So what is your name?" ordered Very.

"Really Bad."

"What is it??" asked Very.

"REALLY BAD IS MY NAME!"

"Okay." said Very. "I get it."

"Now," continued Really, "I'm going to tell you the answers to what you asked me. First, your dad was a really evil man. His work was to burn cities down. He also was really wicked. Very - right, that's your name - you have a huge responsibility in your hands. You need to continue your father's work. All you need to do is get out of here."

"Continue," said Very.

"And," said Really, "I'll break you out as soon as I break out of Arizona XYZ Asteroid Prison. Wait a minute." He paused and then said, "You're in that prison!"

"You're in jail?" asked Very.

"Yep," answered Really. "Anyway, I'll bust you out a here as soon as I can break out."

"Um," said Very, "wouldn't it be better if we worked together? And how are you talking to me on the phone if you're in the slammer too?"

"I'll explain," explained Really. "So you probably stole a cell phone and now you're using it. So you call everyone asking them the same exact stupid question. Why can't you just go steal a phone book they always leave on the table? It's that easy. All you have to do to get a cell phone around this place is pick their pocket. But I'm curious. Did you have anyone call you?"

"Once," answered Very. "But only once. I didn't say are you good or evil to him because it would ruin the perfectly good info. He told they created a superpower juice that makes up to three glasses. asked 'who are they?' He told me that they are the New York scientists who know everything. I asked him if it works but he said that they're still testing it. I said good luck then hung up."

"So," asked Really, "do you have any breakout plans?"

"Well I was thinking if you could use that cell phone you have to call me to the visiting spot," explained Very. "They use phones there, right? Well, I'll break the phone and hide it in my shirt. I'll use the wires to screw loose the screws on the toilet then I'll pick it up and ram it into the bars. Um, what cell are you in?"

"Twenty-seven," answered Really.

"You're right next to me!" exclaimed Very. "On second thought, I'lI ram it left first, then ram the bars, so we can both get out of here."

"Hey, do you read the top three stupid people in the paper?" changed the subject Really.

"No, who are they?" answered and asked Very.

"Stupid Diputs, Jerk Krej, and Dumb Bmud," answered Really. "It says in the article they like to be called B, J and Stu."

"Well, let's get going," hurried Very.

"Yep," responded Really, "let's rock."

*****

"Hello," said Really, "I want to speak to Very Evil during the visiting hours. Can you make arrangements?"

"Yes we can," said the person on the other line.

Meanwhile, in the cell, Very waited for the people to come and pick him up. When someone finally came the person said, "Very, you have someone who wants to visit you." He came in, put the handcuffs on Very, and left toward the visiting place.

Very ripped the wires off the telephone. Then he made the wires into the shape of the tip of a screwdriver. He waited until the hours were over, then he stuck the phone in his shirt. He got up and sat on the rest of the phone. Then a cop came and put the cuffs on him and brought him back to his cell.

Very screwed all four of screws off the toilet. He picked up the toilet and rammed the cement wall to his left. He finally got to see Really for the first time. He was a scrawny black-haired guy.

Really followed Very as Very rammed the walled very very hard. The bars burst off. "Let's go," said Very.

Really followed Very out of the prison. They only had to take out two guards along the way! When they finally got out Really followed Very around the prison.

"Where are we going?" asked Really.

"Underground," answered Very.

They stopped at a doorway on the backside of the jail. Very went inside and Really mimicked him. They spiraled down a spiral staircase until they came to a place far underground.

Very walked forward toward another door. He opened it and stepped inside. Very and Really walked deeper and deeper into the place. Although it was pitch black, you could see some things. Like the door they were about to walk into. They could tell it was there because the doorknob was so shiny.

CREAK! They went into another room. Very flipped the light switch. Many tunnels were standing right before their eyes.

"I's true," said Very. "All fifty tunnels underground. My dad was right. Really, this is our base. Oh, and the walking, I've got it covered. I have a horizontal elevator. It should operate right once I flip the switch for it. Then it can bring you to the part of the state you want to go to. Come on, follow me."

Very walked toward the center of the room. He walked down another spiral staircase and flipped another light switch.

"This is the plotting center," Very said. "We make up our schemes here and demonstrate."

He walked toward the chalkboard. He picked up a piece of chalk and wrote "open up" on it. The chalkboard extended.

"This is the secret hiding spot. You hide in here if anyone figures us out."

He closed the chalkboard then said "Let's start on our first plot. We got two objectives: to steal the superpower juice and to use the sun's rays to destroy cities. I should be able to create a laser beam to make the rays stronger. I'll have a big mirror on the Moon and I'lI convert the laser into it. The sun's rays will hit it, then BAM! We destroy cities."

He drew a diagram on the board. It had the Sun, the Moon and the Earth. On the Moon was a mirror and he drew a line pretending to be the sun's ray as it hit the mirror and bounced to the Earth. Also on the Moon was a laser beam connecting to the mirror. On Earth was a big spot with lines all coming out in all directions and in big letters was "BAM!"

"And the superpowers," continued Very. "We should be able to take the elevator to New York City and steal the juice. It'll be like taking candy from a baby."

"What about security?" asked Really.

"I can take care of that," answered Very.

*****

"We're here," said Very

"Talk about insane," said Really.

"It was probably just bumps," said Very.

"How could you call those bumps?" said Really. "Those were hills."

They were hillocks," Very corrected. "Small hills."

"Whatever," Really said.

They climbed the spiral staircase to the top. When they opened the door... they were on a roof of a skyscraper! Very looked across Manhattan. No buildings were taller than the one they were standing on. "We must be on the World Trade Center!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry," corrected Really, "but a terrorist knocked down the Twin Towers a while ago."

"Then what building are we standing on?" asked Very.

"The Empire State Building," answered Really building. 

At that moment Really ran up to toward Very and tackled him, making them both fly off the building. "This is gonna kill us!" screamed Very.

"I know," said Really. "I have a parachute."

"A?" said Very. "Really, don't tell me that. I wish you weren't crazy."

Really spread the parachute. But then Really let go of it.

"We're dead," said Really. But Very grabbed the parachute before they reached the ground. "Now to get to that superpower juice," he said.

He ran through streets until he got to the building. It was called "The Building of Total Security." Very entered it and Really followed.

They were able to run through the building freely because the building was open at that time. But they could not steal the juice when the public was watching. The only time was at night.

Soon Very found the superpower juice exhibit. Very and Really hid in a closet waiting until the night.

"Come on out," said Very. Really stepped out of the closet. They walked toward the juice. Really was about to grab it when Very took out a weightless scale. As quick as possible, Very put the scale under the juice.

"Three pounds," Very said.

He quickly switched the juice with the sand. Then he said, "Easy. That was a piece of cake."

Butt at that moment - sorry, I meant but - a boulder came smashing/crashing to the floor/camouflaged scale hidden in the floor.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Very and Really screamed in unison. "Hey how come the boulder isn't rolling?" asked Really.

"This isn't an Indiana Jones movie," Very said. "The stupid security is lame. Duh!"

They got out of the building as quickly as they could. But they ran into some problems along the way...

"Calling all guards," said the speaker up on the wall. "Wake up! There are people in here that just stole the stupid powers juice - I mean, superpower juice. They set off the boulder and they triggered the invisible security beams. SO GET MOVING!"

Guards crowded the halls all over the building. They had a great search across the whole building to find the thieves. They looked all across the halls and in closets. They looked in the basement and they searched every floor, every room, everything. Since they searched through everything, at least one guard had to find them. Well, as it turns out, they did not search everything. But they still found Really and Very.

"All right you bandits," ordered a guard, "listen up. You're going to be arrested and taken to trial then jail. You are going to jail, that's right. Sorry, I did not introduce myself. I'm Tim Jones, and I'll be the one to take you to trial. The cops will be arriving any minute - Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

Very and Really raced away from Tim as they bursted out the door like angry policemen. They finally got away but they still had to race up the roof of the Empire State Building.

"Where's the juice?" asked Really

"I thought you had it," replied Very.

"Turn around" said Tim, who was directly behind them. He was holding the superpower juice in his hands.

Very and Really both charged at him, angry as ever. Tim screamed at the top of his lungs, unmoving. Very and Really tackled him down. They grabbed the juice and ran.

Up and up and up and up and up and up and they took a breath and up and up and up they went. When they finally got to the top they found Tim on the roof. "How did you -?" Very started to say but he just realized he just could have taken the elevator.

Tim then just slowly walked up to Very, punched him, and took the superpower juice "Catch..." Tim started to say but then he could not throw the juice over the edge. It was museum property and the juice could kill someone if he dropped it down.

So instead, Tim drank one juice box of the juice, and then threw the rest over the edge. Really ran off the building and tried to catch the juice. "Got it!" he screamed. Really drank some.

Tim, who was waiting for the juice to catch and have an alive guy to turn into a dead guy, was standing on the ground.

Up in the air, Really was flying up the side of one of the tallest buildings in the world. When he got to the top, he threw the last superpower juice box to Very. Very caught it and drank it.

"I feel power," he screamed. "I feel fury. I feel like destroying the world! I feel EVIL! I also feel horrible. It's like I'm going to do something crazy. I feel like I am going to let evil take over my whole mind. YEAH!"

Tim, on the other hand, was turning into an idiot. He was becoming a crazy lunatic flying. But that is a totally different story. Anyway, he was only one of the people who became idiots when he drank the juice. That was one side effect. The others are feeling complete evil and hardly caring for things.

"Really, let's go!" yelled Very.

"No." replied Really.

Really did seem serious. He did seem careless too.

"We have to, Really, for evil," Very said.

"No," said Really.

Really was just being careless. It was his side effect. But Very did not know that until he looked back at the juice box. He read "side effects are becoming stupid, careless or evil." Very knew there must be a cure. He almost gave up but then he found another fine print on the box. "There is only one cure for one of these side effects. The only way to cure carelessness is by saying the word care fifty times in a row. The other side effects have no cures."

Really flew downward toward the ground. Very watched as he entered a phone booth. Very flew down and kept repeating care over and over.

Really inside the phone booth had called the police. He told them the secrets to where the entrance to their hideout was in the city then told them that evil plans were being fixed up in it.

"Care!" Very screamed. "CARE! CARE! CARE!" And after that last scream of repeating the same word, Really finally snapped out of his not-caring spree.

Really hung up the phone and said, "What is was wrong with me, how did that happen? We really need to get back to base. We'll set up traps and they'll run right into them. It'll be so great watching the guns fly over their heads, if they have any."

"What's so funny about guns flying over people's heads?" asked Very.

"I don't know, but I hear sirens," replied Really.

It was true. Sirens were arriving all over the place that instant. Very grabbed Really and they flew upward toward the top of the Empire State Building. When they finally reached the top, they looked down.

They could see the police guys running into the building. They saw the piles of police cars. Very took a penny out of his pocket and chucked it down. It landed on a police car. Well, actually it touched the police car's roof, then the roof sunk down.

"Fun's over," said Really. "Come on, let's go."

They hurried down the spiral stairs. They rushed into the horizontal elevator. It took them across to the center, then they sprinted out. Very shut down the elevator and then they started setting up.

They quickly set up a circle around the whole area. They rushed when they set up the cameras. Then they walked toward the center of the room and spun quickly down the spiral staircase. Then they knocked the whole thing down. Very wrote "open up" on the chalkboard then they raced inside.

*****

"It is a base." said a guy. "Oh, and my name is Bob Bob."

"Who are you talking to?" asked a troop.

"None of your beeswax!" replied Bob.

"I have earwax not beeswax," said Troop.

"SHUT UP!" screamed Bob.

He walked into the base. But as soon as he touched the center, they got stuck to the ground. Everyone did the same as Bob and they all got stuck.

Then one guy played leapfrog. After he landed, he got stuck too.

Everyone else followed suit. Everyone else played leapfrog over two, three, four, or five people. This was the only way they could work their way toward the center of the center.

Finally, one person got all the way to the center. "I did it!" Troop exclaimed. He jumped in the hole.

He looked around. "There's no one in here," he screamed up. Soon he had realized he was trapped. Troop was just looking around the place because there was nothing else to do. Then he saw the chalkboard.

Yeah, it does seem weird that he would go and put his ear up to it. That part is later. Right now he just sees an erased word on it that he thought used to say "Password: open up."

Now he put his ear on the board. "They've got inside our hole," said Very. "They have gotten past our traps. You're such an idiot, Really. How could you bring the stupid police here?"

"Hey!" yelled Troop, "we're not stupid!"

From the moment Troop said his words, he regretted them. Very and Really figured out someone was eavesdropping on them. They came out of their little hideout in the hideout and jumped right on top of the troop whose name was Troop Trooper.

"Eavesdropper!" Really screamed. "Wow, I actually said a huge word. I mean, I thought I would have said 'SPY!' but I said 'Eavesdropper!'"

"We'll let you live now," said Very. "But if we catch you here again it's..." He moved his finger across his neck. "Now go back up to your friends, or do we need to throw you?"

Well, they threw him and little Troop got a little stuck. "Get me outta here!" he screamed. "HELP!!"

Yeah, he was stuck there for a while. To be exact, twenty-three minutes and thirty-four seconds. Very decided to turn the sticky stuff off. "I hope that gives them a message," Very said.

He flew up out of the plotting station and looked around. "All gone," he whispered. "Good."

Later Very and Really made a password to be able to get into the place. They made it for everything so they could continue his plan without having any more interruptions.

"Where are we going to get a mirror that big from?" Very asked himself. He still needed to answer some questions to himself before he got on with his plan. He especially needed to figure out how he was going to create the three things he needed for his plan.

The three things were: a space shuttle, a laser beam, and a giant mirror. He also needed a moonbase where he could breathe air. Oxygen, to be exact.

KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

КАВООМ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

КАВООМ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

КАВООМ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaboom!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boom!!!!!

Ka!!!

Boo!

Crackle, crackle, POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very realized these sounds. Someone - or something - was trying to break in.

"Those tries are worthless," Very told himself, "with the high-tech security wall system they'll never break into this place. Moo hoo hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..." - Very took a deep breath - "hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Really came quickly into the plotting center. "Evil," Really said, "I know you think that security system is the greatest of all the technology alive, but they seem to be cracking it up; literally."

Very ran out of the plotting center and took the elevator to New York City. He rushed out and took a look/sneaked a peak at the crumbled wall.

"They're in the hideout!" Very screamed.

He heard footsteps rush toward him. Then he used the latest of the latest of technology. A blue bubble surrounded the cops. It kept things from moving out of the bubble except for gases.

Then Very had an idea to keep the hideout safe. He used the bubble on the entrance. He used only half of the bubble. Then he stuck a password thing to the other side of the bubble. Then he freed the cops and threw them on the other side.

Not even the smartest person in the world could stop Very Evil and Really Bad now. Only the stupidest. And the smartest person in the universe, but let's not talk about that now.


Chapter 2 - Jerk, Dumb, and Stupid

Meet Jerk Krej. He is totally the smartest of the stupidest. Jerk is the only one out of the stupid to ever get a C-. In fact, he only got three Fs. Jerk likes to be called J and has a father that is involves with the government. Let us zoom in.

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Da da do da do da do da, dun dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! That is J's dad's wife's father's son's cousin's daughter's brother's dad's cell phone. Which is just basically J's dad's cell phone.

"Hello!" said J's dad cheerfully. He just came home from work with a few hundred-dollar bills. "Oh," he sunk into a bad mood. "I'll go there." He paused listening to the man on the other line. "With my son! Only my son! Why only my son? Fine. But why do I have to bring my son?" J could hear a rumpus on the other line. It seemed like the man's voice, but J was not sure. A few seconds after the loud commotion ended, J's dad said, "Okay," then he hung up.

"Come with me!" ordered J's dad.

J followed his dad's order by putting on his shoes and getting into the car.

*****

"We're here," announced J's dad. "Now get out!" J got out of the car. He followed his dad into a building. Inside the building, there was pandemonium just trying to get through the people! J and his dad finally (roughly after fifteen minutes) got to what they wanted to see.

Something was missing from its place. J noticed someone look at his dad and make eye contact. He grabbed J and took him to a room.

"We have three juice boxes here," someone said. "We want you to drink one. It is amazing juice, so you'll feel like you have the supernatural after you drink the juice. We only have three left in the whole world, because someone stole the display. Oh, and don't tell anyone. Keep it a secret."

J took the straw off the back of the box and stuck it through the aluminum. Then he drank.

After J heard the sounds of emptiness (SLURP!) J heard the man say, "Imagine you are a bird and you can fly up and touch the ceiling." J imagined and turned into a bird. J then actually turned into a bird as quick as a cheetah. J flew up to the ceiling and touched it, then fell and broke his arm.

"Ow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed J. J quickly revived and said "I'm okay."

If you read the last chapter (which unless you are a spoiler type of person you probably did) you would know people act strange after taking the juice. But because J was already stupid the side effects did not harm him.

J was a super-human now - nobody even knowing it.

J had to go back in the party. The man led him back to his dad.

"What did you do?" J's dad asked.

"Nothing," responded the man.

"I can tell you're lying," said J's dad.

"Mavbe Charlie" said Charlie's boss, who was the guy I was talking about all along.

"Well, Mr. Sullivan," said Charlie, "I don't like how you mysteriously took my son. Just tell me what you did. Wait. I'm receiving a message. It seems you have extra superpower juice and gave one package to my son. Uh. Um. The next message is not clear. It looks like I'm asking you a question. The question - oh no. Um. You put the superpower juice under your mattress and you gave my son the juice because he is one of the only people in the world who can resist the side effects. And I see you going back into your room and I see you..." He continued telling the future.

"My dad is physic?" asked J.

"Yes, it was a stupid experiment."

"I'm gonna get fired!" screamed Charlie.

"You're fired Charlie," said Mr. Sullivan.

*****

That next person we are going to zoom in on is Dumb Bmud.

B - as Dumb likes to be called - was a criminal. He was a criminal stupid-mind. He stole the superpower juice. Let us see how.

He stole the juice on the same night as J drank one box. B was a grapple person. He liked to stay up high. He would simply climb walls.

Anyways, B strived to get the juice. He wanted to touch the sky.  B was stupid too, so he did not know anything about outer space. B was the master of inside earth. So B planned the plot straight out. Let us zoom in now.

B pulled up the skylight window. He attached the grapple to the ceiling, and lowered himself down to the ground.

*Where is that juice?* B thought again and again in his mind as he searched for the superpower juice.

Finally after searching just about nothing, he found the leftover boxes.

*Two. Great.* He took a juice box and drank it. But because B had two side effects, he had to get rid of one.

He got rid of pure evil.

"AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Then he fainted.

À man came rushing into the room. It was Mr. Sullivan. He rushed to the sight. When he saw that B had just drank a juice box, he fainted too.

B woke up a little while later before Mr. Sullivan. B took the other juice box since he was only just shedding off evil.

*****

The last idiot, but not the least, is Stupid Diputs.

Stupid was just the ordinary idiot. Stu, as he likes to be called, got his powers when he was walking on the sidewalk. Stu was walking on it at night when he got the powers.

Stu was the technology expert for the idiots. He knew the most about technology. Stu would study cars all day and after that he would spend another day watching cars. Stu was a car watcher.

As I said before, Stu got his powers when he was on the sidewalk. Let us zoom right into his life.

Stu watched the cars pass and pass again over and over. In his head were thoughts of why the cars worked. He wondered every day, over and over.

He stayed on the sidewalk every day until the nighttime would come. Then when the Moon brightened the sky, and the light from the sun was gone, Stu would return home.

But one night, Stu did not return. He stayed at night, too fascinated by the car's inner mechanisms. So fascinated, he did not even hear the person climbing down from a building with the last superpower juice box.

B raced down the building with his grapple attached to a ledge. He needed to evacuate fast, or else he would be toast. B was running down the building, not realizing he was not holding the grapple. Then finally he realized it. That is when he realized two things: (a) he had superpowers and (b) he was not acting evil anymore.

Stu looked up from his car study. This is when he saw B. Stu's jaw opened up at the sight of B just flying down a building. Boy, did Stu want to try that.

As I said earlier, Stu's jaw dropped. That is one of the main reasons why Stu got the powers. That, and how the juice box got caught on a pipe.

Stu watched open-mouthed as the juice box got caught on a pipe and ripped. He stood there in awe as it spilled into his mouth. And tears of happiness trickled down his face because he would become famous among many people. But soon (chapter three) he will realize he will become more than just a person who can do the supernatural - not that he knows what that means. And he will discover that with great power comes great responsibility.

Anyways, back to story. Where were - oh yeah. He just swallowed the superpower juice and was about to test his powers out. He was thinking in his egg-sized brain: *I think I can, I really think l can fly. I believe I can fly. Just like that old song.*

And so he did. The end. Good story, don't you think. And - hold on. We have more. You're reading "Idiots are Superheroes" and you're definitely reading this after October 19, 2004. If you want I'll continue writing. I will. Back to story.

Stu flew in the air like he did not care whether his feet touched the ground - which he really did not. He flew so high to...

"Burrrr", Stu said. "It's really cold up here." Stu paused to quiver. "I-I wish I ha-had some hot cha-choc-chocolate." Stu froze in place mid-air, then started falling.

No one was aware Stu was falling. And someone needed to grab Stu before he reached the ground or else there would be a hole in the road with a dead guy with superpowers in it.

B was probably the only one aware that there was someone else who was stupid and obsessed with superpowers. He was also aware that this person flew up to the sky. Also, he was aware that there suddenly was a shooting star in the sky.

"I wish I could catch the star and become famous," he wished.

B watched as his wish started to come true (only the catching part of it). The star bent its path and B noticed it. Readers reading should notice I used the words "started to come true". But flame on the star began melting the ice. And as quick as a flash, Stu flew away from B when he was just a yard away.

B began crying. What a baby.

*****

You have not heard from J in a while. Let us see what he is doing.

"Mr. Sullivan, sir," said J, "um, why are you so angry?"

"BECAUSE!" he yelled. He breathed in and out with his mouth very loudly. Then he calmed his nerves and said, "Someone stole the other two superpower juice boxes. YOU HEAR THAT! SOME CRAZY PERSON STOLE THE - ", but Mr. Sullivan did not finish because J interrupted him.

"Okay," he said, "I get it. But you know that if someone is totally evil that they will turn good. But why haven't the other people turned themselves in if they were evil?" Then he knew. The other people were not totally evil. They must have been only part evil or something.

You know, talking about all this evil stuff is making me wonder: 

IS THERE ANYTHING TOO EAT?

I did that to catch your attention, fast readers. And if you noticed the typo with "to", then you are really paying attention. Now I will give you a treat. I will let you know what Very and Really are doing.

*****

Very thought no one in the world could stop him. But he was wrong. But he did not know that yet. So he thought putting a hole at the entrance leading into a pit full of lava would be fun to see someone fall into.

"Moo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha!" he laughed. "I can't wait to see someone go and fall in. Moo hoo ha ha ha ha ha!"

But as Very was tightening the last screw on his evil plot (not literally), Really burst into the room with a newspaper and threw it at Very. Very looked at the cutout article and screamed, "SOMEONE HAS SUPER POWERS BESIDES US! I'LL STOP THOSE LITTLE IDIOTS WITH MY BARE HANDS. I'LL DESTROY THEM! YES! I'LL DESTROY THEM! I'll squash them with my feet. I'Il - Ahem - I'll stomp them with my feet. They'll never get past me."

Very dropped his heavy breathing at that point. He calmed himself down. Very took one deep breath, and then he fainted (literally).

Very awoke at the sight of Neil Armstrong. Neil said to Very, "Don't destroy the Moon. That juice made you evil. Overcome that, Very. You can do it. Remember two decades ago, how you hated evil so much? Well, believe that."

Very realized he was on the Moon. But what was Neil talking about; destroy the Moon? Why would he want to do that? He wanted to use the Moon to destroy the Earth. Sheesh. No one understands anything around - wait. This has to be a dream. How could I be on the Moon without a weird bubble over my head that supplies oxygen?

After thinking that, Very awoke from his dream.

He got up and saw that he was back behind the chalkboard. He opened it, but something held him back. 

It was Really. Really warned Very, "There're back out there! The police have a spy rocket. DON'T GO OUT! Please DON'T GO out. And I'm warning you here. THEY'LL CATCH YOU. So don't say I DIDN'T warn you."

Very looked out and saw the spy rocket. It looked very fragile and looked like it needed someone to smash it dead. The red rocket was going to meet its doom.

Very climbed out of the chalkboard and shut it. Then he took out his fist and waited for the rocket to come into position.

"That's it," Very whispered. "Very slowly now. I'm waiting for you. Come meet the fury of my fists." He laughed at his words. He laughed so hard that he did not notice the rocket coming into position like in his plan.

Then right in front of Very was the rocket. Very eyed it and tried to smash it, but he was laughing too hard. Very got a little more serious by the second but he was still laughing.

SMASH! The rocket was destroyed. Very wondered how the rocket had gotten into the place anyway...

Very woke up at the sight of the scary newspaper. Just the title made him scream in horror. Then he said to Really, "Is this a dream?"

Really answered, "No, it's not."

"How can I be sure?" questioned Very

"Like this!" Really punched Very in the stomach and Very hit the wall. "Ow," said Very. "There really is pain."

*****

And now let's zoom back in on B and Stu because J is having a boring time.

Stu flew in the sky flying to get away from B. Stu was afraid that B would catch him and destroy him. Then Stu got an idea.

From watching the cars twenty-four-seven everyday, Stu knew cars were dangerous if it was going fast and someone hit it. So Stu landed on the street and waited for a car to come.

Right on timing a car came. Stu waited for B to try to tackle him and then jumped off the road.

BANG! A car hit B. That had to have been a horrible experience. Also a painful one too.

B got up in revenge and then settled down. It was his fault that he tried to catch the star. B realized this all in a second before he had to go to the clink. You know; the big house, the slammer, jail. B should have never made a dent in the car.


Chapter 3 - They Meet

J walked outside. Police were everywhere. Reporters were there too. *What's going on*, thought J.

J walked up to a cop and said, "What's going on? Was there an accident or something??"

"I don't know," said the cop. "I just arrest people when I'm set off to. I mean, it looks like a car accident but there's only one car. I'll go check with my buddy - oh wait! He works for the arresting people too. You better go ask THE BOSS."

"And he is-?" asked J.

"The dude up there is THE BOSS," the cop told J. He pointed to the dude up there. "Go see him and he'll tell you everything."

J walked up the platform. He walked up to the dude on the platform and asked, "Are you the boss?"

"I'm THE BOSS," said the dude.

"That's what I said," said J.

"Noooooo," said THE BOSS. "You said Santa Clause."

"I did?" wondered J. "Well, I..."

"Never mind," said THE BOSS. "You're Jerk Krej, right?"

"That's not what my undies say," answered J. "They say HANES."

"Well Jerk," started THE BOSS, "your..."

"It's J," corrected J. "Keep it real."

"Okay J," said THE BOSS. "Your dad was leaving and he - he - he got into an accident."

He crashed into thin air," said J. "He's stupider than I am."

"No," explained the dude with capitals for his name. "He was pushed by someone. He goes by the name of - can I get a close-up magnified by three here and a dun dun dun? Thanks." First the camera zoomed in by three. Then there was a dun dun dun.

"As I was saying," said THE BOSS, "Your dad's hurter goes by the name of - dun dun dun - Dumb Bmud. Weird name, huh? Sounds just like your - never mind. Your dad's at the hospital. He's the first room on the right on the second..." but J was already gone.

*****

Stu watched from a large building the scene around him. B was being carried away and someone was racing down a street jumping over cars. Stu knew the person being carried away was innocent. Stu needed to prove it.

Stu flew around following the police car. B was taken to the MCPE Prison. MCPE stands for the Most Crazy Prison Ever. You want to know why?

Stu flew over the prison. The prison was half on land and half off land. The prison was made on a cliff.

*****

B was thrown into a jail cell. He hit the steel wall at the end and B felt something tilt a little bit. Then more. Something bad was about to happen.

"The prison's tipping over!" B screamed.

Outside, Stu watched the prison tilt over the edge. If I can fly, maybe I have super strength. Stu flew under the prison and lifted it back onto partially on the ground.

Then, Stu fell.

*****

J hurried into the hospital. He ran down the hall and ran into the first room on the right. No one was there.

J gasped. Then a nurse walked in. It was J's mom.

"What you gasping about? Didn't you momma ever teach you to go see your daddy on the second floor?" she said.

"Dad's on the second floor?" questioned J.

"Of course!" J's mom said. "Let me show you the way. Let's hold hands now, you don't wanna be lost, do ya?" 

J's mom led J to his dad's room. J's mom quickly left.

J looked at his dad. He looked the way he usually looked - with his eye.

J's dad looked great - he never needed glasses and he was extremely healthy.

Anyways, J's dad was in perfectly fantastic shape. He had no bruises, scratches, cuts, booboos; nothing that would cause pain to his dad.

"What's wrong with you?" J asked.

"Nothing," J's dad replied.

"Then why are you here?" asked J.

"The people think I have a mental problem and they won't let me go until I say that the guy who caused this accident is guilty of all charges," said J's dad.

"He's innocent?" J asked.

"Someone else was there," said J's dad. "He made the guy crash into my car."

"Hey," said J, "can you write 'Dumb is innocent from J's dad' on this piece of paper?"

J's dad did. "Thanks!" exclaimed J. J jumped out the window.

*****

B was realizing he was lucky to be alive. He was never going to go to the back of the cell again. But B wondered who saved him.

BOOM! A hand broke through the steel of the prison cell's back wall. *Why didn't I think of punching through solid steel?*

"Come on," said J to B. "You're Dumb, right? I'm J. Leave this note here."

"J," corrected B, "my name's B, not Dumb. I use the first letter of my last name as my name."

"Let's get out of here," recommended J. "Hey narrator! I'm not recommending it! I mean it!"

"Sorry," said the not-really-meaning-it narrator.

"Anyways," as J was saying, "We'll fly out. Some guy gave me superpower juice."

"I had some superpower juice too," said B.

Just then, another person came through the hole J made. It was Stu.

"Hello," greeted Stu. "I'm Stu. And I can fly because I had superpower juice."

"Hey!" exclaimed J. "Why don't we all work together? We can call ourselves The Idiot Trio. We'll be known as TIT. We can be superheroes and we can save the world from..."

"Very Evil and Really Bad," finished B.

"It says they're planning something evil in the newspaper. We should make up a plan to stop them."

"But first we should get out of this dump," said Stu.

"Good thinking." complimented J.

*****

Stu was down in a stream under the jail. He flew up to the jail and saw there was a hole in the jail. Stu looked through it.

"But first we should get out of this dump," said Stu. *What the - ?. I know I don't have a clone. And I know I'm not dreaming because... OW! I'm not dreaming. Maybe I should knock the copy out. Then I can see who he really is.*

"Good thinking," complimented J.

*This is my chance.* Stu's clone had his back to the hole. Stu made a fist and punched the back of his clone like a guy getting revenge on a person who killed him (which I'm not sure if that is possible).

The clone flew to the front of the jail cell and he hit the bars. Stu flew in and watched as his clone started changing into someone else.

"I'm the real Stupid Diputs," announced Stu. "I like to be called Stu and that person over there is..."

"Really Bad!" exclaimed B.

"Yeah, I know," said Stu.

"No," corrected B, "his name is Really Bad."

"So what's his name?" asked Stu.

"REALLY BAD IS HIS @!#%$#& NAME!!!!!!!" yelled B.

"Dude," said J, "don't swear in children's books."

"So his name's Really Bad," said Stu in a just-realizing-it way.

"YES!" shouted B.

"Listen guys, we need a plan," said J. "One of us needs to change into Really and spy on Very."

"I'll do that," announced Stu. "He becomes me, I become him."

"We'll save that part for later," told J. "But for now, we should say we have Really hostage and we're not giving him back until you both get rid of your powers and destroy your base."

Just then, Reaily got up and struck J with his fist. J went flying toward the hole that he punched out. J was knocked through it and started falling down toward the stream.

"J's not awake!" panicked B. "I have to wake him up. But how? Water!" B ran to the back wall and kicked it as hard as he could. Then the prison tipped over the edge.

It fell faster than J and landed in the stream. SPLASH! The jail hit water. Then B lifted the jail from the inside back up to the cliff.

Anyways, J woke up by the water. He saw himself falling. He quickly rose up from his spot and flew into the hole in the prison.

"You!" yelled J. "You better not try that again." And with that, J put Really unconscious by his incredible punch.

*****

"We need to set up a base," said J, flying in the air carrying Really. "How about my house in my room?"

"Okay," said Stu, "but I need to have dinner with my family every night. If I don't, they ground me for a year and I have come to dinner at exactly at six o'clock. Someone watches me in my room and makes sure I do nothing in there except sleep and think and something that's 'productive'."

"I have nothing important in my life," said B. "After I was left in the cold I had to live on my own. Now I have to work with you guys or else I'll have to steal again."

"Well, we got it settled," said J. "Be in my room at six-thirty."

"I'll be in my house until then," said Stu.

"I'll be in my secret cave that no one except me knows about until then," said B.

"Wait!" yelled J. "B, you take Really. It is a lot easier to hide an unconscious body in a secret cave than a closet that your mom looks into every single day."

"Are there any double days?" asked B. "What about triple days?"

"SHUT UP!" yelled J.

*****

Very waited for Really to return, but Really did not. "What's taking him so long?" wondered Very.

Very looked at his blue bubble. It was partly clear, so Very could see through it. A note tumbled down to the ground. Very walked out of his base and picked it up. He entered the code and walked back in.

Then he read the note. "If you ever want to see Really again, then surrender your powers and give up your scheme."

"NEVER!" yelled Very.

Then, like magic, more words appeared on the paper. "Then prepare to face the consequences."

"Where are you keeping him?" asked Very.

More words appeared. "In a cave right to the west of New York City."

"I'm going there," said Very.

"Good," read the paper.

*****

B, J, and Stu met at their base. B was the first to talk, saying, "You think he'll actually go to the cave and fall in our trap?"

"Definitely," said J. "If he doesn't, then that means he doesn't care a bit about Really. I mean, I... I don't know what I mean."

"Let's get down to business," continued J. We have three people in TIT and we need a leader and two other positions. We're gonna vote on it. You can't vote for yourself and must vote once exactly. So all in favor of me being leader, raise your hand."

Both Stu's and B's hand rose. "So I'm president," said J.

"Can I be gadget designer/leader?" asked B.

"Sure," said J.

"I'll be mechanics leader and creator," said Stu.

"Good," said J. "We got our positions. Now I'm going to get something to eat." J left the room.

"Wait," said Stu. "Aren't we going to yell out our name like complete idiots?"

"Oh yeah," said J. "To TIT!"

"To gadgets!" yelled B.

"To mechanics!" yelled Stu.

"To TIT!" they all yelled.

Then Stu yelled, "The Incredible Trio!"

"TIT doesn't stand for The Incredible Trio," said J. "It stands for The Idiot Trio."

"Well," said Stu, "that works too."

*****

Very flew up to the cave he was directed to go to. "This is it?" he wondered. "This looks more like a trap than a hideout. Whoever made this must be really good at disguising stuff. 1f I didn't know better, I would think this guy is on my side."

Very entered the cavern. "It's pretty creepy in here," he said to himself. He walked deep into the tunnel, but saw nothing. "I think I better be turning back."

But then there was a loud KACHOOM! Rocks blocked the way out, which was behind Very. "Now I have to travel deeper," he muttered hopelessly.

He walked deeper into the cave. After successfully walking many miles, Very saw light. Very walked closer and closer. But then there was a KRISEL!

KRACKLE! KRISKEL! KRISEL! The cave was caving in on the other side! Very ran faster, but it seemed as if the faster he went, the faster the rocks would crumble down. Very was a foot away from victory when the last stones fell, trapping Very inside the creepy cavern.

"No!" Very cried. "I'm trapped!" Very took a step backward from his position, and amazingly, some of the rocks lifted up. Something gave Very the feeling that this avalanche was mechanical.

Very stepped backward many steps, and the more he went back, the more the rocks lifted.

Finally, all the rocks disappeared. Very hovered over the ground to the exit. He exited. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" he shouted.

BOOM! A cage dropped on Very. Very was lifted into the air. "Help!" Very screamed. "Get me out of here!"

*****

J said to B, "What should we do to him?"

"Force him to give up his powers," answered B.

"No," suggested Stu. "I think we should keep him in the cage until he surrenders."

"What!?" yelled Very. "I'll never surrender! You'lI NEVER beat me! Oh, and..." The cage was hanging in the air by a rope. So Very punched the floor of the cage and yelled, "So long, suckers! Ha ha ha! Mwah ha ha! Ha ha mwah! Moo hoo ha ha ha!" Very immediately flew away from his cage. "You'll never catch me in billion nanoseconds."

"Well," said J, "time's up."

"I thought you guys are supposed to be idiots," said Very. "You were in the neighborhood's news and, oh wait. Neighborhood newspaper. Wait! I was in Arizona XYZ Asteroid Prison!"

"*That* prison?" laughed J. "That prison thinks it's in New York. They think the title there is New York XYZ Asteroid Prison. The people there are really stupid too. They don't even go after escaped convicts. Wow! I said a vocab word for my mental exam. I'm gonna pass the test!"

J started singing. "I'm gonna pass the test, yeah! I'm gonna pass the test, yeah! I'm gonna pass the test y'all. I'm gonna pass the test. Everybody clap their hands! Here we go! I'm gonna pass the test, yeah! I'm gonna pass the test! I'm gonna start dancing now!" J started dancing the Ancient Egyptian dance. You know, the one where you put one hand above your waist and the other people and you slowly move forward, moving both hands back and forth. "I'm gonna pass the test! My mental test! Piano! I'm gonna pass the test! I'm gonna pass it! Yeah! Drum solo!" J stopped singing, waiting for the drummer to finish his solo. You know, BANG BA BA BANG! BOOM! BOOM! "I'm gonna pass my test Yeah! I'm gonna pass my test! Everyone sing!" Now not just J sang, but the pianist sang, the drummer, B, Stu, and the keyboard guy sang. "I'm gonna pass my test! I'm gonna pass my test! Yeah!" 

Very couldn't stand the music. "I'm getting out of this place!" Very flew away.

"He has no idea of our trap," B whispered to the others.

"What trap? asked J, Stu and Very. (The drummer, pianist and keyboard guy had to go to a big concert.)

Just then, Very got caught in an invisible net. "Yes!" exclaimed B.

"No!" exclaimed Very as he started falling down. Just to let you know, the cave led to near the Grand Canyon. So Very was falling a long way down.

Very tried breaking the net's strings apart. After failing to do so, Very yelled, "What kind of net is this?"

Then Very realized that there was not a top on the net. "Losers," whispered Very. He did a semi-backflip out of the net and yelled, "To my hideout and beyond!"

Very smashed through the ground in a time that felt like milliseconds. Very flew as fast as he could downward. He finally reached his destination in a time that felt like seconds. CLING!

What the-?" wondered Very. But then Very realized that the metal of his hideout was too strong.

Since Very had plunged down far through the ground, and dirt surrounded every part of Very; Very was stuck, and no one would rescue him.


Chapter 4 - The Toss

"Guys," asked J, "Want to go to the world wide egg toss that says it will start whenever TIT gets there?"

"Why would we want we want to go there?" asked Stu. "We have all the time in the world."

"And besides J," said B, "we've decided we want to go to another toss instead. A dynamite toss."

"Are you guys idiots?" yelled J. "That stuff could get us killed!"

"Yes," said Stu and B.

"You guys are such idiots," said J.

"You're an idiot too," said B.

"Yes, I know," said J. "But I'm definitely not that stupid."

"What stupid?" asked Stu.

*****

And so they were off to see the toss, the wonderful toss of dynamite. Moo hoo ha ha ha!

"So we're here," said J. "The dynamite toss. But don't you guys realize that these explosives could kill someone?"

"Listen," B whispered to J, "we're not here to have fun. J, there are supposed to be four people here, but we captured Really. So Very should arrive any minute now."

"Who are the other guys?" asked Stu.

"Well," answered B, "the skinny but muscular one is D. The fat guy is T."

So the band of super idiots waited for Very to turn up. They waited and waited, but he never did.

Suddenly, a guy yelled, "Everyone participating in the toss please join up with a member. Don't join up with a buddy because then he'll explode. Now let me explain the rules..."

While the instructions were being told by the guy, TIT was having a discussion too. "Wait a minute!" yelled J to the other TIT members. "The other guy will blow up. I thought we were just going to..."

"J," said B, "We're going to make a dynamite potion cabinet. You know how to do those, right? Okay, on the count of three. One...two...three!"

Instantly blue electricity came out of their hands. They formed a sphere in the middle of them, and the sphere soon started to change shapes. The sphere gradually transformed into a rectangular prism. Glass enclosed the inside, which was jam-packed with potions that were all labeled. Each one said something different, like "Copy Dynamite" or "Replica Dynamite" or "Bigger Explosion".

"There it is," said B. "Replica dynamite." He took the cabinet over to the chest next to the guy who was talking. He silently opened the chest. B gently opened the dynamite cabinet. But then, the bigger explosion potion fell out of the cabinet and smashed over all the TNT in the chest.

*****

Still stuck in the ground, Very was sick of waiting for someone to rescue him. He knew, of course, that know one would come, and the chances of someone rescuing him were too slim to be true. He had to do something.

So he decided to try to melt the metal. Very made steam evaporate out his fingers. A red-hot heat was leaving his fingers. "One hundred degrees F!" he shouted in excitement. "One thousand degrees F! "Two thousand F! Three thousand F! Four thousand F! Five thousand C!"

At that moment, Very hit the ground. "I did it!" he echoed. But as Very looked up to see how big his hole was, he realized the hole that he was looking at was not his. Well, it was. Only this hole was the one he made earlier. There was no heat-made hole. Very was not in his hideout. Very looked down at the metal ground. It was so metalized that it would not melt. Very put his hand on it. The metal was still cold.

But Very wondered how he standing up instead of clogged in dirt. Then Very realized he must have melted the dirt!

Very took off from his spot. He needed to get to his annual dynamite toss. "If I can get there on time, it would be a miracle," he said unhopefully. "I hope they don't start without me. I just hope I can make it to New York City on time." And as Very flew as fast as he could to NYC, TIT was having problems of their own.

*****

"You smashed the "Bigger Explosion" potion over the dynamite!" yelled J. "You idiot!"

"It was by accident!" explained B. "And I can't use the "Replica" on it now because it would explode the Earth!"

"So you're going to let them use the explosives anyway!?" yelled J. "Give me that cabinet! I'm going to save the day!"

J swiped the dynamite cabinet and said, "You guys go be in the toss. I've got to go." He walked over to the chest bursting with dynamite. He dropped in the "Replica Dynamite" potion and took out all the genuine dynamite and left the phony explosives behind.

J flew toward the sky, knowing that the dynamite belonged better away from the planet than on it.

*****

"I'll take D and you'll take T," said B to Stu.

B walked up to D. The muscular man started out with the false flop. He started the sham and threw it to the air. B caught it and quickly slammed the shell back to his irritated enemy. The tipsy toss went on and on until the flames reached the finish.

Stu on the other hand was having a toss of his own. The fat fellow flung the flop into the soaring sky. The flop fell into his hands. He fastly flung it back to the overweight idiot. And the weird and wild contest went to a conclusion.

"Why didn't it explode?" yelled D and T. I'm gonna kill them people!"

"Now, now," said a guy on a platform. "We don't want to kill anybody yet. We don't want to be violent. Very and Really were probably just testing their plan. You don't want them to die if their plan won't fail."

"I guess you're right." said T. "But them idiots don't look like the Very and that Really like I can remember. They look like imposters! I just saw Very and Really yesterday. Get into angry mob form everyone. KILL THE IMPOSTERS!"

*****

J flew up and up. He was almost to the earth's atmosphere. And when J did reach it, everything went hot.

J felt pain everywhere. He could not give up on the world. He needed to save the world. J knew that each breath he took could be his last. Suddenly, J was blinded! J only had one option left. He had to throw the dynamite up. J threw the explosives into the atmosphere and the TNT burnt to a crisp. Then J lost control of everything and fell down to the ground.

*****

B and Stu looked down a towering cliff. There was a lake in which they could jump down to with jagged rocks surrounding it. "Do you think we'll live if we jump?" asked B. So they jumped and they thought they might land dead.

*****

Very flew overhead the New York cliffs. "An angry mob!" he shouted in excitement. He dove down to see who was falling down the cliff but something hit him in the back. It was J!

Very fell with the superhero down the cliffs. Very screamed, causing J to wake up. He flew off the back of Very and up toward the top of the cliff. Then he was hit in the back by two people jumping off a cliff.

"What the heck are you guys doing here?" questioned J.

"An angry mob chased us," explained B.

"Let's share the last seconds of our life in silence," said Stu.

"Stu, you can fly!" yelled J. And so J grabbed the other idiots and barged into the cliff wall.

Inside was an arrangement of computers and technology all over. Something evil was about to happen.

*****

Very flew up to the top of the cliff. On his way up, he saw a hole leading into his lab. "My lab, out!" he yelled. Then he started flying up again.

*****

"Very's going to find us!" panicked J. He dived out of the hole in the cliff. Then he was caught by Very.

"I found you," he said. "Now I'm going to take you hostage."

Very flew away with J, laughing, "Moo hoo ha ha ha!"

Very flew to his hideout. If TIT takes Really hostage then Evil will take hostage J. But even if Very got Really back, he would keep J hostage.

*****

"We need to get J back," said B to Stu. "J needs to be saved. We need vehicles, Stu. And fast! I'll make disguises and gadgets."

B walked away and looked for rubber. He found a few sources of rubber including bouncy balls, a computer screen made of clear rubber, and a stretching machine that used rubber. B took the rubber and looked for tools of sculpting.

B looked for a carver of some sort. He found some erasersand took that source of rubber. Soon B came across a tool with a sharp edge that was used for carving. He took it.

B then placed all the rubber he found in a pile. He had to find a way to connect all of the rubber. So he looked around for an oven.

Soon, B found a kitchen. He looked in a cabinet and took out a very large pan. He carefully placed each type of rubber next to another piece of rubber. Then he stuck the pan in the oven and cooked it.

It turned out to be a huge mish-mash of colors. He waited for a little while for the rubber to cool down a little bit, then started carving.

He split the rubber into three parts to make three masks. Then he made an oval shape for each one. He left the extra rubber on the side unless he needed it again. 

B next started carving out the eyes. He had to do this very carefully so no one would notice that the mask was actually a mask.

B carved out the noses after that. He pulled out the skin to make a nose. Then he made two nostrils, so whoever was wearing it could breathe.

He carved the mouth next. It was fairly easy. He simply cut a hole where a mouth should be in all three masks.

Lastly he created the hair, which was extremely difficult. He had to make hundreds and hundreds of hair on each mask. Although it took a while, he got the job done. He made sure the hair was soft, and then he went to find some coloring utensils.

He went back to the room which held the erasers, and there he found paint, colored pencils, and crayons. He could not use paint because it would harden. Crayons and colored pencil would not work, in which they would not show up. He found markers and oil pastels. The markers would come off, including the permanent ones. The oil pastels would smudge. What B needed was a computer. A computer could transform almost anything into almost any color.

B quickly collected the masks and the extra rubber to the computer section. All the computers were taken except for one. "Stu," B thought.

B sat down at the only computer and booted it up. There was a password to get in, though. B quickly thought of a password an evil person would make up. *Evil spelled backwards, duh*, B thought. *So it's l-i-v-e. That spells live.* Amazingly, the password was live.

B searched for a program on the desktop that could do such a thing as change a color that was outside the computer. More amazingly, there was a program that could do just that, if it was not lying. It was called "The Program That Can Do Anything."

B double-clicked on the program. The program said "search" at the beginning of it, and B typed in just what he wanted to do. Soon the program came up with a screen saying, "Scanning, please wait." It actually did say that out loud too. A camera shaped object came out of the computer. It sent out a red line that had the same length of all three masks. The red line quickly fell from the top of the masks, to the base of the mask. On the computer screen, the computer showed the masks in the color that they were outside the computer.

B saw a tool bar at the top of the screen. It had a box that was filled with many different colors mixed together. You could move an arrow across it and the current color of the masks would change (not the ones on the outside of the computer).

B clicked on a color that matched his skin. He then made a color for the lips, and then the hair. Then B wondered something. *Why am I making disguises if I can already change form?* B then thought back. He remembered how the back of the box listed how much power someone could use. He knew that the superpowers would expire sometime. So he needed to save his powers for a while until he needed to use them. Pretty soon B finished and he clicked on a button. The red line appeared at the top of the masks again, and it slowly moved down the masks, changing its color along the way.

Finally B was done with the masks. Now he had to move onto the gloves. But before that B had to check if his mask was any good. He stretched a mask over his face and looked in a mirror. He looked perfect.

*****

Stu first needed a computer for his work. It could tell him the right information. After finding a computer he found that it had a password, which was no surprise to Stu. Stu thought about it. "Evil spelled backwards!" he yelled.

He typed in "live" and the computer went to its main screen. Stu clicked on a certain program that could do anything. He typed in "I want to know how to make a car and three motorcycles, in which the motorcycles can fit in the back of the car."

Then the computer replied out loud, "Give all the other computers to me. You know, rip them out. Do it!"

Stu did. The computer made them disappear, and in a few seconds the computer screen displayed three motorcycles and a car. Stu changed the car into a regular car because it was a Lexus. He changed it into a mini-van.

The motorcycles would just always be noticeable so Stu did not bother to change them. Then he quickly packed the motorcycles in a secret stash in the car and clicked on "done."

The car abruptly appeared next to Stu. Stu logged off, and then he got in the car and drove into another room. Then he saw B's grapple on the ground.

It was very rusty. "I can work on this until B is done," Stu thought.

*****

"Guards!" yelled Very. "After we destroy the world, let's destroy the Moon! Moo hoo ha ha ha!"


Chapter 5 - The Rescue

"Keep the pedal to the metal, Stu!" yelled B. "We've got no time for the speed limit!"

Thirty seconds later...

"The coppers are after us!" screamed B. "We'll never make it out alive...if you don't keep the pedal to the metal!"

"But the coppers are after us!" yelled Stu.

"Go off that jump!" ordered B, completely ignoring Stu.

"That's not a jump!" screamed Stu. "That's the rising edge of the bridge when a sail boat is going through! It's gonna get higher and higher until we're gonna slide down!"

But Stu kept the pedal to the metal. He went off the bridge. "Are we alive?" asked Stu while the car was in the air.

CRASH! The car landed safely on the bridge. No one could stop B and Stu from rescuing J. B and Stu would make it to New York City.

*****

J was led to a small room with a small pole in the middle of it. On the pole was an axe. The axe was level with J's head. In a few seconds after J was pushed in the chamber, the axe swung around. J ducked his head.

Every time the axe made a full circle around, the axe would swing faster and faster. But J just kept his head down.

Then the axe overheated. It slammed down to the wooden floor. This was J's chance to escape.

"Why did you make this floor wooden?" asked Very. "Guards, get him!"

J was caught before he could escape. He was taken back to his regular prison. J needed to escape.

*****

"I've got the speeding-and-not-caring-guys tracked down," said a policeman into his radio. "They are running into the Empire State Building."

The cop ran into the building. The elevator door was closing and B and Stu were in it. The cop could not make it in time. So he took another elevator.

The cop came out at the top floor. B and Stu were running past a door that said "Do not enter" and making their way to the rooftop.

"Not so fast!" yelled the cop. He rushed up the stairs to the rooftop. No one was there. "Come out!" he yelled. "I know you're here!"

*****

B and Stu were not there though. They had already spun their way down the spiral staircase. They would rescue J.

B hit a blue substance. He could not go through the entrance.

B saw that a password machine was next to the entrance. B thought Very had changed his password by now, so B thought, *I've got it! It's "evil" spelled backwards backwards! That spells evil.*

B typed the password in. I've got eleven words for what happened. It was wrong and sirens went off and it was loud.

Stu spotted a hole in the wall. He grabbed B and jumped in it. They started falling.

"We're falling into a pit of freezing cold lava!" screamed Stu.

"No duh," said B. "And we can fly. So either we fall in the freezing lava, or we fly and live. Which would you take?"

"Hmmm..." thought Stu. "I'll take the first or second one."

"I'll just fly you," said B. He grabbed Stu and flew up. B turned around to exit out the hole but it was paved up. "How the-?" he wondered.

B flew in the other direction. He thought there could be a back way out.

Lika a miracle, B was correct. He crawled through a small hole and was in a small room. And like a strange coincidence, J was in the room.

"J, let's get out of here," said B. "The whole country is after us and they've probably placed some device on us so..."

"YOU WHAT!?" yelled J in a questioning way. "And who are you anyway?"

Just then a guard heard J. He ran to J's cell and yelled out loud, (not in his head) "Very, the guests are here!"

Very rushed to the scene. He saw J and two other guys. "Who are you two?" he asked. Then he realized something. "The only way you could have entered is you can fly. And since I see no jet-packs or propeller hats, then you must have superpowers! And only six people in the world have them. Me, Really, Tim Jones, Stu, B and J. I have found you two in disguises. Now change your form."

"But we rode in on a pocket plane and it fell in the pit of lava," said Stu.

"Likely story!" yelled Very. "Now unless you tell me where Really is, *maybe* I'll let you three be in peace."

"Well maybe he's wearing a disguise like us, and he's somewhere in Arizona not knowing where he is, because he has no holes for his eyes, so he can't see anything," said Stu. B glared at Stu angrily.

"Wait!" yelled J. "Why did you, Very, say 'maybe' in italics?"

"BECAUSE I ACTUALLY MEAN THAT!"

J and B and Stu sat back and waited. They had to just wait until they were given torture.

"Torture up!" yelled Very. But wait, where was TIT? They had gone out the secret passage. "NO!" screamed Very.

*****

The cop who had come to arrest B and Stu was still on the roof. Stu and B realized this, so they took off their masks.

"Not in there," said J. J walked out with B and Stu, and together they jumped off the incredibly tall structure.

"That was crazy of them," said the cop. He walked to where the other men exited and found a door to the toxic "Furnace Room." The sign read, "KEEP OUT! YOU'LL GET YOURSELF KILLED." Below the bloody skull read, "YOU'LL DIE A HORRIBLE AND PAINFUL DEATH, JUST LIKE THAT BOY HARRY POTTER!"

"Harry Potter didn't die!" yelled the cop. "Well, at least not yet. I've haven't even finished the sixth book yet. Something smells suspicious. And it's not the toxical waste furnace at all."

He kicked opened the door and found a horribly annoying stairwell that curled its way down for a few hundred feet. This wasn't actually the door to the furnace room.

When the cop finally got to the bottom he saw a blue semi-bubble. A blue lock. Something fishy was going on.

Just then Very came out of nowhere and knocked the cop through his hole that led to a lava pit. I think I know what you are thinking. But no, he took out a pocket plane and exited the entrance to the lava pit.

"You're under arrest!" he chanted. But Very was prepared for this. He was too prepared. He got out his special shoot-down-a-pocket-plane gun and shot the cop. But the gun lied. It shot the pocket plane upward. The cop screamed as loud as his mother (who screamed louder than his father (who could scream and break a piece of cement in half with his voice)).

*****

TIT's car was given a full examination from top to bottom. TIT fell down. Stu said, "Chop chop. I think we should give this car's gadgets a try, right?" Stu pressed a button on his clicker and made his car spring out three cool motorcycles. Each member of TIT hopped on and zoomed away.

Yes, TIT did have a destination. The secret cave of B's was their destination. That would be the base of TIT.

*****

Very was furious. TIT had gotten away. "I like their stupid name," he said. "It definitely fits the stupidness of themselves. Maybe we should get a name. Evil Incorporated presents The Double D: The Dynamite Duo."

A peasant walked up to him and said, "You stole that named from T and D."

"Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?" said Very.

*****

"Shoot!" yelled Stu. "I'm almost out of gas!"

BOOM! The sound of gunfire is really loud. And B-mud did it. B fired a really loud shotgun.

J said, "Stu didn't actually mean shoot, B."

Actually J, gunpowder is sort of like fuel to these things," explained Stu.

"But isn't gunpowder highly flammable?" asked J.

"Is he actually an idiot?" asked Stu.

"I was firing it at one of the two police vehicles that were behind us," said B. "Believe me, I am totally pro, and I'm a nice guy."

"But I see no police cars behind us now," said J.

"My fellow idiot," explained B, who was looking at J and not concerned about his guaranteed safe policy whatsoever: *You'll live for at least another year if you buy his baby; hurry and get rid of this thing before a year is up or you will die.* "I shot the wheel of one car, and it crashed into the other one."

"But there was no one even in the vehicles and they weren't moving," said J.

"Oh," said B.

"IS ANYONE CONCERNED WITH OUR GAS BEING LOW!?" yelled Stu.

FART! This was J's turn to be an idiot. "Mine isn't. I just farted."

"We can stop at a gas station," said B. "I have a credit card."

"Where did you get that?" asked Stu.

"Where do you think I got my shotgun?" questioned B.

"Bikini dancers?" answered J.

"No, that's where I got my credit card," said B. "I got my shotgun by getting a permit."

So TIT stopped at a gas station. Ye olde Stu started filling the gas. And yo B and J ran inside to buy some crazy shiznit. As it all flips over, B had another buying machine: cash from an ATM.

"I'll take that shelf over there," ordered B, "that contains itching powder, a fake nail, an auto exhaust whistle, fake blood, an exploding chap stick, and a handshake shocker."

B paid for everything and then headed out. While Stu wasn't doing a very good job, he did get it done. Then TIT left on their motorcycles.

The owner of the gas station came out of his store and lit a cigarette. Since gas is flammable, it blew up. So remember kids, never smoke. You never know what is bursting to explode.

*****

Very landed in a cave. He found a bag and untied it. Inside was Really. Really was not wearing a disguise so what was the last mask for?

"Who are you?" said Really. He slapped Very across the rubber. Oh, that's where it went.

*****

TIT had to get to B's cave to make up plans. Unfortunately, the cops were on their tail.

"GUYS!" yelled J, "KEEP THE PEDAL TO THE METAL!"

They all kept the pedal to the metal, going two-hundred miles per hour. The cops sped up. "Turn right!" yelled J, although he knew the cave was to the left. All of TIT turned right, heading toward a cliff.

As the trio sped toward the cliff, rocks fell down the extra steep walls of the cliff. The idiots all pressed down their pedal harder.

TIT flew off the cliff but they did not make it to the other side of the cliff. They started to fall.

"We're gonna die!" screamed Stu and B.

"Guys, we can fly," said J. So J picked up all the motorcycles in his right arm, and his fellow superheroes in his left. Oh, and don't ask how. J then transported to B's cave.

Very was still in the cave. "So TIT," said Very, "we meet again." Very took out a dueling glove and threw it on the ground.

"Dropped this," said J as he picked up the glove.

Very charged for J. Stu and B took Really.

"B," whispered Stu, "we have to lure him to another part of the cave so we can put fake blood on him and put a fake nail on him."

B and Stu knocked Really out and brought him to another place in the cave. B put fake blood all over his face, while Stu put the fake nail on his forehead. And his...back forehead?

They dragged Really to the opening of the cave where Very was itching every part of his body like crazy. Then he spotted Really.

Very got up, ignoring all of his itching pains. B quickly took out his exploding chap stick.

"You're lips are chapped," said B to Very. "Here Very, take this." B threw Very the chap stick and in mid-air - BOOM!

You could see a bolt of surprise in Very's face. This was Stu's chance.

Stu raced up to Very. He took out the handshake shocker and put it right between Very's eyes and activated it. Very was blinded for a few moments.

Cries of "I can't see," echoed the cavern. TIT grabbed the motorcycles and then did a back flip to get to the top of the cave. B took out the auto exhaust whistle and blew it.

BROOM! BROOM! The sound of an escaping vehicle sounded. Very was still blinded, so he thought TIT was actually getting away.

Very, still blinded by the handshake shocker, started to run out the cave. TIT put a mute on the sounds for their motorcycles and then took off. They headed for their car.

TIT found their car next to a police station. They quickly parked the motorcycles next to the car. Stu snapped his fingers, and a mechanical hand picked all three up.

TIT got in the car. "What do you plan next?" asked B.

J answered, "We still need to figure out their exact plan."

"Maybe we can be like...spies!" said Stu.

"Yeah," said B, "a spy mission!"

"To figure out their plan," said J. And that plan of TIT was settled.

*****

"Very," said Really, "I was knocked out and..."

"ZOMBIE!" screamed Very, who had started to run.

"Wait," Very whispered to himself, "zombies can't exist. Oh man, what will TIT think up next? Oh, I know. I'll have a spy mission!"


Chapter 6 - Spy Mission

B took fart chewing gum, finger smoke, invisible ink pen, phony lottery tickets, and the time-delayed electronic whoopee cushion.

B got out his credit card and paid for his stuff. Then he left Prankster's and walked across the road to Car People and Co. Stu was in there.

Stu, let's go," said B. Stu followed B into Toys R Us. J was not in there. B just wanted to look around.

After B looked around, he went into TVs R Us. J was in there.

"You know J," said Stu, "you can put a TV in your car."

"I know," replied J. "And..."

"And that's it," said Stu. "Come on let's go."

"Let me just see the end of the game," said J.

"And the game's over," said the announcer guy. "This game has been brought to you by..."

A Master Card commercial came on. "Super Mario Sunshine: $14.99," said the commercial. "Uh, Mario Party: $19.99. Super Mario World: $29.99. Having fun with a Zorro action figure: priceless. There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard."

Then a Visa commercial came on. The commercial said, "Do you want to be on TV? This is your chance! If you want to be in the next 'new' Visa commercial, just spend a lot of money with your Visa. You'll be on TV doing something we haven't determined yet."

Then an American Express Card commercial came on. "I am an Olympics champion. I like to have big bones. And when I went on the American subway back to America, I thought to myself: *what a wonderful world*. Anyways, that night I took out my American Express Card and kissed it."

"Hey," said J, "three credit cards can't all be sponsored by the same show!"

"It doesn't matter," said B. "I'm going in that store and buying ten-thousand TVs!"

*****

Very just finished his plan. He would be leaving for the Moon in a couple of days! He just got his cool space cruiser in the mail.

But first Very would have to spy on TIT.

*****

J looked just like an evil pirate when he shut off all the electricity and walked down the passage and turned it back on. He was about to figure out Very's plan.

"Hello, evil pirate," said Really. "If you're looking for Very, he's spying on TIT."

J had an idea. He ran away and when Really could not see him he changed form into Very. Then J walked back to Really and said, "Some stupid pirate wanted to join our crew but I knocked him out."

"How do I know you're really Very?" said Really.

*I'm an idiot, but LOCK*. J locked his outside form. He was now officially a clone of Very.

"REVEAL!" said Really. J stayed in Very's form. "Very, tomorrow we're gonna go to the Moon and use a laser to destroy the world. Then we're gonna destroy the Moon! I can't wait!"

*This explains everything.*

J was about to leave when the real Very came in.

Really did his "test" on Very and he was real. Really wondered how this could be. "You made a clone!" he finally shouted.

"I don't think so," said Very, uneasy. "Maybe I do have a clone."

J popped the fart chewing gum into his mouth. Soon he was farting uncontrollably.

"Sorry," said J.

J popped the finger smoke into his finger. His finger had smoke coming out of it.

"Ahh!" yelled Really. "You're farting and you're...smoking!"

J spit out his gum onto the finger of his that was smoking and he stopped farting. He took out his finger smoke and put it in his left pocket. Then he reached in his right pocket and took out his electronic whoopee cushion. He pressed the twenty second delay and hid it in Very's pocket. This edition was pocket-sized.

Very farted.

"Gotta go," rushed J. J threw a note on the ground which said, "Here are two lottery tickets." Taped to the note were two lottery tickets. Fake lottery tickets.

J left with Very and Really scratching lottery tickets. They both won one-thousand bucks.

Then Very saw something on the ground. It was ink. The words on the ink said "Invisible Ink ink."

Very dabbed it on the note. Then a message started to appear. It said, "Ha! I'm really spying on you and you'll never find out. You are so stupid. Signed, J."

"Err!" yelled Very. "J locked himself. Well, I'm gonna teach him a lesson!"

Really ran after Very, but he was much too slow. So Really looked at the note. There were faded words on the paper that he could not make out...with. I'm just kidding. He *could* make out with the note. But he didn't. Instead, Really accidentally spilled the ink next to the paper all over the bottom of the note. On the note were these words: "PS: Those lottery tickets are fake."

"CRAP!" yelled Really as loud as he could. "I REALLY thought I had TWO GRAND!"

*****

J arrived back at his base. When the other two saw him, they screamed.

"Guys, it's me, J. I accidentally locked myself to Very's form and I don't know what I look like."

Stu transformed into J. "Try copying me," he said.

J copied Stu. He ended up looking just like Stu.

Then Very showed up.

J walked up to Very, who looked like J's form, and said, "REVEAL."

J was stunned. Very had locked himself in J's form.

"How about we teach Very a lesson and throw him off the cliff?" said Very.

The three picked up J and threw him off a cliff. "BYE!" yelled Very.

J fell and fell and fell and fell and fell. J finally stopped falling, and that's when J air-stroked away into nothing.

NOT! He wanted revenge. So he locked his image in his head after seeing Very and changed and locked. J could not give up without a fight.

WE ARE EXPERIENCING SOME PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW. PLEASE READ BY.

PARAGRAPH MISSING. SORRY!

"Take that, Very," the trio yelled as Very fell off the cliff.

"I'll be back!" yelled Very. "In fact..."

Very grabbed J by the neck and yelled, "I'll shoot!" He made a gun appear. BOOM! Very shot. But what came out of the gun was not a bullet. It was a message.

*We do not support violence. This gun will now explode.*

"Huh?" said everybody.

BURINATION!

Everyone got covered in icky black smoke that...

"SKIP THE DESCRIPTION!" yelled Very. "I want to clean myself up!"

Yes. Very left and cleaned himself up.

But TIT had all the gears and moves to - oof - lose. They um...instead they...did something like...they flew away.

*****

J got all scared. "Where are you taking me, evil one?" he asked.

"To the Moon!" Very yelled. "Moo hoo ha ha ha ha!"

"SHUT UP! yelled Really. "If we are gonna win this battle we've got to make a threat. I hope you have the knife ready, Very."

An evil grin spread on their faces.

Very took out his knife. Then he swung his arm down at J's heart.

BOOM! B and Stu saved the day by somehow breaking into Very's base and melting the knife with their supernatural powers.

TIT somehow escaped and sped toward the Moon. They could not let anything bad happen.


Chapter 7 - On The Moon

"Where did B go?" asked J to Stu.

Stu took out a portable TV. B was on a Visa commercial.

B knocked out two zombies, and then he punched the head off a third. B was wearing a karate suit and he was a black belt. "If you want to be like me," B said, "you have to buy karate lessons. Visa is making it a whole lot easier to do that. Now if you buy tooty-two things, Visa is giving you one free." B took out his Visa card and kissed it. A fourth zombie came up from behind B. B back punched him, still kissing the card.

"B won!" yelled J.

Just so you know, TIT is in the air, flying toward the Moon.

"Yeah" said Stu. "But then Very and Really dressed up as zombies and captured him." Stu threw his TV into the air.

"OW!" yelled Very. "WHO THREW THIS LIGHTWEIGHT TV AT ME?" Very, Really, and B were rocketing upward to the Moon on a rocket. B was tied to the Original Torture Bed.

Stu and J flew faster upward to get to the Moon. But Really made the rocket go faster than the idiots.

J grabbed hold of the base of the rocket. He tossed the rocket downward, but Very tilted it back up. Then Very grabbed hold of Stu and J. He tied them to the Original Torture Bed. Then he pushed it down to earth.

TIT screamed. "We're gonna die!" yelled Stu.

"Stu," said B, "have you not realized by now that we can fly?"

"Is that a trick question?" asked Stu.

"Stu," said J, "you are STUPID! You are stupider than me or B."

"I love brain teasers!" said Stu. "I bet the answer is yellow."

"No," said B. "The answer is we're not gonna die, we can definitely fly."

"I love couplets!" yelled Stu. "My latest one is: I wish we could fly, but we are gonna die."

"Stu!" yelled J. "Work with me, boy!"

"Oh!" said Stu. "I love quotes from cartoons. Let me try! 'Eh...What's up, dock?'"

This time J and B ignored Stu. They flew the Original Torture Bed to the Moon.

It wasn't a very safe landing, but they managed to live. There was only one problem with it. As soon as the bed landed, the hands of the idiots hurt because the landing caused gravity to come to them. It caused a sudden jolt upward, scratching the heroes with pain. J immediately turned his hand into a chainsaw and tried to cut his way loose. But the chainsaw wasn't on. So he made his right leg reach his right chainsaw and then his left chainsaw, and he turned them both on.

J hopped off the bed and changed his hands from chainsaws to rope cutters. He quickly cut his friends loose.

Very and Really had already set up their inflatable evil lair. TIT rushed inside. Very was setting up his big, giant, could-kill-you, evil, could-make-you scream, laser. "Moo hoo ha ha ha," Very and Really laughed evilly.

"Grab hold of me," whispered B as he took at his grapple. "What? It's not rusty. Now it will surely pop the evil lair. "

*****

Very looked outside an inflatable window. A giant meteor was blocking the laser's path.

"Really," he said, "How are we going to shoot with that meteor there?"

"Just shoot over it," said Really.

PACHOOSH!

"What was that!" said Very, turning around.
No one was there.

*****

"Just shoot over it," said Really.

B shot the grapple over a bar at the top of the lair. There was a loud PACHOOSH! B instantly pressed the ascend button. As quick as a flash they were on top of the bar.
 
Very forgot the sound. He pushed the laser on a platform. Then he pushed a button on the mini control panel on the platform. It made it ascend. It stopped all the way at the top, right next to J, Stu, and B.

Very was just about to shoot the laser when Stu jumped out on Very. He grabbed his arm, but Very swung it to the right. Stu flew down on Really with such force that Really fell onto the ground and almost broke his spine.

J's turn was next. He took out the Original Torture Chainsaw and started it up.

Very was about to stop him, but B jumped out and pushed Very down off the platform. He fell ten feet.

J quickly out the machine in eighths and descended the platform. On the ground lay the lifeless bodies of Really, Very, and Stu.

Not! You really believed that. If you're reading this on April 1st, APRIL FOOLS!

Really just stayed on the ground repeating the word "ow" over and over again. Stu hopped up, since Really cushioned the fall. Very, however, forgot his pain when anger took over.

"You ruined my dreams of evil!" yelled Very.

"Well, the good guys always win," said J.

"Always," said Stu.

Very took out his lightsaber. "Not this time!" he shouted.

"Listen," said B. "We good guys expect one thing from you bad guys: for you guys to die."

As B said his line, J took out his lightsaber and made the weapon part come out. Then all three members of TIT said, "You're gonna die now!"

Very lit his lightsaber. He took out a white glove and threw it on the ground. Very knew this preordained that he wanted to duel, but TIT did not. Stu gave him the question mark eyebrow.

Then Very finally realized that they had no clue what his action meant. "It means I want to have a duel!" he yelled.

"Don't mind if I do," said J, stepping forward. As soon as J stepped forward two steps, Very charged at J.

J, taken by surprise, was as still as a rock. B and Stu could not let anything bad happen to J. They both leaped headfirst into the air. B and Stu hit at the same time, causing all of them to fall down. Very, still charging, tripped over them and landed on top of them, right on J's lightsaber. Very's lightsaber landed on the ground, barely missing J's head.

Really jumped up and pushed away TIT. He saw Very with the lightsaber stuck in him. He took it out, and then he opened Very's shirt to see the wound. To everyone's surprise, Very was wearing a lightsaber-proof suit.

J saw his opportunity. He grabbed Very's light saber. J got off the ground. Then he held up his light saber right over Really...

*****

Very saw J trying to hit Really through Really's legs. Very kicked J through Really's legs. J fell down.

"First of all," said Very, "That's my light saber. Second, Really's wearing a lightsaber-proof vest too."

Very grabbed J's lightsaber and threw it over to J. "Take your weapon," he said.

*****

Stu was over at Very's cut up laser. He was loading his laser with Very's giant laser.

"RE-a-LOADED!" said the Stu's laser.

PUME! PUME! Stu fired it, aiming at Very. Very dodged it.

"What are you trying to do?" he said. "Poke an eye out?"

"Worse," said Stu.

PUME! Stu had tried and failed again. "RELOAD!" said Stu's laser.

"That's only how much laser fluid that thing can hold," chuckled Very.

"I put it on the sleep forever setting," explained Stu.

"Really!" yelled Very. "Start up our cruiser! I'll deal with TIT!"

Really quickly got in his space suit and ran outside. Very stared at his rivals.

"There's only one way to settle this," said Very. "DANCE CONTEST!"

Very put on a black suit and put on a black hat. Out of nowhere came a cane and Very grabbed it. 

He tapped the ground with his cane five times. He repeated what he had just done. Then he jumped in the air and did a complete circle. Then he took off his hat.

The judges each gave him a nine. "Beat that" Very said to TIT.

TIT huddled and decided to do a soft rock dance. The line-up was - from left to right - B, J, and then Stu.

They had their backs to the...um...audience. J turned around first. Then B and Stu turned around at the same time. J walked up to the front, and B and Stu split apart to walk to the front. When they got there, though, they moved closer to each other.

When J did a back flip, B and Stu did a front flip. When J slid back, B slid to the left, and Stu slid to the right. Then, for a finale, J did a split. B and Stu picked him up and threw him in the air. Then they caught him.

The first judge...a nine. The second judge...a nine. The last judge...a nine.

It was a tie!

"I didn't think it was absolutely terrible," said Simon.

The judges left to go judge something else.

"There's got to be another way to settle this..." said Very.

*****

Inside the space cruiser was Really waiting. "What's taking him so long?" he wondered.

"WARNING!" said the cruiser. "THE HEAT IS LOW! SWITCH TO THE GETAWAY VEHICLE TO CONSERVE HEAT!"

Really did that. He landed it right next to the cruiser.

*****

"I'VE GOT IT!" screamed Very. He snapped his fingers. "There are to be three mini-games. Whoever wins the most wins. The first event... golf."

They all got on their space suits and headed outside. Very hit first. It was on the white.

TIT discussed who would perform the event. B was selected for his strength.

B swung the club. As he swung, J yelled, "B! It will go six times farther than you want it to go!" Unfortunately, J had said this too late. Not like B could hear him anyway.

It flew over the flag and out of sight. But then it came back over their heads and landed right next to the flag. The ball had gone over the Moon.

Very putted his ball in the hole. B had his turn now. If he got it in, they would have a tie and they would do another course. He hardly hit the ball...and it rolled right over the hole. Very had won the first event.

They headed back inside for their second event: Moon Jeopardy!

J was selected to play against Very. The first person to get one-thousand won.

"I'll take People for two-hundred."

The answer was: The first person on the Moon.

J buzzed in. "Who is Neil Armstrong?" he said.

"Correct!" said the host.

I'll take People for four-hundred" said J.

The answer was: What people in space are called.

"Astronauts!" said J.

"Wrong!" said the host.

"Who are astronauts?" said Very.

"Correct!" said the host.

Without think Very said, "Physics for one-thousand." If he had said Physics for six-hundred, even if he got the question wrong and J got it right, J would not have won. If Very got it right, he would win.

The answer was: One-hundred pounds on the Moon.

"Six-hundred pounds!" said Very.

"Wrong!" said the host.

"What is six-hundred pounds?" said J.

"Correct." said the host.

J had won the Moon Jeopardy. TIT had won the second event.

"It is time for the final event," said Very. "The event is Moon racing."

Stu was ready. He jumped into the vehicle. The task was simple: the first one around the Moon wins.

The speeds on the vehicles were rapid, with a top speed of three-thousand miles per hour. Very got in his vehicle and the race was about to start.

THREE...TWO...ONE...GO!

They both pressed the gas pedal all the way down. Stu's cheeks were so far back that you could see the veins of his eyeballs.

Very turned his steering wheel to the left and it rammed into Stu's vehicle. That gave Very a lead of a few feet.

Stu knew that if Very got ahead too much, then Very would definitely win. Stu knew there was a way to beat Very, but it would be a risky move. He turned the wheel to the left. Then he turned it to the right. 

BOOM! Although Stu hit only Very's left back wheel, Very's vehicle flew in the air and did a sideways flip. Although this action was quick, with a speed of three-thousand miles per hour, Stu was way too much farther ahead. Very lost the race.

With TIT winning the majority of the mini-games, it was settled.

"We settled it!" yelled TIT.

Very laughed. "Settled what? I just made this stuff up to keep you from thinking of my evil plan. Now I'm gonna talk to Really." He took out a walkie-talkie. "NOW!"

The getaway vehicle burst into the inflatable evil lair. Very jumped inside it. "So long!" he yelled. "We have a second part to our plan! We will destroy the Moon and something will happen to the water on that planet! Good bye, IDIOTS!"


Chapter 8 - The Getaway

Very lit the fuse on the giant cannon that would destroy the Moon. There was no way TIT could stop them. They had an anti-superpower shield. If TIT tried to destroy their ship, they would be burned by the ray of the shield.

"An anti-superhero shield!" screamed J. "They've won. I can't believe it. The Moon is gonna be destroyed in a few seconds. There is no way we can win." J looked around. No one was there. "Guys?"

*****

"Hurry up and light it Stu!" yelled B. "And don't let it touch the cold air of the Moon. We need to launch the space cruiser."

B and Stu were outside on the Moon. They were going to light a fuse on a cannon. But the ball was Very's cruiser. It would rocket up to Very and Really's getaway vehicle and knock it out of the shield. But they only had a few seconds.

"Hurry up!" yelled B. "Very and Really are just about to fire their cannon!" Stu could not hear B. B could not here himself either. There is no wind on the Moon, so sound waves do not travel.

Stu finally lit the cannon. BOOM! TIT did not get direct aim, but the cruiser hit off the cannon. As it fell, B powered up a big bluish, purplish sphere. B rocketed it across to the giant cannon. The cannon was destroyed.

*****

"What!" yelled Very. "Really, deactivate the shield. We're getting out of here."

They deactivated the shield. "So long!" said Very. "You'll never catch us!"

J rushed outside. He jumped onto the getaway vehicle. He punched through the glass.

He grabbed Really. "Very!" yelled Really. "Step on it!"

Very flew the getaway vehicle away from the Moon. J jumped inside the vehicle. He threw a bad guy out. Really was spinning and flipping toward the Moon. "NOOOOO!" yelled Very. He punched J's head. J's head flung toward the window. J punched the window out, so his head would not have to face pain.

But J was punched so hard he came out of the getaway vehicle. He was only hanging on by his hands.

"This little hand disappears forever," said Very, pulling up J's left hand. "And this little piggy follows suit..."

CRASH! Very was not watching what was going on in front of him, so he crashed into a giant asteroid. They were both blinded by the dust for a minute. Very had a chance to escape.

J jumped out of the getaway vehicle. *Where did Very go?* Would he have to search every hole in the asteroid? "I better start looking," J said.

J walked one step forward and fell. He had fallen into the first hole.

"AHHHHH!" screamed J. He was on a slide. At the end it would curve and he would be in...

"An evil lair?" said J.

"Yes!" shouted Very. "My victim has arrived."

"I came after you to stop you," said J. "You should be ready to lose a fight."

"Justice versus evil," said Very. "But I should tell you something. I never wanted to be evil. But when I was captured and taken to jail I got angry. I wanted revenge. I got arrested for nothing. I was just evil because my father was."

"No one says father anymore," said J. "They say dad."

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?" yelled Very.

J pulled back his hands and then pushed them forward at Very. It created an air wave so strong it thrust Very at a wall.

"So that's how you want it," said Very. He picked up some sand (or whatever that asteroid dirt was) and threw it in J's face. Very ran through a tunnel.

J ran after Very, getting only a few glimpses of him as he ran. J took rights and lefts through the giant asteroid.

Very came to a spot where the only way to go was up. Very looked up to see if there were any tunnels upward. All he saw was darkness. He flew up.

J came into the chamber a few seconds later. He did not see Very. He turned his eyes on night-vision. He looked up. Very was flying toward the top of the asteroid.

J chased after him. He extended his arm to Very's leg and grabbed it.

"You!" yelled Very. "I'm trying to get away from you!"

"And I'm trying to stop you!" yelled J.

BOOM! A big brown hand came out of the wall. Then a whole body came through.

"ASTEROID MONSTER!" yelled J and Very.

There was in fact an asteroid monster. And boy was he hungry.

He reached out to grab Very and J. "We're gonna have to work together," said J.

The two moved away from the monster. The giant missed.

"No way!" yelled Very. "I am not working with you!"

"Fine," said J. "Get killed by the monster."

"Right," said Very. "I could knock this guy down in one hit."

Very flew straight at the monster. He was ready to punch it down. But the monster grabbed him. It walked back where it came from.

J followed the monster. He came to yet another large chamber. The brown monster was no where in sight.

He flew farther into the room. "VERY!" he screamed. Suddenly he was grabbed by the wall! The monster camouflaged itself to make it look like a wall! Now both J and Very were captured!

"It's hungry, right?" said J.

"Yeah," said Very. "That's why it wants to eat us."

J made an arm come out of his head. He was ready to feed the monster a giant peanut.

ROAR! The monster rejected the peanut. J sunk his arm that was on top of his head into his head.

The monster put them in his mouth! He swallowed them whole!

Very and J were sliding down the monster's throat.

"FLY UP!" screamed Very. Very was flying for freedom. J was just about to fly when he got caught in a hole. J pushed himself out and flew up.

J chased after Very. Very quickly escaped through the monster's mouth. J flew after him, but the monster's mouth closed. There was another way out of the monster, though. Through the monster's nose.


J avoided dripping mucus and stayed away from nose hairs. It was disgusting to see all the green snot.

Suddenly the monster fell over. J hit a nose hair and he was sneezed out. Very was no where in sight.

J looked down. The monster lay on the ground. To the left of it was a giant hammer.

"Where is Very?" wondered J. He headed upward to a hole at the top. J was back on top of the asteroid, but he was not finished yet. Although he had sort of worked with Very, it was payback time.

J walked over to the spot where the getaway vehicle was. It was not there. J looked up. Flying in the sky was a light - Very's getaway vehicle.

J flew after it, but was held back. He was getting sucked into a black hole!

Very watched J getting sucked into a black hole. He felt sorry for him. *Maybe I should save him.* "No way!" he said. "He's on the other side. He's good and I'm evil. If I save him I'll be considered on good."

*But did I ever want to be evil?*

"HOLD ON J!" screamed Very. He flew the getaway vehicle over to J. He had to watch where he was, or else he would get sucked in too.

"Very, why are you helping me?" asked J, clinging his arms onto the vehicle.

"Why do think?" said Very. He pulled J out of the black hole.

"I'll give you a ride back to the Moon," said Very.

They arrived at the Moon. Very pushed J out the door. J fell on his face.

"Hey!" yelled J. "What gives?"

"Really!" yelled Very. "Tie them to the torture bed. Then we'll have beaten TIT, and we can make another laser to destroy Earth."

"What?" yelled J. "You can't - you just - you're sick."

"Don't forget to create a superpower shield around them." said Very. "If they move, they'll get burnt." He jumped down from the getaway vehicle and walked over to TIT "Don't worry. The shield will burn up in the atmosphere, JUST LIKE YOURSELVES!"

"You'll never catch us," said Stu. "Because we're The Idiot Trio. And I've got flames to prove it. You're going down...I'VE BURNT MYSELF!"

J extinguished the flames. "I've got a question." said J. "If we're not inside the base, what just happened to the laws that state we can't hear sound and flames can't burn in open air?"

Really tied TIT to the bed. "Hey!" yelled J. "I want an answer!" Really concealed the shield and went inside the inflatable evil lair. He came out with popcorn and a lawn chair.

He took out an extending metal arm to push TIT into the cannon. If Very touched the chair, he would get burnt.

Right before Very shot the cannon he got an idea. "Really." he said, "why don't we shoot them into a black hole!"

"Excellent," said Really. Very fired TIT into the black hole.

And into the black hole they went.

*****

BOOM! The original torture bed broke away from TIT. The shield split open. TIT had their chance to escape the shield. They did, but the black hole's suckage was so massive it was like a person trapped inside a tornado trying to walk back on land.

Then out of nowhere came light. Land came along next. TIT landed on it.

A guy walked up to them. "You have a choice," he said. "You can stay here or take five tests. If you fail any of the tests you will be put to death...I mean jail."

"What's your name?" asked J.

"I DON'T TELL MY REAL NAME TO ANYBODY!" he yelled. "But you can call me Boss."

"We'll take the tests," requested J.

"Good," said Boss.

Boss led them to a stage. "You must first get a twenty as a total score on the dance floor."

TIT watched some people dance the exact same dance as they had done for against Very. They got a two, a five and a seven.

TIT huddled. "We are going to have to try something different," said J.

"I've got a plan," said B.

TIT walked up to the stage. J spun on his head. Then B and Stu picked him up and tossed him in the air. They jumped on top of him and spun him like a log. Then they back flipped off and caught him. B and Stu let his feet touch the ground. J hopped off. Then J backed away from B and Stu. They charged at each other. When they were just about to bang into each other, they all did a flip. Their shoes touched and each held in the air for a few seconds, totally redefining the laws of gravity. Then they all dropped to their feet and turned to the judges.

The first judge gave them a four. Not a good start, but it was okay. The second judge gave them a six. That meant the last judge would have to give them a ten or else. The last judge gave them...a ten.

TIT celebrated briefly. There was another challenge coming.

"You must get a hole in one on this golf course," said Boss.

The course was a long one with an extraordinarily steep hill. On the steep hill was the hole.

"This is impossible," said B.

"Then step up to the impossible," said Boss.

B was about to tap the ball into the air when J shouted, "We're not on the Moon!"

Hearing this, B swung like he usually would. It dropped onto the hill and rolled down to the hole. The ball dropped into the hole. It was balancing in a way most people would think impossible.

Your third test is to get this Jeopardy question right," said Boss. "The answer is: It makes you have supernatural powers."

"What is superpower juice?" shouted J.

"Correct," said Boss. "How about a race? You have two minutes to complete this bicycle course. And don't put your feet on the ground. If you touch it, something will melt. The tires won't."

Stu set his watch for two minutes. He got on the bike and waited.

"GO!" Boss yelled. Stu started his watch and pedaled the bike. He got to the first hill and stood up and pedaled. Then when Stu got to the top, he saw the jump.

Stu was terrified to go down the hill and off the jump. He checked his watch. He had one minute and fifteen seconds. Stu started pedaling again. And he went off the jump.

There was a gap between the jump and the nearest land after it. That made Stu even more scared. When he landed, his heart stopped, frightened that he would not be able to balance.

Stu pedaled downhill. There was a sharp turn to the right. He hit the brake and turned. Then he headed back downhill.

The end of the course was just ahead. Stu sped through it, hit the brake, and jumped off. Stu looked at his watch. Two minutes and six seconds. Had he made it?

"One minute and fifty-eight seconds," said Boss. "But don't get your hopes up. We're going to head to the stadium for the last event. It is the hardest. The last event is - oh, you'll have to wait."

They walked to the middle of the stadium. A bowl was covered up. "They'll have to eat sugar!" yelled Boss.

There were gasps throughout the crowd. You could hear people whispering, "But it's the foulest food ever created."

Boss took off the cover. J, B, and Stu dove head-first into the sugar. There was not even a grain of sugar left.

Most of the crowd gasped. Whoever did not gasp fainted. "You've proven yourself worthy of all the tests," said Boss. "You must have cheated."

"NO!" TIT yelled. "WE PLAYED FAIR!"

"OKAY!" said boss. "You can stop talking in capitals."

A lady came up to TIT. "Now, what planet do you come from?"

"Earth," said TIT. "On land."

"Step in this portal," said Boss, pointing to a transporter.

TIT stepped into the portal. They were transported back to earth.

"That place was weird," said Stu. "They didn't like sugar. I can't believe those guys."

"I think I know why," said J.

B and Stu turned around. There was an angry piece of sugar.

"It must have jumped into the portal with us," said J.

"I don't think so," said B. He kicked the robot.

"Listen!" yelled J. "We've got more to worry about than sugar. There's a mirror on the Moon that we have to destroy. And to make it harder, two evil villains!"

J grabbed his friends. He started to fly toward the Moon. The next thing he saw was a giant red light coming from the Moon. Very's evil plan would be successful.

Chapter 9 - The Last Attempt

"B! STU!" yelled J. "We have to create a force field!"

"I don't think I have enough energy," shouted Stu. 

"Do you want me to do it all by myself?" asked J.

"Yes." said B and Stu.

"I challenge you two to an air battle," said J. "The winner has to create the force field."

J threw an air bubble at the two. "Ha ha," he said. "You lose and I win. I wanna see a shield."

B said. "No. You won so you have to create the force field."

"What?" said J.

"Flashback," said Stu.

"The winner has to create a force field," said B imitating J.

"Fine!" yelled J.

J was going to create a force field right where he was but then he realized the beam had struck below him. J flew downward. He finally got below the beam. But J's force field alone would not be tough enough.

"B! Stu!" yelled J. "You have to help me! The fate of the world depends on you two!" 

That caught Stu's attention. But B did not think the same as Stu.

"I won!" he scolded. "He has to create the force field by himself! Stu, listen to me! Don't help J! He just doesn't want to create the force field! J can do it all by himself!"

"No he can't!" yelled Stu.

"If mad men have ears, listen to me!" yelled B.

"If wise men have no eyes, why should mad men listen?" said Stu.

"Stop reciting Shakespeare!" yelled J. "The fate of the world is in our hands!"

"That was Shakespeare?" said Stu. "I thought that was Mother Goose."

J thought hard in his head. He had to make B help. *Maybe I can use what they used in one of those movies that needed a solution right out of nowhere. I just thought of it. I can use - da duh da daa! - reverse psychology!*

"Hey B!' yelled J. "If you don't help me create a force field, I'll get you a cookie!"

B thought for a moment. *Why would he give me a cookie? He wants me to help! I know what he's doing!*

"You're tricking me into thinking that you don't want me to help!" said B. "But I know your secret. You're using forward backwards!"

"No you're saying that..."

POW!

J was knocked downward by the beam. Luckily he had the strength to repel the beam from his body, but the force was so strong it could simply knock a whale downward.

"B!" yelled Stu. "J's hurt! You have to create the force field! J is trapped in the beam and I'll have to rescue him!"

B couldn't believe his ears. *So J wasn't strong enough to create a force field. Wait a minute! If he wasn't, why does Stu say I can?*

B sped downward under the beam. His altimeter said thirty-thousand feet.

"I haven't got much time," said B. He powered up his hands. They turned blue and then projected a blue bubble. "B says: none shall pass thy force field!"

B could only hope for success now. But wait. What is that in the distance? It's two people free-falling. Why, it's Stu and J falling like dead monks.

*Stu and J are falling! Which do I value more: Two lives that are about to die; or do I value every life in this solar system?*

"I've got it!" yelled B. He would rescue both of the options. "How am I going to do that," thought B.

"I've got it!" yelled B. "I'll do something amazing!"

He shot the force field at the end of the beam. Then gravity came back to him and he dove head-first for his friends.

After catching them, he slowed down gravity. He watched as the beam broke through the force field.

"I can't believe this," B shouted to the sky. "I try to do something cool for the crowd below me, and I fail. Now instead of them being amazed, they'll be afraid."

The Moon said to B, "Wake your friends. They will help you."

B woke up his friends. "Now what?" he asked.

The Moon said, "I am a satellite. I am not a planet."

B looked down. He asked his planet, "What do I do?"

The earthquake said, "Don't let me die!"

B, Stu, and J flew under the beam. Together they created a force field so strong that - OH NO! I thought the good guys always win. They got sucked into the beam. The altimeter read twenty-thousand feet!

There was only one way to stop the problem. You have to face your fears. TIT had just enough strength left to push their way up the beam. It was hard work. Almost as if you are carrying a box of dictionaries up the Empire State Building.

Finally B, J, and Stu had worked their way up. Stu left to slow down the force field, which left B and J to fight Very and Really.

"Two on two," said Very. "How exciting."

*****

Stu raced down to his planet. He got back through the atmosphere and he was flying next to the beam.

He finally got under it. His altimeter read thirteen-thousand feet. He didn't have much time. He would have to slow down the beam.

He created a force field, and then he kept adding layers to it. When the beam reached the force field, it was slowed down, but it was not slow enough. There had to be something other than a force field that could slow a laser beam charging for the world.

*Everyone or everything has a weakness. Superman has kryptonite. Frankenstein has fire. What is this beam's weakness?*

Stu thought hard. He thought harder than he had every thought before. He wished he could convert his superpowers to brainpower, but he could not.

"What is the solution?" he said. Then he thought of it. "Pollution!" (Pollution is bad for the environment so do not try this at home kids.)

Stu created steam and smoke and smog and whatever pollution he could think of. The beam was slowing down, but it would not come to a complete stop. The beam was probably charging at a rate of ten miles an hour now. So you can imagine how quick Stu must have been falling.

*****

"We just came to save the world," said J. "We're leaving after that."

"No way," said Very. He pressed a button on a remote. A superpower shield surrounded the laser. "You don't pass," he said as he put the remote back in his pocket.

J said to B, "We just need to knock out Very. Then we can move on."

J tried to punch Very. But Very threw him over his shoulder. J did a handstand when he landed.

He jumped on Very's shoulders. Very threw him off. J got into a ball and rolled toward the wall. He got up and charged at Very's back. Very punched him in the head.

J rubbed his head. "Ow, ow," he said.

B charged at Very. Very tried to kick him, but B jumped in the air. He tried to block him, but he straightened himself out horizontally, as if he were going to sleep in midair. Very could not find a way to block B, so he decided to dodge him. Very ducked.

B landed on top of Very and the intense pressure made him roll like a bowling ball. B grabbed the remote out of Very's pocket and then threw him against the wall. He deactivated the shield.

B jumped up toward the laser machine. The shield turned back on. A few of B's fingers were burned. "Ow, my fingers," said B.

Really kicked B. "That should knock him out," he said. He turned to J. "I just needed to make the battle even." He started to step closer. "Although I'm not sure if you can beat me."

"You knocked out B, you villain!" yelled J.

"B knocked out Very," said Really. "I am only doing what the law would have."

"You're doing something illegal right now!" shouted J. "That's it! I challenge you to a duel!"

"Very well then," said Really. "Who wants to gamble that I'm going to win?"

"Me!" shouted the crowd.

"Too bad," said Really. "No one's gambling on J."

The crowd went home.

J charged at Really and jumped into the air. Really crouched.

"Missed me!" yelled Really.

J backflipped onto Really's shoulders. Really climbed atop him, and J fell to the ground with the weight of Really on him. "Give up," said Really.

"NO!" yelled J, while throwing Really off his shoulders. "NEVER!"

J jumped up to a bar on the ceiling and broke one side of it. He swung over to Really kicking him in the face.

He broke the other side of the bar and then fell on Really. Really was knocked out.

B was just waking up. "Go break the mirror!" commanded J.

J grabbed the remote and deactivated the superpower shield. He climbed up to the laser and saw his planet. It was red. Was he too late?

*****

"There's that loony!" shouted a guy. "Shoot him down!"

A lady with a bazooka fired a shot at Stu. It was a direct hit. Stu fell one-thousand feet. When he landed, he started shaking uncontrollably.

"Why does he look like he has electricity in him?" said a guy.

Then the shaking stopped.

*****

B flew out to the mirror. He created a hammer and slammed it at the mirror. It would not break. B chucked the hammer.

B frantically searched his pockets. He only found one thing. TNT left over from the toss.

There was only one problem. Fire does not burn on the Moon. Unless...

B shielded the fire in a blue bubble, and he waited for the kaboom. The mirror shattered.

This was good. The laser would not stop, but it would slow down the process. The laser could make the laser fluid but not as fast.

*****

J slammed his hand on the stop button, but Very grabbed his hand. J slammed his other hand down, but Really stopped him.

"Not so fast," he said. "I don't think you want to ruin our plans, do you?"

Very picked up the remote and activated the superpower shield.

A green ball formed in Very's hand. "Let's see if you can dodge this!" shouted Very, throwing the sphere directly at J. J did not have enough time to dodge it, so he was hit.

J sunk down. He got knocked out.

"That should stop them," said Really. "Because in a few seconds, we will rule the world! Moo hoo ha ha ha!"

Really turned to the right. Then he saw that the giant mirror was broken.

"Very!" shouted Really. "They broke the mirror! Now it will take a few minutes!"

"We could just fix the mirror," said Very.

Just then, B came into the lair.

"I think I know who broke the mirror," whispered Very to Really.

Really jumped a lot of feet (like you would see when the bad guy is mad and floats over to the good guy). It made a swoosh noise. He landed next to B. Really picked him up by the throat.

J woke up. He saw what was happening. He ran toward B and Really. But Very stopped him.

"Not so fast," he said. He picked up J by the throat.

J put a superpower shield around himself. "Ow!" shouted Very, dropping J.

J reached into Very's pocket and got out his remote. He deactivated the shield and then climbed up to the laser.

Really threw B at J. B hit J, making them fall toward the ground. Both were knocked out.

"That was easy," said Really. "Now we just have to wait."

Very and Really laughed their evil laugh, unaware that B was awakening from his painful slumber.

"You know," said Very, "how long do you think it will take until the whole world is split into pieces?"

"The laser will probably hit in a minute," said Really. "Then it will reach the core of the world, making the world red, not just the atmosphere. The world will split apart and burn up in the atmosphere. Then gravity will pull the people toward the core of the world, and then they will burn up."

"Why do we want to destroy the world in the first place?" asked Very. "I mean, what do we get out of it?"

"We're evil!" shouted Really.

"Oh yeah!" shouted Very.

Really picked up the remote off the ground and activated the superpower shield. "Just in case," he said, putting it in his pocket.

B crawled quietly to Really's pocket. He lifted his hand up and reached in...

No luck. The remote was in Really's other pocket.

*Wait! Didn't I see Really put the remote in his pocket?*

B reached into Really's other pocket. He found the remote. He quickly deactivated the superpower shield.

J was just waking. He saw the laser unprotected and climbed up to it. At the same time, B was climbing up to the laser. They saw each other's faces.

"B," whispered J, "go and stop the laser. I'll go down to Earth."

J jumped away and flew toward earth.

"I HEARD THAT!" yelled Really. He turned around to find B just about to press the stop button.

"NO!" yelled Very. "HOW CAN YOU RUIN MY EVIL PLANS?"

B pressed down on the stop button and self-destructed the lair. Then he hopped away.

Really laughed. "It's not going to self-destruct until five minutes. Besides, Very, you can look on the bright side. He pressed stop instead of destroying your beloved most powerful machine. I think it's so powerful that it won't stop for five minutes."

*****

B just landed on Earth. He saw Stu.

"Come on!" yelled J.

"Look," said B.

J walked over to Stu.

"J!" yelled B. "Are you gonna just stand around there or are you..."

"STU'S HURT BAD!" yelled J.

PWHOOSH! Very's evil laser just burst past into the ground.

"Let's go!" yelled B, diving into the ground.

J stayed.

*****

B could not allow evil to win. He created steel to try to slow down the laser. He produced force fields. Nothing seemed to slow down the monster beam.

For three minutes he could not do anything. It just seemed like the beam was getting faster.

He started to feel warmer. He was beginning to think that he was already at the core of the world!

The ground was all mushy. But soon it got less mushy and more disappeared. B was falling now. All he could see was yellow and red. If he did not stop the beam, the whole world would be toast!

B needed to come up with a solution quick. *Solution! That rhymes with pollution!*

B threw smoke at the beam. And then he threw more smoke. Then more. Then more.

He could not let the people of the world be burnt up. He would die for his race of mankind. If Very Evil wanted to destroy the world, he would not let it happen.

The beam came to a complete stop. But then it started to drop again.

"What do I need to do?" B asked himself. He thought back. No luck.

"Why didn't I destroy the laser?" B questioned himself.

B came up with an idea. He shot a laser through the laser beam. Surely that would destroy the laser beam.

The laser beam stopped.

*****

J watched a big explosion on the Moon. He smiled.

Just then B came out of the ground.

"You missed it!" yelled J.

"What did I miss?" asked B.

"There was a humongous explosion on the Moon. I think I can actually hear Very and Really crying right now. Wait a minute. I do hear them," said J.

Very and Really just landed in front of B and J. "Where's Stu," said Very.

"He's in court." said J. "And he's alive."

"Why wouldn't he be?" asked Really.

"It doesn't matter," said Very. "TID, we challenge you to a duel."

"TID?" said B. "We're TIT."

"You're not a trio right now," said Very. "You're a duo."

Really pushed down B. "A duel. Right now."

An instant later they were in the ring. The announcer yelled, "Let's get ready to rumble!"

B and J got in one corner while Very and Really got in another.

"In the blue red corner are Very Evil and Really Dumb...I mean Really Bad. In the yellow and brown corner are Jerk Krej and Dumb Bmud. This is a caged match so lower the cage."

The cage lowered. DING! DING! DING!

Really created an anvil and dropped it on J and B's heads. B and J ran their separate ways.

"This is pathetic," said Very. "They're fleeing."

J transformed his hand into a rocket launcher. "I'm gonna die!" yelled Very, running around in circles.

J wanted to scare Very. He did not want to kill him. He jumped on top of Very, and Very flung him into the cage.

"Watch it," said J. "That hurt."

B tried a different approach. He spun himself in circles, just like a gear. He hit Really in the leg and he fell over. And then he was kicked into the wall. But one thing is for sure. Very somehow fell down too. Maybe he did it on purpose. Oh yeah, J hypnotized him.

"Oh he down!" said the announcer. "And the winner is Toilet Institute Deadline... I mean B and J!"

Really and Very filled themselves with rage.

An instant later they were back outside near where the laser hit.

"No more play time," said Very. "I want real revenge!"

He charged at J and picked him up by the neck. "I'll choke you," he said. "But that would not be enough." He threw J. "I want you to feel pain. I want you to feel you failed. I want you to feel pain and misery. I will figure out a way, I tell you. You will feel true pain. I'll get you!"

"Um, Very," said Really. "You could drop an anvil on him."

Very flew up in the air. He could not create an anvil. Then he fell.

Really jumped into the air to catch him. He caught Very and stayed in the air for a few seconds. Then he fell.

"Oof," said Really. "What happened?"

"Your use is limited," said J. "Unless you turn stupid."

"I'm gonna get the guy who made the superpower juice!" yelled Very.

"Not so fast!" yelled Stu," rushing in. "You're under arrest."

"Okay kid," said THE BOSS. "TIl take it from here."

"You two are under arrest!" yelled THE BOSS. "Take them away boys."

"Hey," whispered Very. "Wanna try that break-out plan again?"

"I heard that!" yelled THE BOSS

"We did good," said J.

Just then a cop grabbed B, J, and Stu.

"Where are you taking us?" said J.

"Downtown," said the cop. "You have a court case."


Chapter 10 - An Old Foe

"My clients are innocent," said Jack, Very and Really's lawyer. "Besides, there is no proof they tried to destroy the world."

"If you tell the truth I'll give you one-hundred bucks," said the judge.

"Ooh!" shouted Jack. "Well in that case..."

Very pulled Jack down so his ear was next to his mouth. "Five-hundred bucks," said Very.

"My clients are innocent," said Jack.

"How much do you want out of me?" said the judge.

The back doors burst open. Tim Jones was at the door. "Sorry I'm late," he said.

"Our lawyer is just in time," said Stu.

"I want to hear what happened!" yelled the judge.

Jack said things first. "Well Very and Really were let free from jail. They were afraid of society so they hid underground. Those three..." He pointed to Stu, B, and J. "They falsely accused Very and Really on purpose. It was because they wanted to be popular. So after they told everyone that Very was the bad guy, they tried to act as if they were the heroes who stopped him."

The judge saved his Game Boy game. "I want to hear the other side."

"Well," said Tim, "I don't really know anything about what really went on around here about destroying the world. Mostly all I know is that Very and Really stole superpower juice. I drank some and I turned stupid. Anyways, they broke in and got out of the place somehow. I found them and chased after them. They went to the roof of the Empire State Building and we had a brawl and..."

"That's enough!" shouted the judge. "It seems that the only proof that Very and Really tried to destroy the world is the fact that they have superpowers. Take out the needles and check to see if they have the superpower juice in their blood."

The bailiff inserted a needle into both Really's and Very's flesh. The readings indicated that both of them had no superpower juice in their blood.

"Everyone on the side of J, B, and Stu is arrested. Court dismissed," said the judge, slamming his hammer.

Tim ran away and into the police station.

A few guards started carrying B, J, and Stu away by their hands.

"The powers are limited!" yelled J. "They used their powers up! We might lose ours soon..." J trailed off in an idea.

The guards were knocked backward by wind. J hovered at Very and Really. "I have a way to prove you're lying," he said. "I want a lie detector."

Tim Jones came rushing in with one.

"You old foe!" yelled Very.

"Make sure he puts the helmet on right," said J to Tim.

Very put on the lie detector helmet.

"Yesterday, were you on the Moon trying to destroy the world?" asked J.

"Maybe," said Very.

"That's enough!" bellowed the judge. "If you really are going to do anything to prove Very and Really are guilty, then they are guilty! But you three are also guilty!"

"What?" said B and Stu.

"Drain their powers!" yelled the judge.

The guards carried everyone away.

J, B, and Stu were each thrown into three chairs. The chairs held them back.

The machine turned on. It rumbled and shook. Being on the shocking chair was like getting hit by lightning, but not as painful.

When J, B, and Stu were all drained, they were released from their chairs. Guards immediately grabbed them. But first they were told to empty their pockets.

B was the only person who had something. His rappel.

"Give it to me," said a guard.

"Oh, so you want it," said B. "Well, I'll be seeing you. And you'll see my rappel. IN YOUR DREAMS!"

B shot the rappel at the ceiling. It broke through it. B grabbed J and Stu, and they were off.

B swung like Spiderman across buildings. He might not have superpowers anymore, but he knew he could always do something super.

*****

Very played a song on the metal jail cell bars. Really played a rusty harmonica.

Footsteps could be heard walking down the wall. It was Tim.

"You stupid little man," said Very. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in jail! I'll squash you as soon as I escape!"

"No!" yelled Tim. "I came here to tell you good news! The judge is letting you free. He is even giving you a present."

"What?" asked Very.

"Anything you want," said Tim. "You can decide."

"Well..." said Very, "I did want to start a business in New York. Here." Very drew a quick sketch on a piece of paper. "Tell them to build this."


Epilogue

Very compared his sketch of Evil Inc to the real building. "Perfect," he said.

Really walked up to Very. "That place is humongous!" he yelled. "It might look big now, but wait until you get inside! I bet Evil Inc is two-hundred fifty-five stories!"

"How would you know?" asked Very. "I mean, that's bigger than the Empire State Building."

"The elevator has that many buttons," said Really.

"WHOA!" said Very.

Very and Really rode the elevator up to the top. Their view of the city was what we might call awesome.

Then a hook attached to a ledge of their building.

"Grab it!" yelled Very. "I know who it is!"

Really grabbed the hook and handed it to Very.

J, B, and Stu were on the hook. Very shook it as hard as he could. TIT fell off.

"And Crazy Lunatic Flying saves the day!" yelled Tim, catching B, J, and Stu.

"Is that your superhero name?" laughed Very.

"Yes," said Tim. "But it is abbreviated CLF. But most people call me Cleff."

"I might have to live through this stupidness forever," said Very.

"I thought you weren't pure evil until you drank that superpower juice," said J. "Why are you still evil?"

"Because my dad hurt me to be evil," said Very. "I never listened. But now I'm mad at everyone because they locked me in jail for over half my life."

Cleff, J, B, and Stu left.

"I guess they'll never learn why I have to be evil," said Very. "For my father. I might not be happy being evil, but I know I'm doing the wrong thing."

"What?" asked Really.

Very slapped him off the building. "He might never learn either," said Very. "They'll all never ever learn."